Why do you know nothing about your neighbors?

[rox]

I read topic after topic on this website about people having issues with their neighbors and they will take considerable time and go to great efforts to go around and around talkng with different neighbors, government officals etc., but never talk man to man directly with their neighbors.

I would like to suggest that everyone invite their neighbors over for a neighborhood pot luck. Get to know your neighbors socially at least once a year or even every other year, get together and have a little party. This social networking will go very very far in reducing future issues. And it is a good thing to do, simply get to know your neighbors a little bit more than just waving at them. This first step does not have to lead to becoming "best freinds" or even friends but will greatly improve your understanding and evaluations of who you have living in proximity to you. The real only way to do this is in a social setting. Perhaps this is a good winter project, throw a party, and i like pot luck everybody brings a dish and it is something to talk about to break the ice. We can, and occasionally do, go to any of our direct neighbors when we need help or advice. Why? Becasue when we moved here we invited them over for cocktails a couple times and for lunch (lunches her are like full course dinners). Just a very small social effort has pays huge dividends. if I lived on a road with 5 or 6 houses i would invite them all over.

Just an idea for the TBNers to consider for 2007.

 

[n8wrl]

This is a great idea. But I don't know what it is - wherever we live we never get much traction with this. In apartments, town-houses, or the rural neighborhood we now live in - we have open houses, Christmas parties, try to organize 'block BBQ's and rarely get many takers. Some people don't even respond to invitatinos we put in mailboxes. We've stopped by knocking on doors to invite people who either say they can't make it (ok) or say they can and don't (not ok).

It's weird. Maybe it's us. Dunno. Hard to keep it up.

-Brian

 

[rox]

Well good for you for trying! I bet you got to know a little bit at least some of your neighors though, didn't you?

 

[MrJimi]

Things sure are different in France than they are in the United States, That won't work in our neighborhood.
Jim

 

[BobRip]

Things sure are different in France than they are in the United States, That won't work in our neighborhood.
Jim

It works in my neighborhood. I think it's a great idea. You can also just go over and talk to neighbors occasionally.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

We know are neighbors and help each other out from time to time but for the most part we all keep to ourselves and don't bother each other. We all do our own thing and get along great. We do have one neighbor none of us care for and no amount of talking will change a person's life style. They constantly let garbage blow on to all their neighbors property and never even try to pick any of it up. They drive across one neighbors land like they own it and tear things up. There are a bunch of other things they do that annoy us and the other neighbors but there is nothing any of us can do as we have already talked to them with no results so we just ignore them and everyone gets along fine.

Neighbors help each other out when they are in need and we are lucky in the fact that all but one of our neighbors are good people.

As for a picnic or something, a lot of people feel out of place in a setting where they won't know anyone or only know one or two people. I have found it is best to just introduce yourself to your neighbors one at a time and be casual. Usually you do this when you run into each other along property borders.

 

[Bird]

Rox, I'm not sure why that's seldom done in this area, except that usually when you get invited to a neighbor's house for a group get together, it's because they're trying to sell you something, whether tupperware, Avon, Home Interiors, or some other stuff. I think there also is a tendency to be reluctant to invite strangers into your home to see what you do or don't have. Some people drink and/or smoke; others are adamantly opposed to such things. I guess maybe people here just value their privacy unless or until they get to know someone else in some way besides inviting them into their homes.

However, it's sometimes just a matter of someone breaking the ice and getting started, and in fact, I think you have the right idea. When we bought a new house in 1977; new development in town on small lots, everyone was new to the neighborhood, or at least had been there no more than 6 months. But when a new couple moved in next door to us, they went around inviting everyone to their house one Saturday afternoon. I guess there were probably 10 to 15 couples. It so happened that 5 of us became very close friends; still are, although unfortunately two of the men have died since then. The others were pretty seldom seen or associated with, but at least we knew each other's names when we waved, and as far as I know there was never any neighbor squabbling about anything.

 

[HappyCPE]

One of my neighbors doesn't talk to anybody except to threaten them, hasn't mown the lawn in the last 2 years, hasn't painted the house in 20, has a leaky roof and broken window glass, and waits until the township lists the property on the tax auction list before paying just enough to get by another quarter.

When I first moved in I had a liberal moment and assumed this was all some sort of "cry for help," except that their gate to the property is padlocked 24/7 and rattling the gate gets the front door opened and the giant Rottweiler released as a snarling welcoming committee.

Some folks just don't want to be a part of society. Obviously they don't want to know me, so, whatever.

 

[MossRoad]

We know all of our neighbors by name and talk with them over the fence every chance we get. Two houses on the left, three across the street and one on the right. We all watch out for each other when someone is on vacation and pitch in for cleanup in neighborhood disasters like tornados and snowstorms. I've always talked to my neighbors since I was a little kid. Heck, out at our property there is a woman that lives across the street. The first thing I did was introduce myself to her and her husband and told them a bit about our plans. We see here every so often in the market and we always stop to have a chat.

On the other hand, we do have one neighbor that we had to call the cops on several times a year for a couple years. She finally figured out that if you don't do illegal things in broad daylight, the neighbors tend to get along with you much better.

 

[drssg]

My wife and I used to live in a subdivision, and I never took the time to get to know any of our neighbors. One day, I was in the front yard, and a large moving van was backing down our road.

I decided this would be a good opportunity to start off on a good note with a new neighbor. So I walked over, stuck out my hand, and introduced myself. He looked at me kind of funny, shook my hand, and said, "We're moving out."

We never were close.