How would you handle this neighbor issue?

[EE_Bota]

She was on my property accusing me and even telling me her husband saw me hit her gate.

"Madame, your husband is a liar, an cannot be trusted. If you wish to counter that he is truthful, but a coward, I will hear your remarks."

 

[Robert_in_NY]

"Madame, your husband is a liar, an cannot be trusted. If you wish to counter that he is truthful, but a coward, I will hear your remarks."

Perfect, I just told her I do not care what her husband said. By this point she was getting nervous as she realized I did not take kindly to her accusations and started trying to cover by saying she doesn't care about the gate and just wanted me to know I damaged it. She ended up leaving and I hope my reaction today will discourage any future contact. My daughter was with me and knew I was upset with this neighbor but even though I did get rather defensive I didn't say anything I shouldn't have.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

Well on the good side you now know the boundary of your property. On the bad side is you have pretty miserable human beings for neighbors.
"I didn't hold back my feelings like I usually do" hope this means you gave a little back to her.

I did, within reason. I'm happy to know the actual boundary now and very happy that we own further then I thought. This is the headland for one of the vineyard blocks so the extra room will just make spraying so much easier.

 

[Creamer]

Careful with the neighbors. I would continue to be kind to them and show them love but stand firm on what you know, i.e. the boundary line and who did what. Using an old Reagan line "Trust but verify", you need to be careful that they do not get upset enough with you that they sabotage things. You mentioned a vineyard - well if they poisoned a bunch of vines it would be very difficult to prove and it would take many years to recover - not a good position for you to be in. That is why I suggest the Christian method of love and kindness - it is in your best interest and maybe over time they will become good neighbors. Believe me I understand, growing up on a large farm/ranch w ahd a neighbor that would do things like open the pasture gate and let our cows get out and then round them up into his herd and not let us get them. It was not a fun situation but I did learn a lot from how my Dad handled the situation. Now my brother who is on the farm and this guys son get along fairly well but it has been 30 years. you really have no other choice except to move.

 

[Dr Dave]

That is some wild colors on that building, you may want to install a privacy fence, on your new found property.:laughing::laughing::laughing:

 

[Robert_in_NY]

I have no intentions of escalating this, I am just not going to sit around and let this lady keep coming on to my property to tell me what I can, can't, should or shouldn't do or what I supposedly damaged on their property as well as on my own. She never has been friendly, she only comes over when she thinks no one is around to snoop. I caught her today just because I was only running to the house and then back. She saw the surveyors there and we pulled in the first time just as they were leaving so she couldn't snoop till we left.

As for the vineyard, in our area it is a very serious crime if you intentionally or even unintentionally damage a vineyard. If you even spray 2-4d near a vineyard without realizing the danger to the plants you are held liable for the damages and the courts will award damages and they add up very fast. I am fortunate in that the people living on the other side of this block are decent and the one is a friend (he is the one who told me the surveyors were there today). I have quite a few friends living around this farm so for someone to try and do something to the vineyard would take a lot of planning so as to not be caught and these people do not strike me as the type to plan things out like that.

I have no intentions of carrying this on further, I now know the boundry, it will be properly posted and maintained and this problem will hopefully go away. I just couldn't sit there though and let someone accuse me of damaging a rusted out junk gate that hadn't been moved for as long as I can ever recall. There are so many ways people can approach a subject like that without upsetting the other person and this neighbor has not learned any of them though. Our first encounter I let slide but she really rubbed my father the wrong way, I am glad he wasn't there for this exchange because I know he would not have held back as much as I did. But I really did not like how the conversation started, continued or even ended. It was all about what I did wrong on my property. When I was clearing the brush near this gate is when I tried to talk to her husband to ask about the boundry. When he blew grass clippings on me I was especially careful around this gate and boundry just because of the two interactions with them. The last thing I wanted to do was damage their property or even come close so I know I didn't as I didn't even clear all the brush there I wanted to.

 

[J F]

Careful with the neighbors. I would continue to be kind to them and show them love but stand firm on what you know, i.e. the boundary line and who did what. Using an old Reagan line "Trust but verify", you need to be careful that they do not get upset enough with you that they sabotage things. You mentioned a vineyard - well if they poisoned a bunch of vines it would be very difficult to prove and it would take many years to recover - not a good position for you to be in. That is why I suggest the Christian method of love and kindness - it is in your best interest and maybe over time they will become good neighbors. Believe me I understand, growing up on a large farm/ranch w ahd a neighbor that would do things like open the pasture gate and let our cows get out and then round them up into his herd and not let us get them. It was not a fun situation but I did learn a lot from how my Dad handled the situation. Now my brother who is on the farm and this guys son get along fairly well but it has been 30 years. you really have no other choice except to move.

Careful with the neighbors. I would continue to be kind to them and show them love but stand firm on what you know, i.e. the boundary line and who did what. Using an old Reagan line "Trust but verify", you need to be careful that they do not get upset enough with you that they sabotage things. You mentioned a vineyard - well if they poisoned a bunch of vines it would be very difficult to prove and it would take many years to recover - not a good position for you to be in.

That is why I suggest the Christian method of love and kindness - it is in your best interest and maybe over time they will become good neighbors. Believe me I understand, growing up on a large farm/ranch w ahd a neighbor that would do things like open the pasture gate and let our cows get out and then round them up into his herd and not let us get them. It was not a fun situation but I did learn a lot from how my Dad handled the situation.

Now my brother who is on the farm and this guys son get along fairly well but it has been 30 years. you really have no other choice except to move.

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Interesting

 

[Robert_in_NY]

That is some wild colors on that building, you may want to install a privacy fence, on your new found property.:laughing::laughing::laughing:

I know your joking but that would be way too much work for what its worth. I considered putting up a wire fence line if things ever become an issue but I am hoping it doesn't come to that. I did find that a good portion of their old fence is actually on our property and is most likley going to be removed since it is no longer connected to anything. When I get to that section clearing the brush away anything on my side is gone.

 

[sixdogs]

I keep telling you guys to get a copy of the book "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. It helps you learn how to predict who is psycho, who is not and how to figure it out in advance or to extracate afterwards. It's at the library. It's SOP for detectives and helped me in a tenant issue.
Once you open the book you won't put it down. On EBAY for a few dollars too.

https://www.gavindebecker.com/resources/book/the_gift_of_fear/

 

[IslandTractor]

"Madame, your husband is a liar, an cannot be trusted. If you wish to counter that he is truthful, but a coward, I will hear your remarks."

Agree wholeheartedly. Best to counter blowhards with firm but sarcastically polite language.