Is your initial impression of someone usually correct?

[jaotguy]

in my "earlier" days, my ratio was 50 / 50 ...in my later years it is now 95 / 5 ( or better ) ... guess that is now called "wisdom"? ...

you hear certain words now, and that feeling starts ...
tats / haircut / clothes all tell tales , but as soon as they open their mouths and gesture, that's when you have them nailed ....

that 5 % , the ones that sneak by, are older too and have learned to hide their true selves ....
you know , career politicians / used car salesmen / all those that make their living at it....


the other old adage " trust your feelings" ( gut) also rings true today.

 

[Gary Fowler]

I gave the couple a very detailed summary:



Bad points: Roof due for replacement in 10 years, windows only fair quality, lots of exterior wood to maintain, needs new gutters, and a REAL negative...horrible floor plan...a mid-70's 2 story that someone added a huge family room on a slab to, then a garage, then a sun porch, and the kitchen was 100% original and like a cave.

With all this, why did they even want it? Question did they buy it (assuming they could get financing if the guy showed up at my finance office looking like that, I would have rejected him outright)

 

[Gary Fowler]

Some old words that still ring true..."don't judge a book by it's cover"

A bad cover and bad reviews by others is a pretty good indication of a bad book or movie but I still will read a few pages to form my own opinion. Many times bad reviews by some folks will mean GOOD to me, it all depends on the viewer's taste. Some folks like slouchy appearance and bad manners and will call it character. If I have relatives of a person giving reviews I pretty much ignore them and form my own opinion without prejudice unless I know the relative well and trust their opinion. My wife is the best person I have ever found at quickly judging folks and is almost 100% correct. IF she tells me she doesn't like someone, they always turn out to be a bad person of some fault.

 

[ncnurseryman]

I agree with jdgreen. You can tell a lot by first impressions followed by the next few minutes. Today many people just don't have basic courtesy skill or even care. I always tell my son, trust your instincts and listen to your inner red flags. Most of the time you are not sorry.

 

[JDgreen227]

With all this, why did they even want it? Question did they buy it (assuming they could get financing if the guy showed up at my finance office looking like that, I would have rejected him outright)

The couple wanted a big home in a decent area close by their worksites...something they could actually AFFORD at ages 28...because the house I looked at was so cobbled together the price was affordable to them. Compared to the home I lived in at age 28, the one they wanted me to look at is a mansion.

 

[toppop52]

I've been a survivor, the ability to recognize a bad person/situation quickly has enhanced that. If the situation is safe, I'll give benefit of doubt for a short time, they usually prove my instincts fairly quickly.

 

[murphy1244]

One of the Best hires I did was a Biker with Tats and long hair. Very Polite and hands of stone. I could tell he worked for a living and my customers loved him.

 

[dmccarty]

I learned along time ago to trust my instincts/first impressions.

Hair cut, tats, clothes and such are not really part of the impressions. Body language, words and actions are what count and it does not take long for this to register. I know a bunch of people who if you see them in one setting look rather average and not note worthy at all. However, many of them are very much note worthy but you can't tell from how they look or dress. Some even have tats. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

I don't like to shake hands. If that offends some people, oh well. I don't know where their hands have been and I really don't want to shake someone's hand after he shook his talley wacker and walked out of the bathroom. When I lived in South FLA, I noticed many men would take a whiz and then walk out of the bathroom without washing their hands. :shocked:

One of the most dirtiest places you can put your hands is on the arm rests in a movie theater. The arm rests are supposed to be covered in fecal matter... As well as other stuff.

Later,
Dan

 

[2LaneCruzer]

And for the sake of clarity, lets assume you get to know the person better after your initial meeting. My first impression of someone is mostly based on their appearance and how they conduct themselves, and to me the really important factor is what type of manners they exhibit.

Case in point: Last fall I drove a 100-mile round trip and devoted much of an afternoon to inspecting a house that my GF's daughter was planning to buy with her boyfriend, the purchase was dependent upon my inspection revealing nothing major wrong with the house. Well, the young man showed up fifteen minutes after the time he had asked me to meet him there, he was dressed like a slob, had a goofy haircut and garish tattoos, didn't know how to give a proper handshake, and perhaps worst of all, failed to introduce me to his father who had accompanied him. I offered to give him an idea of what I was looking at in the hopes he might learn something about his potential first home, but no, he was busy yakking on the phone most of the time.

This is REALLY funny...while I was checking over the electrical system, he was going from room to room with a big table lamp, plugging it in to see if the outlets worked....:laughing: if the guy hadn't given me such a lousy first impression, I would have handed him my little outlet tester to use. Later on he told me that he found outlets that did not work, and I told him to show me where...every one he located was switch controlled and I plugged in my outlet tester and flipped the switch....

Well, the guy didn't thank me for my time, nor did he offer to buy me lunch down the road, or whatever. Didn't surprise me, because my first impression of him was that he was a punk and a big time loser....and he has done nothing but reinforce my initial impression every since.

I have usually been reasonably accurate with my initial impression of people, I think it's something you gain experience with over time.

Any comments? Thanks.

I put a lot of stock in my first impressions; especially as they relate to character, morals, etc. I have had some notable failures with my assessment of personalities though. I have three good friends in the world; the first I grew up with, so that's a given. The second I met at the University...he was from New Jersey, and I thought he was a snake oil salesman...too out going and loud. Turns out he is a man of honesty, integrity and loyalty and a friend of nearly 40 years. He is now a district judge.

The third I met at work; my first impression was that he was a slow witted bumpkin with no skills. Turns out he had a Masters in Environmental Science with a mind and memory like no one I have ever met. He can inspect a refinery for air quality compliance, overhaul a Chevy big block, build a house from the ground up, put 1000 bales of hay in the barn, run a family farm, lift a Volkswagen, whip his weight in wildcats, noodle catfish and cook a gourmet dinner. He would do anything for me and I for him.

I also find that after all these years, my first impressions are pretty accurate. Life is too short to waste on losers.

 

[/pine]

A bad cover and bad reviews by others is a pretty good indication of a bad book or movie but I still will read a few pages to form my own opinion. Many times bad reviews by some folks will mean GOOD to me, it all depends on the viewer's taste. Some folks like slouchy appearance and bad manners and will call it character. If I have relatives of a person giving reviews I pretty much ignore them and form my own opinion without prejudice unless I know the relative well and trust their opinion. My wife is the best person I have ever found at quickly judging folks and is almost 100% correct. IF she tells me she doesn't like someone, they always turn out to be a bad person of some fault.

Actually the quote is not meant to be taken to heart but it does work that way too...However reading reviews etc... is like getting a second or third opinion and that is not really a first impression...

For me it's not about looks, dress hair etc...it about how a person "comes across"...call it feeling the vibes or whatever...some consider it a form of reading auras if you believe in that sort of thing...

A couple more quotes that sort of apply to the topic...

"wolves in sheep's clothes" and " a leopard can't change his spots"