Resonsibilty for your step kids?

   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #21  
If you would do it for your biological kids do it for your step children.
Agree
I think if you are 28 or 32 and you want to go back to school it should be on your dime, not your parents or step parents. If you do this, what will it be next? Car? House? etc, etc.
Is the expectation they will pay you back somehow?

If you are so inclined, have them take out loans and as they successfully complete a class or semester help with the loan payment. that way you know they are following throug and you aren't stuck with wasted upfront tuition.
I give loans to our children at rates I could get in a savings account. Thus the interest for the last decade has been about 0.

At age 28 and 32 they are will into adulthood. Let them work and go to school part-time. They only have two years of credits to earn.

Enough of the "parents should support me" at age 28 and age 30.
Depends, is it supporting or giving a leg up?

Perhaps cosign a loan for them?
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #22  
I came out of retirement for insurance and college costs.

I don't expect anything from the monies that went to either.

I can only hope, that when I am "drooling" that one of those kids will be around for me. I doubt the insurance will.

I don't hold any labels to the kids/adults of second marriages, they are your kids/adults now.
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #23  
Talk it over with your wife. Decide for yourself. Remember- helping them out does not mean you own them. This economy sucks. It is good to get the education when you can. Older students are usually more mature than younger students. You may enjoy helping them - but just like going to the casino- only stake the amount you don't mind losing. Loans within family don't usually get paid back. If you do give them the help, be specific and clear what you expect. It will help them with their planning. Find out how much they will need - might be more than you think. Get it itemized. School is 10x more expensive than it was when we were kids - and now that the government is tapping into SS payments to pay off old school loans - helping people out means all the more.
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids?
  • Thread Starter
#24  
I came out of retirement for insurance and college costs.

I don't expect anything from the monies that went to either.

I can only hope, that when I am "drooling" that one of those kids will be around for me. I doubt the insurance will.

I don't hold any labels to the kids/adults of second marriages, they are your kids/adults now.

SO WELL expressed on your part....know what? I do not have any children of my own because my first wife could not bear kids and love what you say about "labels" as regards second marriages. I told my second wife at the altar "I will love your children like they are mine...."

Thank you for making me remember that !!
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #25  
Something you might consider: When I went to college straight out of HS, my parents worked out a deal with me. They paid a portion of my tuition each semester based on my GPA from the previous semester. If I got a 4.0 (never did) it was paid in full. I was more of a B student so 3/4 = 75% of tuition paid. It inspired me to work hard.
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids?
  • Thread Starter
#26  
Something you might consider: When I went to college straight out of HS, my parents worked out a deal with me. They paid a portion of my tuition each semester based on my GPA from the previous semester. If I got a 4.0 (never did) it was paid in full. I was more of a B student so 3/4 = 75% of tuition paid. It inspired me to work hard.

Good point..my parents basically did the same thing back in 1970. But did I care back then then about a 4.0 average...bleep no !! Just saying here that for newbie here on TBN you make an excellent observation and I thank you for your input. BTW I was a "C" student in college....
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #27  
SO WELL expressed on your part....know what? I do not have any children of my own because my first wife could not bear kids and love what you say about "labels" as regards second marriages. I told my second wife at the altar "I will love your children like they are mine...."

Thank you for making me remember that !!
Remember, loving your children and enabling them are 2 different things.
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #28  
Remember, loving your children and enabling them are 2 different things.

Yes, but that enablement can lead to the best of things. It's a slippery slope, and every person is special.
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids? #29  
If you would do it for your biological kids do it for your step children.

A 28 and 32 yoa should be out on their own. Be nice to help them ouit but it should be by a signed loan agreement. We aren't talking aobut dependant children here.
 
   / Resonsibilty for your step kids?
  • Thread Starter
#30  
A 28 and 32 yoa should be out on their own. Be nice to help them ouit but it should be by a signed loan agreement. We aren't talking aobut dependant children here.

Just saying here that my spouse goes way out of her duties here to take care of the grandkids for one of her daughters. And it reminds me that when I was 30 years old, my dad tried to help me with rebuilding my house. Tell me...the older I become, the more I realize how much many of today's children actually NEED financial help in many ways. What actually determines dependency? BTW my wifes daughter has 3 kids to care for and I do not in any way try to run nor influence her daughter's life. If I can help, so be it.
 

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