Mamma has a Ruger LC380 that she shoots well. She didn't like the 9mm, and the .380 conceals well. I second the gift of extensive range time, and recommend the empty chamber carry for any semi-auto. It is safer to have to rack in a round in a safe weapon than trust in a safety that might get accidently knocked off placing it in a purse or pocket.
People that are frightened or distracted might accidently grab the trigger, or god forbid a child gets their curious hands on it. If they have to rack it in, it is one more barrier that has to be defeated. :2cents:
I won't get into defense tactics because I teach how to shoot guns, not people. Ultimately, if someone truly wants to carry without a round in the chamber, that is entirely their call. I only chime in because I am concerned someone may feel they
must carry that way because they'd be unsafe otherwise. That suggests more time needed getting familiar with the firearm, or time getting the right holsters and/or carry training and experience. That said, if you are not comfortable carrying a modern firearm as it is designed - with a round in the chamber - then please consider what makes you uncomfortable about the matter and decide: whether carrying a loaded firearms is for you; what issues prevent you from doing so
safely.
Not everyone is up for carrying. That does not make them weaker, it just means they don't carry. I frequently do not carry because the places I work do not permit it (lots of guys with guns surrounding the places I work). So it's situational. Likewise, I know people who just don't like to carry with a round in the chamber. Their call.
The point I am making is, "if you
feel unsafe carrying a firearm, then you
are unsafe carrying a firearm. Fix that before anything else."
Guns bouncing around purses, stuffed into pockets or cheap holsters is a really, really, really bad idea. Bad Things(tm) happen to good people when you do that. The cost of fixing a hole in your leg, your floor or some schmuck who got no choice in the matter is far more than a solid holster from a solid company,
made specifically for your firearm. While there are some decent universal carry options, at the early stages it is more important to get something that fits perfect, and to use it correctly. Eventually, you will probably need a few holsters, so don't go looking for the "only one". Start with something that works most days, and then go fro there.
Carrying without a round in the chamber can be part of training, so long as you do so knowing that even if you had one, you'd be safe. The most dangerous part of carrying a firarm is putting it on and taking it off (holstering, especially). Getting those moves down solid is best done unchambered (or even unloaded). Some people keep the gun and holster together at all times, and lock them up that way each time. Others divorce the parts every time. Whatever works for you is your call, but the most important thing is to do it safely and to ensure that you stack the odds in your favor by keeping a routine, having good components (holster, holster, holster) and practicing to be safe and fluent.
To the OP: tell your wife to take her time. I have even had people carry unloaded just so they can figure out how to carry on their body or to try a holster (such as an active/exercise holster). Overall, she may never feel good about it. That's fine.
