First off, I am no expert. Several of my older John Deere Tractors I have owned had release levers on the remote couplers which made push pull releasing a breeze (and yes, they were inside a bracket such that you could not reach the coupler sleeve) . A friends new JD tractor does not have pressure release levers (cost savings I am sure). Based on his experience, you need to be perfectly lined up and push really hard and then pull real straight back to disconnect under pressure. The ball and ISO tip poppet styles should be interchangeable but I have had as much luck teaching my pigs to fly as getting them to work together, I always make the effort to buy the exact same coupler when I get new implements, even to the point of taking one off the tractor to take it with me. I cannot find one of my JD manuals on line but here is a page from one that is similar. May not be anything close to what you are experiencing but I thought I would give a try to help.
You might post some pictures of your couplers for us to see what you have and are dealing with.
Below is from one of my hydraulic manuals.
Pin-lock couplings, allow push-to-connect joining using only one hand because the outer sleeve does not need to be retracted to make a connection. In this design, pins are mounted around the socket body ID in a truncated-cone-shaped formation. Pushing the plug into the socket moves pins back and outward, due to a ramp on the plug. Shear across pins locks the plug into the socket. Retracting the springloaded sleeve, which forces the pins back out of the locking groove, releases the plug from the socket.
Ball-lock is the most common design and has the widest range of applications. A group of balls is positioned in holes located around the ID of the socket body. These holes normally are tapered or stepped to reduce their diameter at the socket body ID, so the balls do not fall into the cavity vacated by the plug when the coupling is disconnected. A spring-loaded sleeve around the socket body's OD forces balls toward the socket body ID. To connect the plug, the sleeve is pushed back, which opens clearance so the balls are free to move outward. Once the plug is in place, releasing the sleeve forces the balls inward against a locking groove on the OD of the plug. To disconnect, pushing the sleeve back provides the balls with clearance to move outward and allow the plug to be removed.
