"it HAS to have access to O2 to live and breath"
Not so, the bacteria in the septic tank are anaerobic, need no oxygen. The top layer of scum it fat, oil, and grease. We call it FOG, go figure. Anyway it is natural since every time you bathe, you will be adding oils to the system. Take a doodoo and the fat goes there. What did you think happened to the bacon fat you ate? Don't go dumping FOG in there but know that it will occur and know that it will slowly decompose, slower than the rest. Scum on top, sludge on bottom.
Loads of laundry won't hurt it. Laundry is almost all water which will pass through to the drainfield. Too much extra laundry/water will overwhelm the drainfield but will not cause damage beyond backup or ponding if the ground is too slow to soak it up.
The waste load to the septic is the solids, and these solids need to be decomposed after settling out or floating up in the tank.