Will be a Dad soon...need tips from Dads...

[Spiveyman]

So, may be this can be chapter two on my book.

That sleep thing... it doesn't have to be that way. I know what you hear, but I don't get any less sleep than before kids. It's supposed to be worse with breast fed kids too, but ours were not bad at all. I think what really helped was getting the kids on schedules. Eat, Play, Sleep - IN THAT ORDER. My son was born Feb 28, everyone says you can't put them on a schedule right away, but we did. OK, we gave the fella about 48 hrs to get him nursing, but being a boy he took right to it. We put both kids on a 4 hr schedule feeding at 8, 12, 4, 8, 12, 4.

We try to keep them awake right after feeding, which is sometimes a chore when they are first born, but it is important for them to establish that. In about 5 weeks he started sleeping through the 4 am feeding. For us, that meant feeding at midnight and 8 AM. That was a fairly normal schedule for us anyway. We also considered the 8PM feeding "bed time," so there was no play time after that feeding. He'd wake up, we'd feed him, and right back to bed. A few weeks later he started sleeping through his midnight feeding. We have kept 8 PM bed times for both kids, that also gives you VERY VALUABLE "us" time when life almost seems normal again. My cousin's kids stay up 'till midnight. That's insane, as they never have time for themselves. That is very important to Killer_B's point of staying married!

I also agree with the room temp feeding. This is also true with solid foods. As long as they are eating mush, whether it's store bought or home made, do it room temp. When they can eat table scraps (that's what I called it at first with my little girl) they can eat room temp stuff. When they are eating what you eat, they can have it warm.

OK, and this is critical. Dude, never forget that your baby monitor has an OFF button! And don't be afraid to use it. We got some as gifts as well. I no longer speak to the people who got them for us. They are really more for the mom's well being than the kids. Keep in mind, babies make noises when they sleep, doesn't mean you have to rush in there.

It's too late now, but I know that there's one name brand of diapers that my wife won't buy because they ALWAYS leaked. I don't remember which it is, Pampers, Huggies, or one of the other's that we've all heard of, but she won't buy them.

Huggies leaked on our girl.

To that point, carefull buying too many diapers. Even the name brands fit differently. Until you know which one's won't leak for your kid, I'd put that money aside in a savings account. And clip coupons! Will save lots of money on diapers for sure.

Diaper Genie... ...I think a trash can outside the garage will suffice, but that's just me

Hee hee. So much to learn. Have you ever smelled a poopy diaper (get used to saying poopy on a regualr basis) that's been cooking outside in the sun? Dude, splurge, get a diaper system or take the dirty ones to the Walmart trash cans on a daily basis. You don't want those things hanging around. Especially after your wife stops nursing. That's when God puts the stink in the poopy. It is an amazing transformation. That is another GREAT thing about mom's milk, the poopy is very manageable.

Lastly, don't just because she's a girl that she will prefer to Barbie to Tractors. My little girl wants to trade her Barbie Jeep for one of those John Deer tractors with the FEL. She loves playing with my son's tractor toys. I went nuts and bought a bunch for him when we found out he was going to be a boy. My girl likes his toys better than his own. And when she want's a popsicle she'll ask for a "John Deer Popsicle" or a "Kubota Popsicle" or an "International Harvester Popsicle."

When you've had a chance to think about it we can start the posts about how to get ready for the first time your daughter brings a prospective boy friend home. I have lots of material on that one and I still have many years to plan.

 

[Podunkadunk]

Doc/Spiveyman...you guys wrote a novel...you both should publish!

Gosh, where do I start (again)?

I made a mistake with the diapers. I was just reading all the posts out loud to my wife (from where we left off earlier). She told me the diapers are Luvs. I don't know one from the other really, just what my wife has explained to me

529 Plan. Present from my father in law. My wife (FSU grad) used the one her father bought for her as she was growing up...IT SAVED HER A FORTUNE and he got satisfaction knowing his little girl is a kolidge gadget If that falls through, Alabama has a fine program for dependent's of military retirees....FREE tuition and books for in-state (state) colleges. If she wants to go to Yale/Harvard/Stanford/Brown...(you get the idea), she will have already had the grades for it, thus, a scholarship will be in order Another backup is the Naval Academy...listen to me...planning her life already

Stinky diapers. My wife informed me that we have a diaper Genie on our registry. I think I posted that earlier, too lazy to go dig through my post. Regardless, I'll do my best not to stink up the place with my disposal method. Wallymart is 23 miles away and that's just one way. Daily runs aren't in the agenda, but I got your point THANKS.

Barbies to Tractors comparo. My wife already says that our little girl will be daddy's little tomboy. I'll have her hunting/fishing/riding 4 wheelers/long distance target shooting/using a chainsaw/helping her old man change the oil/doing preventive maintenance/DRIVING THE TRACTOR/hooking up implements/weed whacking/cutting grass/riding horses/feeding horses/giving them shots.......................................................................I think you feel me. She won't be raised "girly-girly", but if that's how she wants to be, it will be AFTER she's been exposed to things normally associated to "y" chromosome types.


Computer monitoring. I'm a Business Systems Analyst for an I.T. company that does work for the DoD. I don't code, but I can read it (some, but not all types). She'll have to be really slick to get something by me. Won't happen anyhow, there are too many programs out there that will counter any counter covert computer ops. Spectrasoft comes to mind...there are many, many others!

DocHeb, this one cracked me up: 10. During the first school teacher conferences, agree with the teacher that you will believe half of what is said about teacher if the teacher agrees to believe half of what is said about you. So true!

I could go on and on...need to call it a night after I go put out a fire in another thread.

"Talk" to you guys later and thanks so much. This has been really informative and fun.

Podunk

 

[Spiveyman]

I was trying to think of some other tid bits of info that haven't been mentioned here. One thing came to mind... sippy cups. You won't need them at first, but they are a necessity as your little one starts to drink from a cup. There are 1,253,985 different designs for a sippy cup, give or take. My wife decided she wanted to try one of each design to see what worked the best. Now we have a cabinet full of sippy cups, each on with its own design and internal parts. Some of these things have 3 or 4 parts in addition to the cup and lid. There's the soft flexible straw part that you drink from, the hard straw part that goes down in the cup, some kind of check valve to make it spill proof, and sometimes another piece to let air back in the cup. The problem is when she does dishes she winds up with a pile of parts, sometimes a straw may only be a couple mm's shorter than another, or slightly different diameter, but you have to match up all the right parts or the cups leak or you get too much air or something else. It's like a puzzle every time you have to do this. She usually leaves the pile on the counter for me to sort through.

My advice, buy the simplest design you can find, and buy a bunch of them. Then all the parts are interchangeable and you will save tons of time not having to solve the sippy cup challenge every other night. My suggestion, try these: Sippy Cups

They are simple, and they work great.

The other thing I wanted to mention, you might want to check into an Educational Savings Account (ESA) for your kid's college. They tend to be more flexible, but there is a cap of about $2,000 per year you can put in there. However, if you start at age 0 and contribute that much for 18 years, she will have enough money to go anywhere she wants. You can have anything in it you want, I recommend a blend of mutual funds (agr. growth/growth/international/growth & income, or more simply put: small cap, mid cap, large cap, and international.) It will be in her name though, so it's her money and if she doesn't use it by age 30 she has to withdraw the money and pay a 10% penalty for not using it for education. Another option is to put that money in a ROTH IRA for you. The cap is much higher (assuming you qualify for a Roth) and the money is in your name not hers so you don't have to worry about her marrying a schmuck and taking the money. Also, when you pull it out 18 years from now, there is NO tax consequence on anything you put in AND all that interest is still there growing tax free for your retirement.

I'm sure I'll think of more...

 

[RobJ]

As for the kids, I agree that they need interaction with other kids that aren't their siblings. I raise beagles and with beagle pups we call it 'socialization'. I don't see how it can be a necessary part of raising a dog, but not a kid. The more different kinds of people your kids can meet and interact with, the better off they'll be.

Hmmm, what's good for the dogs is good for the kids? Hehe ok but my daughter is not sunbathing like our dog.

The more different kinds of people your kids can meet and interact with, the better off they'll be.

Go watch the kids leaving the local highschool some afternoon, pick one and have him/her show up at your front door. No they are not all bad but there are some you will want to keep your daughter away from. Wait til they get older. My wife works at the high school, nothing surprises her anymore.

As far as the day care vs. stay home mom...I realize that doesn't work for everyone. Some women should not stay home, some couples should not have kids, everyone is different. But for a stay home mom there are plenty of things out there to keep her and her child active and social, Mothers Day out, MOPS, Mothers of Pre schoolers, friends with kids, etc. Stay at home and they will go crazy!!


When I watch people with young kids these days, the biggest thing is disipline, there is none of it(in some cases WAY to much to). In my current family I have to leave the room in fear of saying something!! Both in a day care from 6:00am (in the morning) to 6:00pm (at night). I think there is no disipline at these places (ok and none at home either in this case). If my kids were in a day care and they started wacking them I probably would not like it. And yes I did spank my kids, time outs are for sissies!!

In the end you want to put them in the best surroundings as possible. As a parent, if you smoke, don't be surprised if you kids smoke, same with drinking, drugs, cussing, hitting on your spouse. Of if your kid hangs out at a house that has all of this, don't be surprised. They may end up doing all this anyway, best you can do is try and set an example, a good one. And for the guy who started this thread, all this starts at age 3-4, oh yeah. By 9-10-11, maybe 12 , you've either lost them or you saved them.

BTW, my son is 18 and my daughter is 15.

 

[DocHeb]

And for the guy who started this thread, all this starts at age 3-4, oh yeah. By 9-10-11, maybe 12 , you've either lost them or you saved them.

My dad taught Middle School Geography and History for 40 years. He said that he liked teaching those grades because he felt that was the last chance to change them for the better. He retired 10 years ago. Our last name is unusual, and I often see patients who look at my name, get a quizzical look on their face - "was your dad the teacher?" They often say that "he was the best teacher - always strict, always fair, and treated us with respect (if we deserved it)." He got frustrated at the end because the principals got more "touchy-feely, nobody ever need punishment, everybody's special, and you need another workshop to learn that." He was glad to go in the end.

 

[Killer_B]

My dad taught Middle School Geography and History for 40 years. .

Doc,

Your dad would probably cringe at the modern curriculum in those subjects. I get rather frustrated and angry at my (5th and 8th grade) children's text books when I help them with their homework. My daughter had to memorize 16th century African ruler's names and their trade routs. And the names of WWII war protestors (It appears that there actually were a couple). But she has yet to learn about John Adams or Thomas Jefferson or Lewis & Clark or the Louisiana Purchase or the Battle of Gettysburg. WWII gets a cursory glossing over, focusing largely on the evils of the US bombing of Japan.

As far as I can tell, the only subject that has not been liberalized is mathematics. They are probably working on a way to do that as well.

BTW: Both of my children's teachers are always given full authority to discipline as they see fit. And I tell them that should I ever disagree with their disciplinary measures, it will stay between us and my children will never know about it. I am usualy told that my children are the last ones they would expect to have to discipline. And I tell them it's my goal to keep it that way.

 

[Perdido]

Hold the baby anytime you want to, they grow up quick. Spend lots of time with her, I alway ask older guys what they would have done different and the one answer I alway get is I wish that I had spend more time with my kids -- not that I had worked more. Giving your child things--stuffs is important but your time is the most important thing.

 

[jmc]

Consider putting their sandbox, swingset or whatever close to your barn, workspace or wherever you prefer to spend time, if its within view.

Don't be embarrassed when your child melts down in public because they all will, and you have endured all those other peoples' kids, now its their turn to endure yours. And when someone else's child melts down, rather than being annoyed, you'll just be glad its not yours.

John

 

[riptides]

You know...........


Just sit back and enjoy the ride. No battleplan survives first contact. The best you can hope to do, is be flexible and have as many options in all things possible. And even when YOU think your out of options, there are people and places that can still help.

I learned to work life out on four to five hours of sleep a night. Interrupted at that. Be prepared.

Enjoy. Grab all the smiles you can.
-Mike Z.

 

[dmccarty]

Don't be embarrassed when your child melts down in public because they all will, and you have endured all those other peoples' kids, now its their turn to endure yours. And when someone else's child melts down, rather than being annoyed, you'll just be glad its not yours.

Amen! When I hear a kid melting down, I look and give a knowing smile to the frustrated, harried parent. BTDT and bought the tee shirt. It will happen. Its not bad parenting. When kids get tired/sick they just can't control their emotions and they can just melt down. Our kids are growing out of this but they still pull a Three Mile Island from time to time.

We started the first fire in the wood stove last night. It finally got cold here. Wish we had a few more warm weeks since the garden has lots of tomatoes, beans, basil and okra. Lots of dead bumble bees on the basil flowers.

I restoked the fire this morning and pulled the little kid chair and desk near the stove. Got the oldest out of bed and put her in the chair to get warm and have her breakfast in front of the fire. Got a nice hug, kiss, and smile in return.

Spoil 'em the right way when you can.

Later,
Dan