40 years as a paramedic heard these medical terms from patients:
"Abbominal pain" = abdominal pain
"He died from smil'in mighty Jesus" = He died of spinal meningitis
"I got the sugars" = I have diabetes
"She has athletic skeezurs" = She has epileptic seizures
"I got them cadillacs in my eyes" = I have cataracts
"He throwed a clot" = He had a blood clot
"Fester" = Become infected
"He hawked a loogie" = He coughed up phlegm
"She's got low blood" = She is anemic
"Doc said I have roaches on my liver" = Doctor said I have cirrhosis of the liver
Beanmedic