I am the dumbest human on TBN. Trust me.

theboman · May 6, 2005

Ah, we have some goofy ones here but I have the honor of being dumber than a bag of hammers.
Once upon a time I drove a 71 VW Super Bettle, great critter. Durning the summer the thing started to stink, it was horrible and nearly impossible to drive because of the smell.
I crawled all under it and didn't find not dead critters, manure, etc. This went on a couple days and wasn't getting any better.
My brother can fix anything, so I took it to him. He nosed around and found out it's coming from the front. Pops the trunk and takes out an old blanket that was used as insulation during the winter.... No help at all.
He then knocked the lid off the foam cooler that had a tub of chicken livers I'd fished with over the weekend.....
We nearly fainted on the smell.

beowulf · May 6, 2005

If anyone needs to know how to bend a PHD auger, I can help. What you do is you first dig the hole and then you drive off without lifting the auger out of the hole. It works more efficiently if the ground is not wet.

_RaT_ · May 6, 2005

OK, I'll trust you, but you need to trust me, you are not the dumbest, trust me! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

have_blue · May 6, 2005

( Fixed it today and MUCH better. But doesn't ease the pain of being the Big Donkey Head on TBN. )

But you're so happy that it works better that you don't even care! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

have_blue · May 6, 2005

( I am the dumbest human on TBN. Trust me. 

Guess I better grab a brew and try to figure out what I am...since obviously I am dumber than you, but also on TBN, and since you claim to be the dumbest human... )

You can always follow my example and call yourself "beyond dumb" /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Dachshund · May 6, 2005

Worked for the state of Kansas at one time (Civil engineering for the Dept of Trans) - Two of us were at the shop early on Monday morning - only to find the keys locked inside the old Dodge pickup we were to take to the project. Both of us grabbed a marker flag and proceded to work at the locks. We both "popped" our doors open at the same time. Dan (the other guy) looks right at me and says: "That worked pretty slick, I think I'll keep it right behind the seat incase this happens again!" Took a bit for it to sink in, but he finally came to his senses ......

Laminarman · May 6, 2005

Beowolf

I just peed myself after reading your post. Thanks for making me feel a little smarter!!

Alan L. · May 7, 2005

The story about the rolling truck just reminded me of something else I did that was pretty stupid. A LONG time ago when I used to partake of alcholic beverages, me and a friend went to the beer store in my old Honda station wagon. We went in and each got a case of beer.

When we got outside I couldnt' find the car. Looked everywhere and finally a guy says, "You guys looking for an orange Honda?" I says yea, and he points over about 40 yards away in the ditch and there's my car with the headlights pointing almost straight up!

When I pulled in to the beer store I apparently left it in neutral and didn't set the brake. While we were in the store, the car rolled backwards, curved right into the 2-lane highway of 55 mph traffic, went across the road and then back across again until it came to rest backward in the ditch on the original side of the road.

My friend started acting like he wasn't with me /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif.

Fortunately there was a guy with a big Blazer with wench on it that pulled it out. No damage done, we got in it and headed home.....

EddieWalker · May 7, 2005

Alan,

You reminded me of a client I had in CA. She bought a brand new Honda just before Christmas. She went to the mall shopping with it, and when she came out, it was gone.

She called the police, filled out a report and filed for insurance. She only had the car for a month.

A couple weeks later she gets a call from security at the mall. They said her car had been sitting in the parking lot for several weeks and if she didn't come pick it up, they were going to tow it.

Turns out she forgot where she parked it, and it was sitting there there whole time. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

burnetma · May 7, 2005

Similar story. Just got home from a superbowl party the night before. Decided I needed some gatorade from the store. Came out and could not find my COMPANY CAR anywhere. I called my boss and the state police who gladly filed the report. The kind and sympathetic trooper took me home where we found my COMPANY CAR sitting in the driveway, but my truck was missing... /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif The trooper looked at me and said "do you want to file a report on a missing Ford Truck or do you want me to take you back to the store? Oh yeah, I will leave it up to you to explain this to your boss." /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

By the way, the state trooper was my neighbor...

No escape from ridicule at work or at home. My blonde girlfriend had a few jabs to add in over the years also.