Wow, the golden rules . . .
First, never, and I mean never ever, let your wife see you smiling when you are on the tractor, she will think you are having fun.
Second, whenever you come in from doing work, make sure you groan and moan and say something like "I'd still be out there until after dark if it weren't for the tractor"
Third, if you spill diesel fuel on your clothes, never ever throw them in the washing machine or in with the other laundry. It would be far less painful to simply set your self on fire than to deal with the wrath of a wife who is trying to get the diesel stench out of your daughter's school uniforms! Don't ask how I know.
Fourth, the cost of a new implement is directly proportional to the cost of new jewelry you will be paying for, whether you she needs new jewelry or not!
Fifth, wait until your better half is out of town to take delivery of new implements, or better yet new tractors. When she returns, make sure it is not parked in her space in the garage!
Sixth, if the implements are clean she will think they are new. The really good dealers will actually deliver implements and tractors with a good coating of mud and dust on them so you can say something like "no honey, that has been sitting out back for a long time, look its really dirty!"
There are dozens of other RULES about tractoring, but none are nearly as practical as the above rules . . .
You know, the simple stuff like the toothbar sticks out another 4" in front of the bucket and will gouge your barn door . . . or when a backhoe bucket accidently comes in contact with the deck support, the deck will move . . . or make sure the ROPS is down before you pull into a low garage door opening . . . or
