Nearly got shot today

[RSKY]

As you may have noticed on a thread in Related Topics I am searching for a holster for a pistol. Today we traveled to a nearby larger city to do some shopping (she shops, I sit in the car and sleep) and I looked at a couple gun stores for my holster. No luck!

So we come home and I help the wife unload the groceries and everything and tell her I'm going into our small town to the one place I had not looked for the holster.

So I park and walk in. Looking around and waiting until all the other customers leave. The owner chased out a couple boys who come in after he asked them how old they were. When they said sixteen he told them to leave, "right now". He explained to me that Kentucky state law forbids anyone under eighteen in a gun store if long guns are not locked up. And nobody under twenty one if handguns are not locked or chained.

It was myself, the owner (with two pistols in holsters and another in his back pocket), and a male clerk in the store.

The conversation went as follows.

Me, "I was in here a couple years ago, right after you opened, and your wife was telling me about y'all being expert witnesses in court cases".

Owner, "Ex."

Me, "What?"

Owner, "Ex-wife."

Me, "Oh."

Clerk, grinning, "She ran off with a clown."

Me, "Oh, ......" Here is when my mouth disengaged from my brain. "...What....?"

Owner, "Married thirty years and the bytch ran off with a freaking rodeo clown."

Me, with brain disengaged from mouth, "Maybe he tickled her funny bone."

Clerk snorts and starts laughing but I could tell the owner didn't think it was funny. The clerk did not see the owner's hand move slightly toward the holster. I did. His hand and face both twitched a little but. Brain quickly reengaged with the mouth and I stood quietly not saying anything. The clerk was still laughing but it was obvious the owner did NOT think it was funny at all.

Owner, "You bas.................." I did not crack a smile.

And he finally started grinning a little.

"Yeah, I guess he did." And he started laughing too.

Me, "Did what?"

Owner, "Tickled her funny bone." And he described what he hoped happened to both their funny bones.

I learned a valuable lesson today. Never, ever make fun of a heavily armed man having marital problems.



RSKY

 

[dragoneggs]

Yikes... half way through your story I thought you were telling a joke. I guess you were joking (making fun of the owner). A good lesson regardless. I tend to tease people a fair amount but realizing I need to watch my tongue as some aren't strong enough not to take it the wrong way.

 

[airbiscuit]

It reminds me of the guy who was going 90 mph and pulled over after a long chase by a police officer. The police officer said you better have a good excuse. The driver said "About a month ago, my wife ran off with a cop. I thought he was trying to bring her back".

 

[airbiscuit]

Owner, "Married thirty years and the bytch ran off with a freaking rodeo clown."

You could have said I guess it was her turn in the barrel.

or

Why didn't you shoot the horse he rode in on?

or

Sounds like it wasn't her first rodeo!

 

[ovrszd]

Were I the owner I would have sent you packing with the teenagers where your mouth belonged.

 

[gemutlich]

Well, clowns DO have big shoes - and ya know what they say about us guys with big shoes right? Lol

 

[RSKY]

Were I the owner I would have sent you packing with the teenagers where your mouth belonged.

I didn't laugh. But the clerk was nearly falling in the floor. I don't think the owner was really mad. After a few seconds he started laughing too. And the clerk said that was the best one yet. So I figure they had heard plenty of snarky remarks before.

But he sure got my attention.

And he immediately started trying to sell me another gun, even taking one of his out of the holster, dropping the mag and ejecting the chambered round, and handing it to me.

RSKY

 

[2ndhalf]

You could have said " Rodeo clown huh, probably helps her get on the horse"! ... and then ran in a zig zag pattern out the door.

 

[airbiscuit]

You could have said " Rodeo clown huh, probably helps her get on the horse"! ... and then ran in a zig zag pattern out the door.

From the sounds of that store owner, you might make it through a zig, but I doubt you would make it to a zag.

 

[comancheflight]

The movie Bronco Billy -

Antoinette Lilly: Have you ever been married?

Bronco Billy McCoy: Sure. A long time ago.

Antoinette Lilly: Did you love her?

Bronco Billy McCoy: With all my heart. Sometimes that just isn't enough.

Antoinette Lilly: What happened?

Bronco Billy McCoy: I caught her in bed with my best friend.

Antoinette Lilly: What did you do to him?

Bronco Billy McCoy: I shot her.

Antoinette Lilly: What! What about him?

Bronco Billy McCoy: He was my best friend!