Resonsibilty for your step kids?

[Retiredguy2]

Current wife of 3 years has a pair of daughters aged 28 and 32 who are muddling through life and want to return to college to get more education. Both have a 2 year degree and middling jobs, but they both want to go back to college and hopefully get a step up the ladder. My spouse cannot afford to finance them without a loan but I easily can pay for the schooling. Now... if you were me would you spend the bucks? Gray area here I know, although the kid's dads are in the background neither of them is worth a (bleep) and cannot help. So.....if you were me would you help them. Thanks for input.

 

[tow653]

If you would do it for your biological kids do it for your step children.

 

[roadhunter]

It might be really rewarding to give them the opportunity to better their lives and watch them succeed. It might also be really frustrating if things dont' go as planned or work out like everyone had hoped. I sense that you are frustrated with them at this point with your "meddling" comment. Probably one of those situations where having a good understanding of expectations up front from both sides might payoff in the end. Lots of input from your wife on this as the last thing you want is for this to cause you problems at home.

There are also plenty of student loan programs so maybe letting them finance that portion of the education and you provide help in another way might work out better while letting them have some "skin in the game".

 

[rdinatal]

At ages 28 and 32 continuing education is their responsibility. Yes, that's the same for my biologicals too. I paid for primary and continuing education/trade right out of High School any more is on them.

This could put you out of some serious $ and not go anywhere for them as they have nothing in it.

Right now my retirement is priority.

-R

 

[hawkeye08]

I don't know if you helped raise them or not, but my experience is that people do better when they earn something. When I was in college, the ones that had their parents paying were the ones not really applying themselves and the ones that were paying their own way were working hard to get good grades and pass all their classes. My 3 daughters paid their way, we paid for books and as long as they lived at home, we provided a car and paid gas and insurance and maintenance and tires... wow, after typing that, we did help our daughters, but they paid the tuition. the youngest had a student loan that we paid off and then she paid us monthly.

Perhaps you could provide them a low interest loan that they would pay back?

 

[Shaneard]

I think if you are 28 or 32 and you want to go back to school it should be on your dime, not your parents or step parents. If you do this, what will it be next? Car? House? etc, etc.

 

[Retiredguy2]

It might be really rewarding to give them the opportunity to better their lives and watch them succeed. It might also be really frustrating if things dont' go as planned or work out like everyone had hoped. I sense that you are frustrated with them at this point with your "meddling" comment. Probably one of those situations where having a good understanding of expectations up front from both sides might payoff in the end. Lots of input from your wife on this as the last thing you want is for this to cause you problems at home.

There are also plenty of student loan programs so maybe letting them finance that portion of the education and you provide help in another way might work out better while letting them have some "skin in the game".

My feelings are: I could go to the casino in Mt. Pleasant and win big, or lose even bigger. My spouse and I have talked about the situation a lot. She and I agree on it...to me, having no kids of my own but always paying a huge amount of school taxes since 1975 makes me wonder. You know...I so want my stepkids to better their lives but WHERE do you draw the line? My feeling are: If you have 100 grand in a 457 plan that basically does nothing...does it make more sense to spend it before it is gone? Hence my query. Thanks for the input given here.

 

[dalroo]

If you are so inclined, have them take out loans and as they successfully complete a class or semester help with the loan payment. that way you know they are following throug and you aren't stuck with wasted upfront tuition.

 

[zzvyb6]

I would do in with a few reasonable conditions: Get the degree in something worthwhile. Art History isn't worthwhile to me. Get a skill that will be valuable to all of you: medicine, law, veterenary, MBA stuff. The payback comes in many forms later, including care when you will need help in your old age. It will also give your wife something else to admire about you. I happen to know how this works. Don't hold it against them. Going back to school after all those wasted years will be tough.

 

[bcp]

If you are so inclined, have them take out loans and as they successfully complete a class or semester help with the loan payment. that way you know they are following throug and you aren't stuck with wasted upfront tuition.

Reward grades, not attendance.

Bruce