If/when the SHTF, you wind up a victim. But only if someone has something you want. Wife, daughter, food, tools, truck, UTV, fuel, TP....Just something to think about. Gun ownership is not for everyone but it is wise to balance both the pros and cons. If there is nothing worth protecting, being without a gun during a SHTF event is relatively safe...no one is going to waste ammunition on you.
As to intruders, they go after the easy targets if they can. Wolves to do not attack the healthiest moose in the herd.
For home defense, if you and your wife are dead set against guns...get a few cans of Wasp and Hornet spray. It is non-lethal, has a decent range of over 20' and will subdue an attacker if you spray his eyes. A couple of baseball bats applied liberally to the intruder as he squirms on the ground for follow up. Wrists, ankles, knees, head and neck are good target locations. Heavy duty zip ties for wrists and ankles. Not an ideal solution if facing two or three armed intruders if one or more is still able to engage...might just put up your hands and hope for the best. Keep your TP safe.