I'm an unnamed local celebrity!

[Bird]

Re: I\'m an unnamed local celebrity!

</font><font color="blue" class="small">( Every play.. each and every down.. try to knock your opponent in the next county.. see blood... go at him harder... see a weakness such as a bad knee.. exploit it unmercifully )</font>

Sounds a bit sadistic to me. As a cop for many years, I had ample opportunities to legally hurt, and even kill, some people, but I never shot anyone, never used a nightstick or billy club, etc. I was a "high activity" officer; wrote lots of traffic citations and put lots of criminals in jail, but saw no need to inflict physical pain on anyone. I've known officers who enjoyed fighting and hurting other people, and with no exception I can think of, they were all football fans and had been football players in school.

Another story in the Dallas Morning News today about the steroid use among the football players. The kid whose mother first reported the use has transferred to another school because of the threats from other football players. The coach first denied steroids were being used and called that mother "crazy" and a "liar". He's since publicly apologized after 9 players admitted it. Real nice people. Of course, now the coach is reported to have the names of others, but refuses to disclose them.

Robert, we all base our opinions on our own experiences, and there are exceptions to every rule, I guess, but I've seen nothing good come from football. Many years ago, I met a lot of the Dallas Cowboys (none of the current ones), some when I worked games, some in their homes, some on the streets, and a sorrier bunch overall (with some exceptions, of course), I've never met.

And admittedly, I (and my brothers) never played football because we had to work before and after school; no time for such "extra curricular" games. Our school had a very popular, and winning, football team and I don't know what eventually happened to all the players, but the "star" players I know of, from my graduating class, have been in jail for murder, DWI, been divorced, some multiple times, work at menial jobs, but fondly remember their glory days in high school. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif I can't see that football, and all our tax dollars, did them much good.

 

[alan40]

Re: I\'m an unnamed local celebrity!

I'm glad you put in the post Ibrahim and it was great. My son Warren takes TKD and has since he was 4. He's now 8 and is getting ready for his red belt. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif He has improved his coordnation and his confidence is great. Anything that teachs courtesy, integrity,perseverance,self control and indomitalble spirit is fine with me. The student oath is also great. We are lucky to have a 6th dan that teach's most of the time and believes in every person that comes into his Do-Jang.
Have a great day.

 

[wroughtn_harv]

Re: I\'m an unnamed local celebrity!

I have to agree with you Bird on this one. I worked on Dragon Stadium. It's unbelievable that a high school would have a nicer and more luxurious football stadium than just about any junior college and some universities.

When my son was eight we got a letter from the school explaining he had a self image problem. I could understand that. Having a type A personality father is tough on the kids.

After some thinking about it I came up with a couple of things. One was our self image is developed by the image of us we see in other's eyes. Their opinion of us decides our opinion of ourselves.

So even though my son was small for his age and not aggressive by nature I got him in BMX racing. I got a lot of positive feedback from motorsports and hoped he'd find some there too.

He did well. He ended up with trophies taller than he was. And I'd like to think his image of himself was altered by the respect he got from his peers.

But the real lessons were learned by me. The biggest one is the biggest problem with organized sports is the parents. They want to relive their lives through their children. And, the worst of those are mothers.

We had a five year old in our chapter that was physically and mentally gifted as a competitor. He was larger and stronger than anyone within a year or two of him. And more importantly, he had that extra appreciation for winning that most human beings don't. He was literally unbeatable.

We also had a five year old that would have been number one in any other chapter. He was good, very very good. He just wasn't in the same physical and mental category as the other boy.

And he had a mother from hades. Invariably he'd place second to the talented boy. And invariably we'd see him shamed by his mother in public. It was heart breaking to watch.

I watched a boy with an obviously broken wrist sit in pain with the wrist iced down because his mother wouldn't take him to the doctor until after his brother had raced his race.

I also learned it wasn't just the big kids you had to watch carefully for riding dirty. That some of the five and six year olds had been schooled by their parents in how to kick out in a turn and take out a competitor.

Probably the most important thing I learned though was about myself and my son. I've always been one to become wider when I got the lead. To sense when someone was coming up and instinctively block if that was all I had to keep the lead.

My son would sense them coming and move over to give them racing room. At first of course I saw that as a character flaw. Then I learned that it wasn't a flaw at all. The flaw was in the character of the person who only saw life as winning and second as the first loser.

I learned to appreciate work from my father. I learned to appreciate process over product from my son. It's hard to decide which lesson is the most important in the big picture of things. I love winning, it's a real high. But, sometimes the winning is in the doing, not just in the finish order.

 

[getut]

Re: I\'m an unnamed local celebrity!

Bird and Harv,

After all that has been said, it may come as a surprise that I agree 100% with what both of you have said.

The examples that bird gave are truthful and represent the bad side of football. Life is full of lessons, and so is football. Where the people in birds examples went wrong is they only learned 1/2 of the story. As I said with the "pecking order", a child has to learn both victory AND defeat. Defeat, if handled properly and guided by loving parents, breeds humility, as well as the desire to not experience defeat too often (a drive for success). Extremely gifted children sports wise often do end up EXACTLY as Bird said. I have already said that a troubled defeat often teaches MUCH more than blind success. They were not balanced and had either very seldom experienced defeat in their young lives, or were not coached to handle it in a humane way if they did. They INCORRECTLY learned that a win should come at ALL costs, no matter how it is achieved. They don't succeed in real life with that attitude.

The lessons in life for football are good if BOTH sides of the coin are experienced and developed, and are often very bad if one sided. Focusing controlled aggression when the time is <font color="red"> appropriate</font> (i.e. on the football field), teaching them to pull back and control that aggression off the field. Teach them that a win is something to be sought after.. it is NOT trivial, but teach them to accept defeat with humility as well as at the same time to NOT like it. This is what a well rounded person learns in life.