Where are all the Canadians?

[Harv]

<font color=blue>On a nice spring day you can ski in a t-shirt, shell pants and sunglasses</font color=blue>

Now that sounds more like it. /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

Come spring, I'll drive up there in my Chinook. /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif

 

[dullpain]

All in fun guys /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif Hope you get a kick out of it /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

A Texan, a Canadian, and a guy from Michigan
are out riding horses. The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of whiskey, takes a shot, then
another, and suddenly throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the bottle in mid-air.
The Canadian looks at him and says, "What are you
doing?! That was a perfectly good bottle of whiskey!" The Texan says, "In Texas, there's plenty of whiskey and bottles are cheap."
A while later, not wanting to be outdone, the Canadian pulls out a bottle of champagne, takes a few sips,
throws the bottle in the air, pulls out his gun and shoots it. The guy from Michigan can't believe this and says, "What did you do that for? That was an
expensive bottle of Champagne!" The Canadian says "In Canada there's plenty of Champagne and bottles are
cheap."
So a while later the guy from Michigan pulls out a bottle of beer. He opens it, takes a sip, takes
another sip, and then chugs the rest. He then puts the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulls out his gun, turns around and shoots the Canadian.
The Texan, shocked, says, "Why did you do that?!"
The guy from Michigan says, "Well, in Michigan, we have plenty of Canadians, but bottles are worth a dime."

 

[Knight9]

That is a good one! Continuing in the spirit of good-fun....(and no offense intended at all!!!)

Four people are sharing a railway car. A young gorgeous blond, an older heavy woman, an American man and a Canadian man. They don't really speak to each other but suddenly the train enters a tunnel. There is the sound of a hard smack. The train re-enters the light, to show a visible hand mark on the American's cheek. Each person is thinking to themselves:

The pretty blonde thinks "Oh the American must have tried to touch me in the dark and touched the heavy woman by mistake...and boy did she let him have it."

The heavy woman is thinking "Good for her...that American made a pass at the young blond and she slapped him really good!"

The American is thinking "Man that sucks....that Canadian guy made a pass at that pretty blond and she slapped me by mistake!!! Not fair!!"

The Canadian is thinking "Sure hope we get another tunnel so I can slap the American again!!" /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif


...hope you will all still answer my posts /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif...Seriously, I think we should both (Canadians and Americans) be very happy that we have each other for neighbors. If you look around other parts of the world....we are very fortunate to have such good relations.

Kevin

 

[dullpain]

That's a good one too Kevin - I agree fully with the neighbor deal.

 

[Harv]

Now that's funny, Kevin! /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

Speaking as an American (which isn't the same as speaking for all Americans), we need to be slapped around once in a while. /w3tcompact/icons/wink.gif

Come to think of it, I might just be speaking for myself. /w3tcompact/icons/blush.gif

 

[Knight9]

Hey Harv,

Trust me...there are a lot of Canadians that could use a good kuff upside the noggin' too! Just have to watch the local news to see that!!! Can't understand why people can't be decent to one another. It really isn't that hard.

Kevin

 

[Bird]

Kevin, I know there's good and bad everywhere, and maybe I was just lucky, but on every trip I made to Alaska, prices may have been high, but I never felt like I was being ripped off in Canada; everyone was friendly and helpful. And I can't say the same for Alaska. It seemed the same way in Alaska in the early 70s, but by the 90s, it seemed that in Alaska, the prevalent attitude (not everywhere of course) toward visitors was "just leave your money and get out of our way."/w3tcompact/icons/frown.gif

Bird

 

[Knight9]

Hi Bird,

Good to hear that your experiences with Canadians have been positive. I do think that Canada, and you'll have to pardon the generalization here, is a fairly "laid back" country. We do have more high paced cities (Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal etc) but by and large we tend to be pretty relaxed. Part of the reason I love living here so much. Unfortunately, with the Canadian dollar the way it is, there is a much greater chance of you folks visiting us than of us coming to visit you!!! Ouch!!

It is amazing actually, the number of American tourists that we get here in Edmonton....just to visit West Edmonton Mall!!! Can't say as I see the attraction, but maybe that's because I live here and the novelty has long worn off. Think I would rather go for a tour of Carver's Botaville...but that's just me. /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

And for those of you thinking of visiting Banff or Jasper to go skiing this year...DON'T. The snow is terrible this year. Save your money and try again next year!

Kevin

 

[Harv]

I'm reasonably sure this won't offend anyone, and it sure as heck cracked me up! /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTERMEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

 

[Knight9]

Now that is funny Harv!! /w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif/w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

By the way, what's up with the lunatic on the Whitehouse lawn?? Made news reels up here...Where do these people come from??

Kevin