Teenage Son Advice

[QueBota]

I forgot to bring home the owners manual, they were selling them in the nursery area, I figured who needs a manual, how hard can it be?

 

[k0ua]

I forgot to bring home the owners manual, they were selling them in the nursery area, I figured who needs a manual, how hard can it be?

There was an owners manual available? I HAVE BEEN CHEATED!:yell:

 

[tcreeley]

Over half the kids around him are drinking too much or smoking too much dope. Your son could probably list 10 kids who do stuff off the top of his head. The only thing I see work, is getting these kids into jobs where they can make some good money, license/cars where they can work to buy things for their vehicles. Sports works too, but often the team mates also drink too much or do the drugs.
You have to trust your kid, but you should talk to him, be his best friend, get a project going together- not where you boss, but where he takes the lead and uses you for help when he needs it. Think twice about those "parties"- drink/drugs/sex. You can't scare him, he'll work around you. Get involved- get him involved. He's trying things out- but that's all it is. It is the physical addiction that creeps up on a kid that you want to avoid. Hard to shake that.
Good luck- start a conversation, share a hobby, start a hobby together.

 

[buickanddeere]

Most people have told me not to give up and it appears to have been good advice. My stupid @** head strong kid was into stuff, had no sense of fear and was through the courts a a juvenile several times. I personally charged him once with vehicle theft. He went pure idiot after he started a different school for grade 9 and was easing off some after graduation when not associating with fellow @** orifices. He finally got busted as an adult and I'm glad he did. He may or may not have to do some time however the fear of which has smartened him up some.
He is attending an accredited millwright program at college from 5:00PM to 10:00PM. he works as a Milwright apprentice from 08:00AM to 3;30PM and if off the dope.

 

[Steppenwolfe]

Hang in there, buddy. The father / son dance can be a tough one. I have three sons. First born, 32 hasn't talked to me in two years and won't tell me why. We were once very close and I suffer daily over the loss of his company. My second, 30 is a great kid who works with me in our company. We laugh now over the amount of discipline it took to get him where he is. We had some real difficult times, and at the height of our troubles I told him " You are my son, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you, EXCEPT I'm not going to hate you. " It was a true turning point. My third son is 27 and we have always been friends, doesn't so much mean buddies, but good friends who can talk to each other. He failed out of college twice despite everything my wife and I could do for him. When I went to pick him up after the last time, he assumed we were going to throw him out on the street to fend for himself. I assured him that wasn't going to happen, although that is what he deserved. I explained life wasn't easy, and I wasn't going to let him throw his away that quickly. So now he works for me, and after three years he has become a pretty good carpenter and a great job superintendent. You are in a tough spot with your son, but try not to smother him. Watch him closely, and let him know your are always there for him. If he is going to fall, he needs to fall at your door. Good luck.

 

[square1]

Steppenwolfe's post reminded me...make sure he knows you love him. You don't need to tell him this every time you talk to him, but he needs to hear it, and you need to know that he heard it (not through verbal response, but by the expression on his face or by his body language) at least once. The frequency of reminders will increase as the relationship between the two of you gets better and quite likely it will go farther south before it turns around.
FWIW, I don't have a son, I am one and am looking back from the end of a similar road.
Best wishes.

 

[joecoin]

The best advice I can give you is to never have children. If you decide against that advice the next best advice I can give you is leave them at the hospital, sneak out the back door...refuse to take ownership...do whatever it takes to avoid bringing a child / baby home to live with you.

Finally, if failing to heed those two pearls of wisdom, pray lots, be there when he turns to you, then listen a lot. After listening, help him come to a conclusion on what he needs to do, don't tell him what to do or do it for him. He's likely going to be okay and so are you, but it's not going to be without some anxious moments.

I made myself a promise many years ago; No one is going to do to me what I did to my parents. That is one promise I kept and I am very happy I did.

 

[dmccarty]

...
By the way. When my daughter was 14 she told me she never wanted to speak to me again. It passed and now at 31 she is happy and enjoying her professional job and married life. ...

She only said that once? :confused3::laughing::laughing::laughing:

Later,
Dan

 

[dmccarty]

Well the "kid" is almost 18 at which point he will be an adult and the stuff he does starts counting. Car insurance companies have told us for years, via their premiums, that young men ain't right in the head until 25. I have heard that scientists studying the brain have come to the same conclusion that the insurance companies have known for decades. :shocked::laughing::laughing::laughing:

Our kids have already run into issues with "friends" so they have heard the speech, more than once, about picking your friends carefully and not letting them get you into trouble. Hopefully, now that the oldest is in high school, we can avoid any serious "friends" related issues. <FingersCrossed> I managed to avoid this problem for the most part. Barely, I now realize.

As others have said, I think if you flat out tell him to avoid certain friends, he will stick with them to spite you and to show he is his own boss. This is where stating that he will be an adult soon and that if he takes the wrong path, it will all be on him and there ain't nothing mommy or daddy can do about it. So called friends will drop you like its hot after leading you down a path you should not go. On the other hand, if he is living at home, Mommy and Daddy still set some rules like curfew, chores, etc. If he don't like it, well, as I was told, "Don't let the door hit you in the a..ss on the way out." :shocked::laughing::laughing::laughing:

Parenting ain't easy that is for sure. I tell my kids that my hair was not white/gray until I had them.

It does amazes me how kids, from the same parents, raised the same way, can be so danged different. :shocked::laughing::laughing::laughing: I see it in other families and it ours. Even if there was a Child Owners Manual, kids are so different that parents have to use different approaches with each kid. What works with one child might not work, or worse, might cause more problems, with another kid. Tain't easy being a Mommy or Daddy.

My parents were here for Christmas and our oldest got into a "discussion" with Grandpa. :laughing::laughing::laughing: I loved it! It was the same back and forth between them that used to happen between my dad and I. :shocked::laughing::laughing::laughing: I just sat back and laughed. Grandpa even used the same words on our oldest as he used to call me at that age! :laughing::laughing::laughing:

Later,
Dan

 

[jerrybob]

Some good advice above......nobody has all the answers unfortunately......just remember......a teenager has all the faults his parents outgrew.......you and your boy will be fine......good luck!:thumbsup: