Can someone translate this?

[3 Horse Ranch]

Chinglish is usually entertaining even if it isn't very informative.

 

[Jac65]

Its been a long time since heard those words (Takes long slow deep drag off of a cigarette---slow exhale) It was just after the Great War ended we all came out of it with our bodies damnified, and there weren't a man among us that hadn't felt the swirlqueasiness on the trip back...

 

[zzvyb6]

So, it s IS a sex toy. !

 

[the old grind]

Inversion table?

 

[dodge man]

So is all you men’s making funny of my englishnish?? My all exhaltdness leader only has the most bestest educational learned instructors teacherness. My label is just to halt dumbness and perjury to your body.

 

[3 Horse Ranch]

I say it is a exercise cycle or maybe a rowing machine.

I was thinking a treadmill.

 

[Cougsfan]

I think it is a machine that replaces doctors for doing open heart surgery.

 

[Jstpssng]

I think it is a machine that replaces doctors for doing open heart surgery.

NOW you’re scaring me!!!

 

[Wagtail]

So is all you men’s making funny of my englishnish?? My all exhaltdness leader only has the most bestest educational learned instructors teacherness. My label is just to halt dumbness and perjury to your body.

Struth! Quite often I have to pause and re-interpret US-American spellings and, outright, words!

 

[Oaktree]

At least they used full words. No more challenging than translating millennial-speak or text messaging lingo.