Ofenback, you sound realistic enough to get the job done. It's just going to take looking in some unconventional & different places. You've got the land & that's the important thing.
Shucks, I'd like a Kubota U-55 myself. An excavator beats the pants off of any TLB for digging. But like you say, it isn't going to happen in most budgets.
When we had just bought our land and needed a machine but had not much cash money we started looking at ads 100 miles away in farm country and bought an old Ag tractor with a loader. It ran fine, but everything was worn. The corn farmer we got it from was using it as a stationary power source to drive a PTO-powered irrigation pump. He had parked it for that duty basically because it needed tires, & he had a newer tractor for field work. 2WD was OK because all those Ag tractors have massive traction at low speed. After all, traction in sloppy soil is what an Ag tractor is all about. Even the 2wd ones are scary impressive.
The tractor was $4K & tires & a battery another grand. I found a big heavy 3-way 3pt back blade at a local used implement dealer for another 2 thou. That was a score. My friend's 33 hp compact tractor couldn't even lift that blade on his 3pt, much less drag it in the ground. By contrast, our funky old ag tractor barely even noticed that blade was back there.
Then came the backhoe. In not much time we found several to choose from in the 2 to 4K range. We ended up with a medium small Bradco brand 3pt hoe - which turned out to be big enough.
In farming country there are always used 3pt hitch-mounted hoes on the market as well as a ready market for used ones. The trick there is that it takes something with the weight and beef of an Ag tractor to handle even a smallish real hoe on a 3pt hitch. And you have to be willing to put up with the inconvenience of the tractor and hoe not really being made to to complement each other. For example, ag tractor seats don't spin around and wouldn't do any good even if they did. You have to position the tractor, set the brakes, and climb down off the tractor.....walk around to the backhoe (which has it's own seat) - and then climb up on it, lower the stabilizers....dig for 5 minutes and then undo & repeat the whole operation in reverse to advance a few feet. But it sure beats a shovel.....
We used that Ag tractor with the blade and hoe for 15 years & got a lot of work done. Downsides are that it is a big old awkward tractor that took a dozen different arm and foot motions to get turned around. Working it was a workout in itself. This wasn't a machine made to be convenient. But the power & reliability were awesome. We eventually saved enough money to buy the machine of our dreams...a compact Kubota TLB
M59.
So there are options. It's just that those farm oriented Ag tractors and their heavy implements aren't part of the 4wd compact tractor world. But they are common enough at rural farming communitiy tractor dealers and in rural newspaper ads.
My advice if you go the unconventional route is to choose the smallest and most rugged 3pt backhoe of the ones that find. And BE SURE TO TURN THE AUTOMATIC DRAFT CONTROL to OFF! when using a 3pt hoe.
Luck,
rScotty