hissy fit

[Anonymous Poster]

That's the only way to describe what I saw happen with my son today and it was......funny as heck.

Trying to hook up the mower AGAIN, he asked me for my help. Reflecting on an event that happened yesterday when I asked him for his help and he whined and moaned and complained and eventually after thirty minutes or so, he grudgingly half-way helped me, I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

The neighbor offered to pay him to mow his pasture so he had thirty dollars riding on getting this mower hooked up. I yawned and stretched and said...remember yesterday when I asked you to help me do something......his face fell about five feet as it dawned on him where I was headed.

"So....you're not going to help me?"

"I didn't say that."

"I have to get started now or I won't finish before dark."

"Well...there's always tomorrow."

"But I want to spend the money tomorrow. Never mind...I'll do it without you."

Off he went. I peeked out the window and watched as he grunted and struggled trying to get the mower lined up on the PTO. It's hard for both of us to do, I don't know how Fred does it by himself. The extension arm is really stubborn.

Anyhow after a few minutes the fireworks started. It's a darn good thing I could only see and not hear because I have a feeling I would have had to wash his mouth out with soap. He yelled and hollered and hopped around in a circle, did a kind of a rain dance thing, threw his hat across the yard then went over and stomped on it. When I saw him turn around and head back to the house I sat down quick again.

"I NEED you to help me."

"I know that feeling."

He was fuming. Finally I swept off the front porch, gathered the eggs, and then I 'got around' to helping him. He got the mowing done and got his money.

Was this a mistake? Am I raising an angry kid by doing this turn about thing? Or does 'fair is fair' apply to kids as well.

 

[Gary_in_Indiana]

<font color="blue"> "I NEED you to help me." </font>

It's not just kids. I hear variations on this from adults all the time. Generally it's from people who owe me money or want to owe me money (who want to borrow money from me).

After years of renting property to people and of leasing equipment to people, I may not have "heard it all," but it'll take something special to get me to add to the list.

Let me share with you my standard response to the plaintive, often almost whining, "But I NEED you to (whatever)..."

I simply say, "While I hear what your saying, you have to understand that YOUR 'needs' don't necessarily effect MY actions."

I must say I'm genuinely amazed at how quickly the vast majority of people actually grasp that. I'm guessing your son would have had the same epiphany.

As to whether or not this should be applied to kids, I'll vote "yes" on that one. It's a lesson long remembered when there is a direct application of the principle rather than just a discussion of it.

 

[ScottAR]

It worked on me... I use this principle daily, I'm not usually as eloquent as Gary though. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

 

[Golfgar4]

I used the same approach with my son when I found myself in a similar situation. The only difference that I can see, is that I made I sure I used EXACTLY the same words and excuses that he used on me! That always seemed to work. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[StoneHeartFarm]

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( Generally it's from people who owe me money or want to owe me money (who want to borrow money from me). )</font>

Wow! I didn't know we knew the same people! LOL!

Steve

 

[icat]

Reminds me of one of my favorite sayings.

A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[RichZ]

Cindi, the only thing I would add, is that I would talk to Jake now and bring up both incidents. Remind him that you were trying to show him what he did to you, and ask him if he now understands how you felt. Then I would tell him that others will treat him as he treats them, and that this kind of thing will never happen again if he is as considerate to others as he expects to others to be considerate to him.

 

[SteveBenson]

>He yelled and hollered and hopped around in a circle, did a kind of a rain dance thing, threw his hat across the yard then went over and stomped on it.

This kind of sounds like me trying to get the PTO hooked up on my finish mower by myself. This attachment is difficult because the PTO shaft coming of the mower has zero play in it and neither PTO shaft won't turn by hand. There usually isn't anyone around to help me. I have 2 techniques, both equally frustrating:

Method 1: Keep engaging the PTO to move it and try-try again. I can stick my finger in the reciever to get a general idea of how I want the PTO shaft to line up. Keep tweeking the position of the PTO on the tractor until it looks right and try and see if it lines up. This is the method I usually use and it generally takes 15-20 tries before it goes on.

Method 2: Try lining up the shaft, fail, reach under the deck and pull one of the blades to reposition the shaft, try again, etc. This method seems to be more work, so I generally go with method 1.

Generally by time I get the finish mower on I'm not a happy camper and it takes all of the fun out of the job at hand /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

Anyone have a solution or suggestions?

 

[Anonymous Poster]

Rich...you're right and I did that. I had him trapped in the truck the next morning all the way to Walmart and back! We had a nice LONG talk about reaping what you sow, and getting what you give. Dang did he hate it!

Steve, what we ultimatley have to do is tie a rope to the end of the mower hook-up and run it out under the front of the tractor and both of us pulling can usually get the extension arm to extend far enough to reach the PTO.

I have a sneaky suspicion that a little grease on the extension arm would solve most of our problems, and I keep suggesting it to Jake but I am not going to do it for him. He uses the mower the most and I'm tired of 'telling' him over and over how to solve problems. I told him the first two times now it's up to him to listen.

One day he'll be doing it by himself and he'll remember what I told him and try it and maybe get a new respect for 'dumb old mom'. I suggested it again this time and he actually remembered that I had suggested it before and said the grease is in the tool box in Fred's truck.

I'm hoping he'll take a few minutes this weekend while Fred's truck is home and grease the thing.

 

[Kelvin]

SteveBenson,

I must say that I can't relate to your problem. I have had experience with 2 different rear-mounted finish mowers and one rear-mounted rotary mower. On all three mowers I can turn the drive shaft as required (it is a little harder on the rotary mower since I'm turning a greater mass). However, I never need to since the 3 different Kubotas that I have used I am able to freely turn the PTO shaft as long as the PTO isn't engaged when I make the attempt (the tractor is obviously NOT running at the point).

Having said that, I will offer one response to your request for a suggestion:

If both the tractor's PTO shaft and the mower's PTO drive shaft are not going to turn for you, then I will suggest that you purchase an over-running clutch to install on your tractor's PTO shaft. The over-running clutches are typically free-spinning in one direction. The one's that I've seen cost in the $60-$90 range depending on the model. I'm not sure what the differences are in the models.

Hope this helps,
Kelvin