I tested TDS with it in the loop and out of the loop. I don't remember the exact numbers but the difference was not impressive. Maybe it dropped from 1500 to 1100 or something (made up nunbers, for example). It didn't change the smell. It didn't change the feel of the water while showering. There was still black sediment in the water. The only tangible difference between in loop and out of loop was the water pressure. With it in the loop there was way less pressure.
Despite Apparently not doing anything whatsoever, it did still eat salt. So there was chore I was doing, and this expense I was paying every few weeks that after a while I could not convince myself was worth the time or money.
Maybe the softener simply wasn't working and I wrote off a whole technology when I should have actually gotten professional help. I just decided water softeners are dumb without much data.
Well, I wouldn't write off the whole technology. It makes a big difference for a bunch of us.
A water softener takes water coming in with magnesium and calcium, the "bad" ions that make water "hard", possibly a little iron and swaps those particular ions with sodium from the salt that goes into the water softener, so net-net, the TDS stays about the same, but the water is now "soft". What does change is how much crud comes out in a water heater, or as water stains in sinks, tubs, and toilets. Sodium salts wash away easily, unlike calcium or magnesium salts. Soap doesn't scum up as much, etc.
The smell is likely hydrogen sulfide, probably from sulfates in your water. As I wrote above, if you only have small amounts sulfate in your water, there are water softener resins that can remove a little of it, along with the magnesium and calcium. If your well water smells of hydrogen sulfide, you may need an aerator in line to remove it. The good news is that an aerator doesn't need much of any maintenance.
What kind of prefilter? Does it backwash? That is one of the issues I have with the solutions that have been quoted to me by local well guys. I already have a filter. I have it bypassed just like the softener because it fully clogs in under a week. 4-6 days and it's done. $40 to replace and it's a pain. That is not right. That is not the right kind of filter. They tell me based on my water test results that's all I need, or a larger version of it. Well that makes me question the water test results. Can they be different at different times of the year? Is it seasonal? Maybe it's in a permanent state of random flux? IMO the system should be spec'd based on the worst case, and the samples they took, obviously aren't worst case. I do not want to pay for a 1:1 replacement of what I have, just to be equally unsatisfied with it.
Anyways sorry I ranted there but I think that the first filter in the system should be a backwashing filter. AUTO backwashing preferred. Because if I'm replacing the 16" filters every 5 days then I'll be replacing the 36" ones every what... 12 days? And they're telling me "nah they should last months" - respectfully, no way in hell.
With all due respect to "they"...I agree with you that replacing a small disposable filter with a bigger one just gets you a bigger filter charge half as frequently. Filters clog by area, i.e. length, for the same diameter, so if your 10" filters are clogging in 5 days, then a 20" filter is going to clog in ten days, for the same pore size (micron) and type of filter.
Knowing exactly what is in your water would help on the softener resin choice, and the filtration choices.
Yes, our sediment filter looks like a water softener, but it is filled with a very fine mineral that works really well at trapping sediments. Every couple of days, it runs a backwash cycle, so yes, auto backwashing. We have a tank, or tanks, on the house side of the filter that have enough stored clean water to backwash the filter for the whole cycle. That is not absolutely required, so if you don't have it, don't worry.
I'm not a fan of the sediment filters that use disposable media, though I do use them on our RO unit. To your TDS analogy above, unlike a water softener that just swaps "bad" ions for "good" ones, an RO system does lower the overall TDS, typically on the order of a hundred fold, but the exact amount depends on the exact details of what is in your water, which particular kind of membrane you have, and things like what the water temperature is. So, a softened water input of, say 1100TDS might drop 11-20TDS, which should get the taste to something reasonable, again that depends somewhat on the water analysis. Running an RO with unsoftened ("hard") well water would clog / foul the RO membrane permanently pretty quickly.
There are continuously self cleaning filters, but they are like hen's teeth for residential size filters and priced to match in my experience, but that may have changed since I last looked. They are usually used for really sediment laden water l8ke stream or lake water. In between, there are screen type sediment filters with a drain valve that can be put on a timer, and those aren't exactly fully backwashing, but debris does tend to get swept off the screen to the drain. (So, perhaps not perfect, but good enough for many uses, especially if there is a storage tank on the house side that will actually push sediment off the screen during the backwashing. We use something similar on our drip irrigation.)
Since you have plumbing that is failing, that, to me at least, is a "Do not pass Go, do not collect $200" repair now item, as small water leaks have the potential for big bills. After that, I would get an auto backwashing sediment filter of some variety, and then I would see about getting the water softener working. If you are a DIY type, I would start by running a phosphoric acid cleaner through it, and then add a 1/4C of citric acid/bag of softener salt to keep the iron out. Otherwise, I would try to find some good independent water softener dealer, preferably one associated with a well driller, as they tend to have professionals on deck, who will do more than try to sell you their gold plated "Megatherium" model. (Do you know who drilled your well? (Does your neighbor of the trashed lawn?) They may have records, and might be a starting point.)
Finally, your well is probably in a sand aquifer, and should have had a sand screen installed on the pump. Those screens do wear out over time, allowing sand through the pump and up. Besides sand in the pipes, the sand is more or less sand blasting your pump, which will cause it to fail. You have enough other things going on that I would not rush to thinking that was the case, but I might file it away for the future.
Sorry for the long post.
All the best,
Peter
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