More Dog Rules

[EdKing]

Things Dogs Must Try To Remember...

I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the other dog's food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

I will not eat any more fuzzies and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.

 

[AndyR]

<font color=blue>I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration</font color=blue>

Good one! Did you have first hand experience of this?

 

[EdKing]

<font color=blue>Good one! Did you have first hand experience of this? </font color=blue>

No, but I have had with most of the others.

 

[looch]

<font color=blue>I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet</font color=blue>

/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif It's a rather helpless feeling, isn't it?

 

[Richard]

<font color=blue> It's a rather helpless feeling, isn't it? </font color=blue>

Depends on if it's a St. Bernard or poodle? /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

 

[looch]

Yeah, and whether you're wearing loafers or construction boots.