Stupid auto tricks?

MossRoad · Dec 10, 2001

I used to work at the airport pumping gas into airplanes, loading frieght, etc. We had a 4 speed manual shift forklift. I was loading skids into a modified Beech 18 that had a nose wheel, so it sat up pretty high. The pilot was a real jerk and refused to help me load. I set one skid on and was pushing it in with the next skid when he leaned out the door and started yelling at me as to what a poor forklift driver I was. My left foot slipped off the clutch and the forklift ran forward pushing the skid into the door post narrowly missing his head. It rolled backwards and as he peaked out it lurched forward again and dented the door post and rolled back again. He leaned out again cussing just as it lurched forward for the 3rd time and I collapsed the door post completely. By the time I got it under control he figured that I was trying to kill him and he shut up.

 MossRoad

bgott · Dec 11, 2001

There's the story about the mechanic that noticed a little bounce while raising a car on a lift. So he pulls the plug screwed into the floor to check the oil with the car still on the lift. I'm glad I wasn't working in the bay next to him. I worked next to a guy that was working on a Ford idling in neutral. He revs it up and it drops into gear and pins him to the wall. I jump over the car I'm working on and back it off of him, expecting the worst. He gets up, hobbles around for a while and starts working on it in park. It drops in reverse and he falls flat on his face. He went home after that one. I've worked in various shops for 25 years or so, with a little thought I can come up with dozens of them. I just remembered getting on a brand new Sperry New Holland swather with hydrostatic steering when I worked at a IH-SNH dealership when I was a kid. I could drive a brake steer but had never driven the hydro before. This thing was in a row of new swathers. I started it and turned the wheel and cut the fastest donut I had ever seen. The fastest the boss had ever seen, too! I got lucky and didn't hit anything. I shut it down and went to get someone to move it out in the field so I could learn how to drive it. Nobody said anything but every time I went to move a piece of equipment after that the whole damn shop and office would line up and peek out of the dealership to watch the show.

Boondox · Dec 11, 2001

When I was with the Marines we were sent to Ft Drum NY for winter warfare training. There was a terrible blizzard that year, so all the Marines went home except for medical personnel like myself and the amtrak crews. We drove around Syracuse NY passing out fuel, food, blankets, etc. After a few days the driver finally relented to my endless requests to let me drive the monster. He took me out to the middle of a huge field and handed over the controls. I made it about 100 yards when we felt a sickening crunch. We all clambered up top and looked down at the mangled roof of a blue VW bug that had been hidden under the snow. After debating for a while on what to do, we wrote "You have been run over by the Second Marine Division" on a scrap of paper and left it inside.

Pete

www.GatewayToVermont.com

snowman · Dec 11, 2001

Hey Pete - was that the Blizzard of '66? I was five years old at the time in Syracuse.

jfakerj · Dec 11, 2001

Jeff
The same thing happened to one of my relatives years ago. He owned a gas station and while guiding a woman onto the rack in one of the bays something happened and she stabbed the gas instead of the break peddal. He was standing in front of the car and was very quickly pinned against the back wall with the woman still pressing on the gas spinning the tires. He ended up with two broken legs. It could have been worse. Lesson - never stand directly in front of or behind a vehicle while guiding it. Stand a little off to the side.

Jerry

cedarranch · Dec 11, 2001

I was tractor shopping about two years ago at a JD dealer and watched a guy back a used IH with a 3pt bale spear off a flat bed. As he came off the trailer in reverse he turned and rammed the spear into a toyota. Then he went forward to pull it out and dragged the car about 2-3 feet. Stopped. Raise the 3pth tearing off the quarter panel and trunk. The lady driving the car just sat there holding the steering wheel speechless!
Along with everyone else!

heehaw · Dec 12, 2001

Several years ago, i rode out to colorado with a friend, to pick up an excess fork lift; we were in a big truck that's used to haul a dozer on, with a roll back bed. well, he went to load the fork lift, by driving it up on the bed, and it would slide right back down. finally he got it up and cut the wheels and started hollering for me to raise the bed..which i did a little way, and the front of the truck came off the ground. i told him the front end was coming up, keep going he hollered, so i did. about that time the fork lift started sliding back again, this time when the back tires hit the pavement, the front of the truck went back down, and flipped the forklift. somehow, he didn't get hurt, and the forklift wasn't hurt either. we stood there for a few minutes, and i noticed a BIG wench on the front of the bed, so i asked why don't we use the wench, after a few minutes of shaking our heads, we ran the cable out and hooked it to the forklift, wenched it on the bed, and then he lowered the bed, the forklift started rolling forward, and stuck the forks right threw the back window. so then we drove down town to a glass shop and had an new back window put in, very thankful the forks were high enough to hit the glass, instead of putting two holes in the cab..i still have a hard time trying to keep a straight face when i think about this trip..
heehaw

MossRoad · Dec 12, 2001

I'm sorry, but its winch, not wench.

wench n : informal terms for a (young) woman [syn: dame, doll, skirt, chick, bird] v : frequent prostitutes

So when you said you noticed a BIG wench on the front of the bed, I thought, hey, better not go there!

Then you asked asked why don't we use the wench. Well it's illegal in most states. /w3tcompact/icons/blush.gif

 MossRoad

njrqs · Dec 13, 2001

Heehaw

That is a ripper of a story. I think this list can't top that any batter. Great in hindsight but probably very scary while it was happening.

Yes I agree with the wench, she might have been able to help you push the forklift up, but the winch would have been a better option !

Cheers

Neil from OZ. /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

heehaw · Dec 13, 2001

yes yes i know, i woke up @ 4:30 this morning with that information in my head...all i can say is it's called creative spelling, i'd bet there ain't a single person that read this that didn't understand what was being referred to; i'll stick to my 4 and 6 cylinder, misspelled words...and that wench was a big ole gal...if its wrench, why ain't it wench..for a mechanical tool??
heehaw