Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor?

   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #41  
Back in late 2002 I purchased a new loaded Deere 4210 to supplement an older 318 and my then-spouse didn't even notice it for a month....she asked "Did you get a new LAWN MOWER?" (emphasis added here). CLUELESS....!!! MY current fiance would notice a lot quicker but she is a lot more mechanically minded and much brighter than my ex....but she would not care...she would be happy for me (as long as she didn't have to pay anything for it).

But were she your wife, wouldn't she be paying for it too??
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #43  
Wife would probably notice after a while, but wouldn't really care. We've had separate checking accounts since day 1. She pays her car payment, her gas and daycare. I pay everything else. I'll usually talk to her before a larger purchase, but mostly just a passing conversation, not so much asking permission. She knows I've worked too hard and long to keep my credit perfect to jeopardize it by making an impulse purchase.
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #44  
Wife & I have "my" money, "her" money, and "our" money.

Joint expenses get paid out of "our" money. If she wants a new car, it's "her" money that pays for it.

If I want a new truck, it's "my" money that pays for it.

"our" money is contributed on a ratio that approximates our respective income (i.e. if I were to make 2/3's of the total household income, I would contribute 2/3's of the "our" money)

I set this system up when we were married in 1989 and it has worked very well ever since.
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #45  
We've been married 42 years, always had separate jobs and separate spending accounts. We each save as much as we can while spending what we need. I don't question her and she doesn't question me. Most the time I earned about 2/3 the family money so I took care of most the expenses and did most the saving. Now I am retired and she is not, so our roles have reversed. That required a little bit of trial and error. What we ended up with is, I keep on paying pretty much everything, and she shifts money to me every few months to pick up the slack.
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #46  
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #47  
Wife & I have "my" money, "her" money, and "our" money.

Joint expenses get paid out of "our" money. If she wants a new car, it's "her" money that pays for it.

If I want a new truck, it's "my" money that pays for it.

"our" money is contributed on a ratio that approximates our respective income (i.e. if I were to make 2/3's of the total household income, I would contribute 2/3's of the "our" money)

I set this system up when we were married in 1989 and it has worked very well ever since.

We do the similar except "her" money is funded by her money, but both "my" money and "our" money is funded by my money. All major purchases are done with "my" money and sometimes I even catch her transferring "our" money (really "my" money) into "her" account. She makes decent money but can not save a dime. I am a religious saver and investor and at this point in my life money is not a concern. This method is the only way I could figure to where we don't fight. It shocked me when we got married, had one account and every time the bills needed to be paid we had to scrape up money. I was not going to live like that. So, I don't say what she spends "her" money on and she doesn't say what I spend "my" money on. When I die, she gets 100% of everything.
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #48  
We do the similar except "her" money is funded by her money, but both "my" money and "our" money is funded by my money. All major purchases are done with "my" money and sometimes I even catch her transferring "our" money (really "my" money) into "her" account. She makes decent money but can not save a dime. I am a religious saver and investor and at this point in my life money is not a concern. This method is the only way I could figure to where we don't fight. It shocked me when we got married, had one account and every time the bills needed to be paid we had to scrape up money. I was not going to live like that. So, I don't say what she spends "her" money on and she doesn't say what I spend "my" money on. When I die, she gets 100% of everything.


Well stated Tom. My wife likes to have some "her" money and I like to have some "my" money. I tell her I am not concerned what she does with "her" money, but I would appreciate not having to use "our" money to buy makeup and perfume. She understands that well and even adds in her clothing. :)

If/when I die she will have a larger income than she does now because she won't have to support my spending anymore.
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor?
  • Thread Starter
#49  
Very interesting that so many people have separate accounts. Our situation is much different. I make ALL the money and she raises the kids and home schools them. I watch savings and investments like a hawk and she pays all the bills from money that I put in our joint checking (our only checking account). She has a budget for monthly expenses and does a good job staying within budget. We never discuss anything that is within budget and she looks for ways to be below budget and put extra in savings. Some of that extra goes to a savings account that she keeps to save money for trips she wants to take. Some goes to the savings/investments that I manage. We discuss all expenses that are beyond the budget.

Besides our house, we don't put anything on credit, if we don't have the money, we don't need it.

Her attitude towards my spending is this... "It's your money. If you spend more you retire later, if you spend less you retire earlier. And that affects you a lot more than it affects me. So it's your choice." But we still discuss everything and we both take an interest in the others wants / needs.

If she want's something (usually travel), she saves money for it out of the budget by finding ways to be more thrifty. If it is more than she can save she asks me for money and we discuss it. I almost never say no because I love her and want her to understand that it is our money not my money. However, we have delayed spending for both of us based on where we were compared to my savings goals which ultimately impacts when I retire. She is very understanding of my desire to retire earlier rather than later because used to work outside the home and hated it - so she feels for me.

But none of this has anything to do with the fact that it could be months or years before she would noticed a new (same color) tractor if I didn't point it out to her! But then again, she's made decoration changes in the house tha I sometimes didn't notice for a year after she made the changes and she laughs about that. I guess it's the same thing! :laughing:
 
   / Would your wife notice if you got a new tractor? #50  
Reminds me of last summer;took the cap off my truck;wife....noticed and why would you do that?My answer.....it won't fit my new truck.
Bottom line,we both worked long and hard and she still does;she buys what she wants and I do the same.
It has worked for 44 years for us.We both have good retirements,savings and no bills.Kids will have way more than they will need or we ever got from our parents.
 

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