Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute)

   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #21  
Not tractor-related, but stupid nevertheless...

There's a really short woman at work whose job it is to load and operate the cardboard compactor. The compactor is around a blind corner from the route I take from my office to the shop floor. Over the years if I catch her unaware I pick her up and pretend to toss her into the compactor.

Well, a few weeks ago I heard the sound of someone loading the compactor, so I rushed around the corner and had the person in the air before I realized it was a guy I'd never seen before! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif Some poor temp employee got the shock of his life! I mumbled something like "Stay alert when using that machine; it can crush your limbs as easy as a box."

He just looked at me and nodded...but he seems a lot more attentive these days! /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Pete
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #22  
So my house is the one with the 6 mailbox thingy in front of it. At one time it was probably nice (roof and sides, and place for paper) but now it was junk. I tore it out with the tractor and dug holes, filled them with concrete. Got some wolmanized 4x4's and other lumber and built a very nice new one. Archetectual roofing, all wolmanized, new mailboxes, the works! Took me 3 weekends.

I decided it would be nice to put a ridge of dirt around it and plant plants on it and then mulch the ridge.
As I was bringing the loader full of dirt down the hill to the mailbox (in 2WD) I just slid right in to the **** thing. Luckily, I built it tough enought to withstand the force. Which tells me that I really overkilled. Anyway, 4WD ias the trick for any and all loader work on slopes.
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #23  
Pete:

Thought you'd tell the tale of a home project using an extra pair of hands that were available.

Egon
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #24  
Another non-tractor related story......

I had returned from the lumber yard with some 2 X 4's I needed for a project. I always back into my garage to make getting in and out of the truck easier, so as I backed up the driveway, I kept saying to myself..."Self, don't back too far because the tailgate is down." Well, self didn't listen and I backed into the wall. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

I actually thought about leaving the hole in the wall there. Hey, it was the perfect shape to my tailgate, and I figured it gave me a little more clearance at the front end of the truck. But then I decided that the wife wouldn't appreciate looking at my tailgate in her sewing room! /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #25  
Tailgate in the sewing room would have made a great shelf With a stuffed head above it!!!

Egon
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #26  
Yeah, until the truck was pulled out of the garage! /forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #27  
Not a chance of the truck moving. Remember the mounted stuffed head.

Egon
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #28  
Notice I didn't say WHO would be moving the truck.

Wives are capable of performing Stupid Human tricks too! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #29  
Now thats funny! Did you notice if he wet his pants?
 
   / Stupid Human Tricks (Feel Free to Contribute) #30  
Who needs a tractor to be stupid?

Last weekend I fixed the bathroom faucet - it was leaking, I'm a capable person, my wife knows I can do it, no problem.

I reached under the sink and turned the shutoffs. They even worked - of course they worked, I installed them! Next I took apart the valve - one of those fancy single-spool jobs with six o-rings, two saddle seals, a plastic spool. But after turning the water back on, there was still a leak. So I took it apart again, remembering to shut off the water first. The new orings were being damaged by a sharp edge in the body. After smoothing the sharp edge it still leaked. And again, after leaving out one of the o rings, and again after putting in one of the saddle seals backward. I'm getting very good at taking this puppy apart. So good that the next time I just pulled the spool out of the body without shutting the water off. BWOOSHHH - rooster tail of water making an impressive arc up and back down everywhere. No problem, reached under the sink and turned off the water - the COLD water. Now the rooster tail is HOT. Gotta find an umbrella or something, no time, water is heading out the door, try it anyway, got completely soaked and nearly scalded. And with the mirror right there, I got a real good look at how this was going so far. Would have made a great video.

Now the worst part - I'm an engineer at a Nuclear Power plant. There's no need to panic - I'm not allowed to touch anything but my computer and coffee cup. /forums/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
 

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