Kids and Cell Phones

Bikewanderer · Sep 6, 2019

My wife and I are on the same page here with this issue. We have fie kids, aged 6-14. I have no plans to buy them a cell, have always thought that it stunts their growth at an early age because it makes things too easy for them to figure out on their own (we are not helicopter parents). I also do not approve of group texts and the bullying and image issues that come from these group snapchats and the like.

So....now that my oldest is 14 I am realizing that my kids are the only kids at school without cell phones. This wouldn't be an issue, except it is beginning to seem like a prerequisite for doing activities. The assumption is that all kids have cell phones and can call parents to pick them up when they are ready to go. This is a problem because they can't seem to be ready at the same time every day. I'm not sure when this changed, but it seems every practice is just over whenever the coach feels like it should be over, and we have no ability to predict anything. It's been horribly disruptive, and I haven't been traveling for work yet since school started. I'm not even sure what we will do afterwards. My daughters practice is supposed to be over at six. The coach even told me it was pretty consistent....hasn't been that time one day this week. 4:30 yesterday but she was done at 4:10, 4PM today changed from 5PM. I can't figure out how other people are doing this, I work from home 50% of the time.

Sometimes it's the same problem, they get kept late with no notice. I'm sitting in the car in the parking lot and they get out 30-45 minutes late. I've had to go get her and make her leave practice because her ride needed to be somewhere else and we already made plans.

I've talked to other parents and it seems I'm the only one with this issue. Have you guys had the same issue with kids?

Sigarms · Sep 6, 2019

Good luck Charlie.

Both my boys are 14. We got them cells phones when they both turned 14. Personally, worst thing I think we've done was get them a "smart phone" and not a flip phone. Your boys will know more about cell phones after they have them for a week than you will ever know about them.

Heck, these kids get dummy cell phones that they can use and you may not even know about it. Found out about that when I ended up destroying one (the boy who owned it didnt want his parents to know I had it because I was going to return it to the school where the parents could pick it up). My boy didn't tell me whose phone it was, so it got destroyed.

Roadworthy · Sep 6, 2019

If practice is supposed to end at 5:00 pick the kid up at 5:00. There's no reason you should be penalized because the coach can't plan. The coach will figure it out eventually. Is the coach's time so much more valuable than yours that you can cool your heels for a half hour or better because plans changed with no notice? Who's the parent here? My girl didn't get a cell phone until she was in high school and she still doesn't have data - just talk and text.

buckeyefarmer · Sep 6, 2019

Mine got their first cell phone either late HS or college. They survived HS fine, even with sports.

Big Barn · Sep 6, 2019

Your kids will be the way you brought them up to be by leading by example.

The smart phone can be a very useful tool with proper instruction and guidance. Not having a smart phone isn’t going to protect your child from the evils of the world.

Bikewanderer · Sep 6, 2019

I’m not really thinking about trying to keep them from danger as much as I want them to work through the process of solving their own needs without using technology or depending on parents to do it for them.

Steppenwolfe · Sep 6, 2019

dirtyoldman said:
My wife and I are on the same page here with this issue. We have fie kids, aged 6-14. I have no plans to buy them a cell, have always thought that it stunts their growth at an early age because it makes things too easy for them to figure out on their own (we are not helicopter parents). I also do not approve of group texts and the bullying and image issues that come from these group snapchats and the like.

So....now that my oldest is 14 I am realizing that my kids are the only kids at school without cell phones. This wouldn't be an issue, except it is beginning to seem like a prerequisite for doing activities. The assumption is that all kids have cell phones and can call parents to pick them up when they are ready to go. This is a problem because they can't seem to be ready at the same time every day. I'm not sure when this changed, but it seems every practice is just over whenever the coach feels like it should be over, and we have no ability to predict anything. It's been horribly disruptive, and I haven't been traveling for work yet since school started. I'm not even sure what we will do afterwards. My daughters practice is supposed to be over at six. The coach even told me it was pretty consistent....hasn't been that time one day this week. 4:30 yesterday but she was done at 4:10, 4PM today changed from 5PM. I can't figure out how other people are doing this, I work from home 50% of the time.

Sometimes it's the same problem, they get kept late with no notice. I'm sitting in the car in the parking lot and they get out 30-45 minutes late. I've had to go get her and make her leave practice because her ride needed to be somewhere else and we already made plans.

I've talked to other parents and it seems I'm the only one with this issue. Have you guys had the same issue with kids?

It's a new world... Surrender and move on if you want to keep your sanity.

atsah · Sep 6, 2019

That's a tough one.. I don't have kids but if I did I wouldn't want them to live on thing like I see most other kids doing.. There has to be a way to make them use it for certain things, texting and texting pictures all day and facebooking, twittering, it's insane IMO.. I'm glad I grew up in a time when there was none that's all I can say..

I have an Iphone that I use for making phone calls and a text now and again, that's about it, it's not attached to my hand all day like it is other people that just have to tell everyone what they are doing every waking moment of everyday..

hawkeye08 · Sep 6, 2019

Tough choice regarding cell phones, but regarding practice times, follow the schedule, have a chat with coach.

Bikewanderer · Sep 7, 2019

I already have. I’m not really sure what the deal is here. Maybe parents have been going to coaches for years with all kinds of criticisms and they have learned to just shed these things off and continue. Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but it’s like all the coaches think they are training elite athletes and that extra half hour of practice is the difference in winning the PGA tour. I don’t mean to minimize what they are doing, and I’ve never coached in my life, but if that half hour is that important build it into the schedule! I know when I was in high school practices were done at a defined time every day. Nobody could just call parents and tell them they are ready to be picked up, a habit I really resent. I live all day a slave to my cell phone and now I need to sit there and wait for it to ring. I know she’ll be driving in a year or two, maybe I just need to suck it up and deal with it for a little while.