I lost it again...... aliens took it away

   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #11  
Gloves, lost gloves.

Since the first 10 or 20 pair vaporized. I taken to ALWAYS placing the removed gloves in the same spot. Even if it's not convenient to where I happen to be when removing the gloves. In this house, I walk over to the box on the little garage fridge and drop my hat and gloves in the box. I guess the fridge must make terrifying emissions, as the aliens have stopped swiping my gloves. They even wear out and have to be replaced now and then.
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #12  
I am sure age doesn't have anything to do with it, but I have noticed that the older I get the more the aliens visit. I won't bother tellin you about the chain, hammers, grease gun, etc. they have taken from me. But I will tell you about the stuff they have left for me, in the road. While hauling hay back a long lane to my neighbors barn I found 2 pipe wrenches, a 16" and a 10". He is the only one that lives back there and said they were not his wrenches. Between my house and town, one day I found a nice 4' crow bar, another day I found a huge home made sledge hammer with a steel handle, I'm beginnning to think someone threw that out because it is too heavy to swing more than a couple of times. One day as I was turning on to the main road into town I spotted a wrench laying in the middle of the road. I had to pull past the entrance to the Ford Dealer and a gas station before I could stop. Found 2 more wrenches on the way back to the one I spotted, all 3 were Craftsman wrenches. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #13  
I have a chain somewhere in the yard, lost it a few months ago...
I'm mowed my grass a few times this year and I still haven't found it. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #14  
I can't believe none of you knows this....you must not talk with your wives often enough. All these things you mention are attributable to the most irascible, most ingenious, yeah, the most devious of......the SOCK PEOPLE. Most sock people are quite content to go through their miserable little lives stealing the occasional single sock. Some even aspire to a dish towel now and then. But there are those sock people who simply crave metal and grease.....among their own kind they are derisively called "GearFeet" in a an effort to mock them for what they are attracted to and what they SHOULD be attracted to (i.e., socks, things of the feet). These so-called GearFeet will take anything associated with equipment, metal work, machinery, etc. They are rumored to possess the world's largest collection of 1/2" wrenches, as well as an incredible collection of nuts WITHOUT matching bolts (here there commonality with all sock people sticks out.....they just do not like matching items). They are by nature creatures of incredible speed and camoflage ability, and whatever they steal is immediately invisible due to these factors.

I used to try sacrificing a certan amount of hardware and at least one old tool each time I went to the shop. I just tossed them to the gravel outside, hoping to keep these most perverted of the sock people occupied. But it was never enough. Never. The darn things are incredibly greedy. Now I simply accept these losses as an unavoidable part of life. And yes, these fiendish creatures do prey more and more on us as we age. Someday......someday, someone will find a way to stop them. Until then....we just have to get used to working with one less tool while wearing one sock (or a mismatched pair when it gets cold).
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #15  
The pin from my ROPS is somewhere in the universe, about 5" long and 1" in diameter. I lost lots of other stuff too, but- at my age, I can't remember what the heck they are. I know they're missing tho!!!
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #16  
Mike, what kind of gremlin is it that removes the hair from your head-then transplants it in your nose, ears, and on your back? The suckers been at my place!!!
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away
  • Thread Starter
#17  
<font color="blue"> Mike, what kind of gremlin is it that removes the hair from your head-then transplants it in your nose, ears, and on your back? The suckers been at my place!!! </font>

Bill for just those reasons alone that's how I know for sure that the man upstairs really does have a sense of humor.
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #18  
When the aliens take things from me, they always put them where my wife can find them. She will always promptly return the stolen items to me while demanding an explaination of "How on earth did that thing get where I found it?" /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #19  
The Law of Even Numbers:

You will always have an even number of a tool you need -- zero being an even number.

This law applies especially to side cutters and nail trimmers.
 
   / I lost it again...... aliens took it away #20  
I can never find a pencil when I need one. So I thought that I would outsmart myself by buying a box of 24 pencils and then I would never have to look for a pencil because I would eventually distribute them throughout the house and the garage as I used them so that there would be one everywhere that I go.

My box does not have any more pencils in it and I can't find a pencil around here anywhere!!!
 

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