Kids and Cell Phones

3930dave · Sep 7, 2019

Modern tech has messed up a lot of "social" interactions, I'm with you there. Avoiding it can have consequences too. If most of the other local parents aren't having the same issue, they've either succumbed to the dark-side, or you have a coach that is deficient at scheduling.

As I've gotten older, I find that I have even less time/energy available to try and convince people to act appropriately. IF I was going to talk to that coach, I'd probably lead with a question like "How would you handle a kid that is often late for Practice", and joust from there....

I've always been drawn to minimalist hardware, that does one or two things well. What caught my eye a while ago, is Garmin's In Reach line.

As a gps, I prefer Garmin's platform to "free" Google Maps. What In Reach adds is texting, running off the Iridium satellite network. Out in left-field for many people, but for outdoor-oriented folk it's a lower cost/more portable version of a Sat phone. Looks like they send co-ordinates with every text message - great for the intended market, might not sell well to teenagers though :laughing:.

Rgds, D.

kcflhrc · Sep 7, 2019

Why in the world wouldn't you want your children to use and embrace technology? In my business if you did that you would be in the bread lines.

joefromga · Sep 7, 2019

Your kids coaches are irresponsible. You can fix that by picking up the kids when the practice is stated to end. No exceptions. Are you the parent or is the coach? Simple.

With phones you can allow kids to have a phone at 13 or 14. There are all sorts of apps and controls that allow you to dictate what they can see and websites they can access and times when phones are active. All the carriers have these plus there are other parent apps.

Establish rules when they first get the phone. Times, amount of usage, and what they aren't allowed to do. The first rule is when you say give me your phone they hand it over. That will keep most of their stuff pretty clean.

Sadly **** is rampant on phones and if you have girls there will be boys doing whatever they can to get them to send photos. Your rules need to state no photos of certain nature ever, no exceptions. If you have boys they will eventually find the inevitable sites but mostly you can limit that stuff but physically checking their phones for the sites and photos is the best way. Once they're 16+ just forget it.

Also check for hidden photo apps. Great for adults who wants secret pics of their spouses but not for kids. I think you can even restrict access to downloading apps where they need permissions from you each time they try to install something.

GPS apps are great too. You don't need to pay for the carriers apps, there are plenty you can get and the "rule" is if the kids turn off GPS access, don't answer immediately, or call you when told, they lose their phone. The GPS locator apps allow you to always know where the kid is at any time and their history. As kids get older you may not worry so much but 14 is still quite vulnerable.

Your kid will accept the rules and their friends also have rules too and they know that they are limited.

Kids who have phones are addicted to them and they will follow rules to keep them.

I wish carriers would develop better kid proof OS for phones. They could make even more money.

oosik · Sep 7, 2019

My son got his first cell phone when HE could afford the monthly bill. I got all the way thru my Masters Degree in college without a cell phone.

I see parents buying Apple iPhone XR for their kindergarten kids. It's so - "the kids can call us in an emergency". A kindergarten kid carrying around a cell phone that can cost up to $900 is an "emergency" in the making.

Don't parents understand what easy pickings a kindergarten kid and his uber expensive cell phone is.

Keeping up with the Jones's is such an old tired saw............

RNeumann · Sep 7, 2019

It’s ironic that the OP is posting on the internet for suggestions about limiting kid’s internet availability. I’m sure parents were having similar discussions with regards to cars about 100 years ago.

In matters of style, swim with the current. We in matters of principle stand like a rock.

If this is a matter of principle you and your wife need to define what the issue is. Is it simply the device or the device use? If it’s the use then your goal would be to teach and guide how to use the phone.....with limitations. As an example. 6 months of phone and simple text only (your carrier can set the phone up this way). Then maybe increase features and access as they demonstrate responsibility. If you want to limit the time on the phone on hours when they are on the phone you can set that up too.

If this is a matter of principle then I would see two things. One, you and your wife would also give up the devices. “Children, we as a family believe that cell phones cause far more harm than do good and we don’t use them”. Or you provide a clear path that everyone lives by. “Children, at age 14, when you demonstrate responsibility by going X,Y and Z We will get you a phone. You will need to earn the funds to keep the phone service current etc, etc. We will have anytime access to the phone and if we find X, Y or Z on the phone we will take the phone away.”

Much like cars of 100 years ago, the phone has become a near need. A lot of jobs require it and it has become a social norm. But with its tremendous power comes tremendous responsibility. It’s your job to coach the kids through this.....cuz in a few hours it’s happening, without limits or rules, ready or not!

atsah · Sep 7, 2019

joefromga said:
Your kids coaches are irresponsible. You can fix that by picking up the kids when the practice is stated to end. No exceptions. Are you the parent or is the coach? Simple.

With phones you can allow kids to have a phone at 13 or 14. There are all sorts of apps and controls that allow you to dictate what they can see and websites they can access and times when phones are active. All the carriers have these plus there are other parent apps.

Establish rules when they first get the phone. Times, amount of usage, and what they aren't allowed to do. The first rule is when you say give me your phone they hand it over. That will keep most of their stuff pretty clean.

Sadly **** is rampant on phones and if you have girls there will be boys doing whatever they can to get them to send photos. Your rules need to state no photos of certain nature ever, no exceptions. If you have boys they will eventually find the inevitable sites but mostly you can limit that stuff but physically checking their phones for the sites and photos is the best way. Once they're 16+ just forget it.

Also check for hidden photo apps. Great for adults who wants secret pics of their spouses but not for kids. I think you can even restrict access to downloading apps where they need permissions from you each time they try to install something.

GPS apps are great too. You don't need to pay for the carriers apps, there are plenty you can get and the "rule" is if the kids turn off GPS access, don't answer immediately, or call you when told, they lose their phone. The GPS locator apps allow you to always know where the kid is at any time and their history. As kids get older you may not worry so much but 14 is still quite vulnerable.

Your kid will accept the rules and their friends also have rules too and they know that they are limited.

Kids who have phones are addicted to them and they will follow rules to keep them.

I wish carriers would develop better kid proof OS for phones. They could make even more money.

Good post, I didn't know any of that..

Steppenwolfe · Sep 7, 2019

kcflhrc said:
Why in the world wouldn't you want your children to use and embrace technology? In my business if you did that you would be in the bread lines.

Amen... As a business owner my smart phone is worth real money. My office can now go with me anywhere, and frees up my life to do other things. I have literally been out on my tractor, roll into the shade, check emails, make calls, sign a contract, and close a deal. I firmly believe my smart phone allows me to be as successful as I am. At 61 I spent most of my life without one... I would never chose to go backwards.

Big Barn · Sep 7, 2019

kcflhrc said:
Why in the world wouldn't you want your children to use and embrace technology?

My thoughts, also.

2LaneCruzer · Sep 7, 2019

My brother got his grand daughter a cell phone a while back, and he told me the first bill on her phone was $700. I don't know any details, but knowing the brat she is I wouldn't doubt it. He wasn't normally that stupid either.