Nutty drivers?? (long)

[Richard]

In the humored spirit of (insert humor here) or Grandma washing your mouth out with soap when you were young (my sister in my case, while my Grandmother was chastising me and I was not looking… phlump, right into my mouth went the soap via my loving sister) /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Anyway…

I bring up the next because at times I’m humored by them, at times I’m annoyed by them and at times I’m GUILTY of some of them.

The following are examples of drivers doing things that to me, make them worthy of having to listen to 10 continuous hours of Tony Orlando & Dawn, or the Captain & Teniel… (if you really don’t like them (the drivers), the Osmonds) /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Anyway

“The Sniffer” This is the driver that no matter WHO is in front of them, nor how fast anyone is going, he is about 6 inches off the rear bumper of the person in front of him, changing lanes incessantly in his race to get nowhere faster than anyone else. Many times cutting off other drivers in his mad dash.

“Blinky” The driver who at the first sign of bad weather, turns his emergency blinkers on and drives merrily down the highway, or maybe at a reduced speed so that no one will hit him…when in fact, at his reduced speed, he might become the hazard he is trying to avoid….oh, and many times in the left or middle lane.

“Blinky II” The person who has his turn signal on for 25 miles

“Traffic Cop” The person in front of you, with another in front of them and as the person in front of THEM signals THEIR turn, the person in front of YOU mimics the same, yet, fails to turn. When the first car is gone, they turn their blinker off.. “Yo ding dong… signal to me what YOU are going to do, not what everyone else is doing”

“Road Block” The person who is stopped at a green light for left turn (opposing traffic not letting them through), instead of “claiming the intersection”, they are behind the line, then… the light turns yellow or red, and they BLAST through, leaving your opportunity to also get through, wither away (had they scooted up).

“Road Block II” The person in the far left lane who feels it necessary to go the speed limit, or slower. (not advocating speeding of course)

“Road Block III” The person in the left lane who feels compelled to go EXACTLY the same speed as the person in the lane to right, disallowing anyone to pass either one. And of course, they do this for several miles.

“Disorganized” The person at the drive through bank window and waits until talking to the teller, to get their transaction organized, slowing down the whole line

“Hungry” The person at the drive through (McDonalds) and has an order for 15 people instead of the 2 or 3. If you’re feeding an army, go inside…

“no name for this one” (not driving related) The person at the grocery store who has a cartful of items… yet needs to pay for 3 separate items separately and THEN their stuff..meaning, 4 transactions with the cashier, while you wait with your melting ice cream.

“Moron” The person who uses a turn lane, or the right shoulder to pass someone even though the person they pass is NOT slowing down to turn themselves… this person just wants around at any cost.

“U-Turn” The person who makes a U turn in middle of road instead of pulling into parking lot/other to do it safely

“Wipers” The person who’s wipers are operating (usually on high speed), even though the rain has stopped and nary a drop of rain is in air

“Parking lot” The person (is it usually women?? and I WILL deny ever saying that /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif) that as you await to park in the packed parking lot, gets into their vehicle, as they fumble around for what seems 5 minutes to get their key, they start the vehicle… then they sit there for another 5 minutes… put it into reverse, but hold all movement with the brakes for yet another 5 minutes… back up slowly… and then when they FINALLY leave (as happened to me once) some young punk mall worker with pierced nose WHIPS her car into the spot laughing at you and upon your protesting says “first come first serve” (Ohhh please be still my hidden Uzi…)

“Headlight dude” Since I drive a smaller car, I’m maybe more sensitive to someone in their truck (usually) doing the above “sniffer” routine with his headlights about 6 feet behind my head, seemingly trying to intimidate me. Well, I do not intimidate very well and when that happens, I’ll utilize some of the aforementioned driving habits as my silent protesting.

I thought I’d throw some of these out as comic relief for myself. I am guilty of some of them. indeed, maybe most of them (but not all).

What drives YOU nuts???

 

[Robert_in_NY]

I know about the headlights on trucks. I drive them and am very considerate to other drivers because of it. I try not to follow too close so as to not blind them too badly if they are in a small car. However, at least you understand the fact that our trucks now have bright headlights and are mounted up high. I have numerous people flash their lights at me and I just give them a quick flash just so they know I am using low beams. However, I do run into the idiots who flash their lights back at me a second time after I showed them I am in low? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Also, I had one car a couple weeks ago pull over in front of me. I was about 200 feet behind this car as it was an older car and the trunk was low so my lights would light up their entire car if I wanted to. Anyway, they pull over and let me by (because of my lights I figured). They get behind me and nail me with their high beams /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif. This infuriated me as I was trying to be nice so I nicely locked my brakes up in the middle of the road and forced them to go around me. As soon as they did I nailed them with my high beams and did not let up which made the punk kids dive into a parking lot. So you would think these idiots would learn their lesson, right? NO. The idiots pulled back out and put their high beams on again but this time stayed back about 500 feet as if they would have pulled up behind me I would most likely be sitting in a jail right now /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Some drivers are just idiots no matter how nice you try to be. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

 

[OkeeDon]

Your "Road Block III" is similar to what I call "magnetic cars". On multiple lane roads, they rush up until they're just off your rear quarter, but their car's magenetic attraction to yours seems to get them stuck there. You slow down. they slow down. You speed up, they speed up. You come up behind someone going slower than you, and they're too close to pull in front of in order to pass. You ride that way for a while, then the magentic attaction of the vehicle in front of you gets them. They pass you, but then get stuck on the next car, and you still can't pass.

It's no use trying any of the initimidation tricks, becoming a sniffer or a headlight dude or blinking the lights or even moving far enough to the left that you fill their rear view mirror; because it isn't their fault, their car is magnetic and they can't help it.

Lord help me, and it's gonna prevent me from achieving Sainthood, but I've gone as fast as 95 mph to break the magnetic attraction and get far enough way so they can't stick to me again, and I don't think there's a cop in the world that will give me a ticket if I explain that I'm just trying to get away from a magnetic car.

 

[bgott]

You forgot the ones that drive on autopilot. They like to get in your blind spot and stay there, letting you do the thinking. I had one do that one night while I was driving home from Bacliff after visiting my mother. There was little traffic so I decided to try an experiment. By speeding up and slowing down slowly so as not to get his attention I had this guy running from 35 to 80 MPH. I figure he, she or it was on the phone or half drunk. I finally got tired of the game and locked it down, that woke him up. I had a ditzoid pull the parking space grab one time when I was driving a $100 pot Cadillac off the car lot I was repossessing for. No plates on the Cad and the dealer plate on the seat beside me. The reason I'm an agnostic instead of an atheist is because opportunities like that come along and make me think that maybe there really is a god! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[bgott]

You were typing this at the same time I was posting. I've been known to call them magnetic cars, too. They really suck when something happens in front of you and you need their lane. Another pi$$ off around here is that everyone will give you room to change lanes when you signal. About two feet. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

 

[OkeeDon]

<font color="blue"> By speeding up and slowing down slowly so as not to get his attention I had this guy running from 35 to 80 MPH. I figure he, she or it was on the phone or half drunk. </font>

Nope, just a magentic car. Not the driver's fault, at all. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif I love that control trick if there's not too much traffic - I've had a lot of fun with it until I finally get bored. I had my wife laughing so hard at one poor sap in the other car that she almost wet her pants. The other driver was oblivious.

 

[jlbota]

The bobblehead: The person in front of you that must look at everything they are driving past on each side of the road. Ya know the ones that kinda go off the road occasionally cause they aren't watching the road in front of them. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

The braker: The driver who is always prepared to stop in any situation so the foot never leaves the brake pedal at any time.

The pied piper: The driver on the Loud bike or in the Loud car or truck that has to let you know he has cool exhaust by revving his or her machine the whole time at each stop light.

The asphalt removeralso see traffic stopper) The driver in a vehicle that is so low to the ground from custom modifications every time they turn to go into the local Taco Bell...Autozone etc. They have to enter almost sideways at 3mph as to not rip off the front end of their vehicle.

The drag racer: The driver sitting next to you in the left lane at a stoplight who knows they have to make a right turn just ahead. So at the change of the light they Jam the accelerator to the floor in an attempt to outrun you and jump into the right hand lane before the turn is approached. I think this gives a sense of accomplishment somehow. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[snowman]

Trucks/Cars coming at you that, while they don't have their high beams on, have 20 500 watt fog lamps lit up instead.

I turn my brights on, and they usually flash their high beams to let me know that - "hey - I don't have my high beams on"!

 

[Gatorboy]

"The Smoking Pig"

This is a smoker, who when they are done with their cigarette, instead of disposing it in their ashtray or other similar container, are compelled to flick it out their window.

I guess when I finish my can of soda or have a dirty tissue, I should just toss that out on the street as well?

 

[Tinkerer]

I live waaaay out in the country. We ocassionally get the "not from around here" cars driving down our rral roads at about 5 mph. They refuse to pull over so you can pass, or to speed up, forcing you to either pass with one wheel in the ditch or be late for work/church/supper!