You might be a conservative if

   / You might be a conservative if #1  

Scott_in_WVA

Gold Member
Joined
Mar 2, 2002
Messages
414
You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
You've named your kids "Deduction one" and "Deduction two".
You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic slur) friend".
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck, they're richer than you.
You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs".
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of #@%$*%$.
You've ever said, "I can't wait to get into business school".
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie".
You answer to "The Man".
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood".
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you suspect Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance".
You use any of these terms to describe your wife : Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit.
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values.
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho".
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut".
You think Birkenstok was that radical rock concert in 1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
You've ever said "civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties".
You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me".
You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "liar" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve".
You've ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North : American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the "liberal media".
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates ...".
You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
You think all artists are gay.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society".
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
You confuse Lenin with Lennon.


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   / You might be a conservative if
  • Thread Starter
#2  
Before anyone gets ugly on me!!!! This is all in fun.....so we see the otherside of the coin...
 
   / You might be a conservative if #3  
I enjoy your posts. I am a 50 percent conservative, 50 percent libertarian kind of guy, and your posts give me a chuckle. And yes, I am guilty of one or two of the items on your conservative list/w3tcompact/icons/grin.gif!
 
   / You might be a conservative if
  • Thread Starter
#4  
Thanks.....I do not do anything to be mean spirited And I was told I was putting too many Clinton jokes on here,heck maybe I did.I like to be laughed at and I like to laugh with people.
I am a little bias towards John Deere tractors/w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif
 
   / You might be a conservative if #5  
<font color=blue>You use any of these terms to describe your wife : Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit.</font color=blue>

I personally opt for the "old piece of skin" variation./w3tcompact/icons/smile.gif

Jeff
 
   / You might be a conservative if
  • Thread Starter
#6  
/w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
 
   / You might be a conservative if #7  
Hey!!

What is this stuff??? /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif

<font color=blue>You confuse Lenin with Lennon.</font color=blue>
I thought I was confusing Lenin with <font color=red>Leno</font color=red>!

Is it OK to think of Anita Hill as a disgusting liar <font color=red>WITHOUT</font color=red> going to a Packwood Rally?

<font color=blue>You think all artists are gay. </font color=blue>
You mean ...... they're not?

<font color=blue>You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.</font color=blue>
Chuckle? Chuckle! Don't you mean ROTFLMAO?
/w3tcompact/icons/grin.gif /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif /w3tcompact/icons/grin.gif /w3tcompact/icons/laugh.gif
 
   / You might be a conservative if #8  
Thanks for posting the other side, Scott. I guess you know I don't like making fun of anyone. But, somehow I do like it when someone makes fun of them all.
 
   / You might be a conservative if #9  
<font color=blue>I guess you know I don't like making fun of anyone. </font color=blue>
I know that some people seem to think that jokes denigrate the race/sex/creed/height "butt" of the joke ... but that seems to be the same people that force political correctness down our throats at every opportunity. I have never told a joke to belittle or maike fun of someone ... only to get a laugh ... and have never had someone tell me they were upset.
Every single Cajun joke I've ever heard comes from several pure Louisiana Cajun buddies of mine. Every Newfie joke I've ever heard was from several of my Newf friends. Every Polack joke I've ever heard was from a Polish-American friend (ok, I'm splitting hairs, I did read some on the internet once but I have no idea whether the poster was Polish).
My German jokes come from my relations. And my blonde jokes are provided to me by my blonde sister or one of several blonde co-workers. Oh, and my cop jokes normally come from my brother-in-law, an ex-cop.
Somehow, all these non-PC people seem to think they're humorous and I've never seen them take offence at a joke.
Yeah, there's some vulger humor out there, and some that is pure racist ... but I don't feel obliged to pass it on and therefore don't scream, holler, wail and cry about them.
Like the post about Off-Topic and what's proper ... if it offends you ... maybe you want to stop reading it. But only a book-burner (and I'm not calling you one) would want to stop other people from reading it.

Smile! It makes folks wonder what you're up to ... and you know what? A positive (and jovial) attitude is infectious!

pete (casting no stones, only pearls)
 

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