You Know You Are Old When

[RobertEH]

I went to Costco a while back to fill up the truck at their gas station. The card reader would not read my Costco card. The attendant came over, looked at the issue date on it and said "wow! Your card is older than I am!"

 

[oldballs]

You know that you are old when you catch your reproductive organ in the zipper, while trying to position your hernia belt........

 

[WinterDeere]

You know that you are old when you catch your reproductive organ in the zipper, while trying to position your hernia belt........

So, here I am Christmas morning ca.1981 in my one-piece "footie pajamas", although we always called them "blanket sleepers". What I remember distinctly about these pajamas, is that they had one long zipper down the front, from the neck all the way past the groin and half way to the knee. The reason I remember that is, using the bathroom before bed one evening, I failed to clear the zipper.



Not only did I manage to catch skin in the zipper, I was then forced to run the shuttle back down over that bit of skin a second time, to get out of it. I guess I didn't think to just ask dad to tear the zipper open, but rather took care of the matter quietly by myself.

Must have been about age 6-7, and it is the first and last time that ever happened... indeed the last time that will ever happen. I've been zippering with more care every day of the 45 years since.

 

[oldballs]

Well now.....

You know that you are getting old when you've forgotten the lessons that you learned when just a child.

Cheers Winter,
Mike

 

[Oaktree]

Not only did I manage to catch skin in the zipper, I was then forced to run the shuttle back down over that bit of skin a second time, to get out of it. I guess I didn't think to just ask dad to tear the zipper open, but rather took care of the matter quietly by myself.

Had that happen to me once, only I was in my 20s. I'd gone swimming in my skivvies, just went commando when I got dressed afterwards. When zipping up thought "gotta be careful here" just before I got caught in the zipper.
Once was enough, never went commando again.

 

[goeduck]

I switched from old style briefs to stretch boxers or trunks (not sure which they are) to keep things in position. As old man's buttt set in it decreased the back-end load which was loosening up the rigging. At that time things kept falling between the cracks up front which was impossible to correct in public. Now everything stays tucked in.

 

[Fuddyduddy1952]

All I know is tying my shoes hurts my stones and cutting my toenails ain't easy anymore.

 

[DFB]

All I know is tying my shoes hurts my stones and cutting my toenails ain't easy anymore.

Try doing that with a failed hip joint

Will be headed off for new parts next week!

 

[masseyrider]

Try doing that with a failed hip joint

Will be headed off for new parts next week!

They make replacement parts for models that old?

 

[MossRoad]

Try doing that with a failed hip joint

Will be headed off for new parts next week!

All I know is tying my shoes hurts my stones and cutting my toenails ain't easy anymore.

When I had back surgery last month, they gave me a 2' shoe horn. It works great!

Google 24" shoe horn. There are quite a few listed. I highly recommend it.

Works better when standing up with one hand on the wall than it does sitting down. Just a tip I've learned over the weeks.