neighbors

[NorTracNY]

This thread has me wondering. I agree that this appears to be the brain failing. I'm one that can easily dismiss getting yelled at and treated badly when I know I'm in the right. There have been several times that I've had someone yell at me and I let them finish. I then have firmly and calmly tell them the way it is or will be. This has always worked for me. The person has always backed down and we've been able to continue having a normal relationship. I had one person at work do go off and after I calmly let them know they would never be speaking to me again like that and how they were wrong, we actually were friendly to each other. Here's my question though... I've never had this with an old person with deteriorating mental issues. Has anyone taken this approach (make it clear they will not be allowed to walk all over you) and has it worked?

 

[fried1765]

This thread has me wondering. I agree that this appears to be the brain failing. I'm one that can easily dismiss getting yelled at and treated badly when I know I'm in the right. There have been several times that I've had someone yell at me and I let them finish. I then have firmly and calmly tell them the way it is or will be. This has always worked for me. The person has always backed down and we've been able to continue having a normal relationship. I had one person at work do go off and after I calmly let them know they would never be speaking to me again like that and how they were wrong, we actually were friendly to each other. Here's my question though... I've never had this with an old person with deteriorating mental issues. Has anyone taken this approach (make it clear they will not be allowed to walk all over you) and has it worked?

You are trying to understand this situation in a rational manner.
People with dementia do not understand, and/or have rational thoughts.
It is frustrating, and a waste of your time, to attempt to correct their actions/thoughts.
The wisest course of action, is to ignore whatever they say or do that frustrates you.
They cannot help themselves,..... and you cannot fix their situation for them.

I think I completely understand the issue.
My mother suffered from dementia for years.
It was very frustrating for me (maybe even worse for her?).

 

[Jstpssng]

^^^^
We went through that with my father. I think that a lot of the time the only reason that he knew something was wrong was the way that people acted/reacted.
He was always independent and couldn't understand when he lost his license... even though he had been in an at-fault accident (thankfully nobody was hurt) and had also left the greenhouse to drive 100 yards home, and ended up in a town 40 miles away, and had to call my mother to find somebody to bring him home.
It's a nasty way to watch somebody leave you... they are there but they aren't. I also need to face that if it's genetic I am at risk...

 

[Dftodd]

My bet would be dementia as well. We lost my grandfather to it a couple years ago. It's a really hard process to watch someone go from being larger then life to the mental capacity of a 2 year old.

Looking back at what we went through with my grandfather, from him playing roulette with his meds, to issues getting dressed. I've taken an active approach with my wife to implement things now while we have marbles so our kids hopefully won't have some of the issues and arguments with us.

 

[thatguy]

A 14 acre field went up for sale adjacent to our property, and we bought it, just to avoid having neighbors. It wasn't close to our house, but it was next to an area where I regularly ride horses, and I didn't want to potentially deal with quad runners zipping up and down the tree line.

My nephew thought that was hilarious. He said, "So you didn't even want it. You just wanted to make sure nobody else could have it!"

best think you can do.. We did the same thing when a lot came up for sale beside us.. We bought it to a 200' buffer before the next lot...Fast forward 10 yrs and a lot across the street sold and the buying is putting a hideous house on it.. A neighbor came over this afternoon and dug 30 2' deep holes so I can plant trees to block our view of the house going up..

b

 

[Molalla1]

I would be willing to bet that she has reached the onset of Dementia.
Not anything you can do about that, except just steer clear of her.
I am 79, and see it all around me.
It does concern me, as my mother went that route.

76 here . . . I have only 2 people left from my mothers side aunt and uncle . . . brother and sister, both into their 90's . . . both still have their faculties (mental) :thumbsup:

You are trying to understand this situation in a rational manner.
People with dementia do not understand, and/or have rational thoughts.
It is frustrating, and a waste of your time, to attempt to correct their actions/thoughts.
The wisest course of action, is to ignore whatever they say or do that frustrates you.
They cannot help themselves,..... and you cannot fix their situation for them.

I think I completely understand the issue.
My mother suffered from dementia for years.
It was very frustrating for me (maybe even worse for her?).

I hear you fried . . .