Useless as a screen door [or window] on a submarine.
Useless as a left-handed waffle turner.
Useful as a pocket on a shirt.
Busier than a 3-legged cat coverin' up on a marble floor
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger
Flat out like a lizard drinkin'.
As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
If a cat had a square butt, it might lay gold bricks.
If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's butt.
Then there's so many euphemisms for appearance:
Sticks out like dogs' balls.
She was so ugly;
she could make a freight train take a dirt road.
If ugly was a bicycle, she'd be a 10 speed.
she could snag lightning 10 feet underground.
her mama fed her with a slingshot.
her mama tied a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Or judging intelligence:
His elevator don't go all the way to the top.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
Just about as sharp as a bowling ball.
He reminds me of Paul Revere's ride, a little light in the belfry. (Foghorn Leghorn / Mel Blanc)
Or sobriety:
Drunk as a wobbly bicycle.
3 sheets in the wind
Useless as a left-handed waffle turner.
Useful as a pocket on a shirt.
Busier than a 3-legged cat coverin' up on a marble floor
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger
Flat out like a lizard drinkin'.
As nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.
If a cat had a square butt, it might lay gold bricks.
If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump it's butt.
Then there's so many euphemisms for appearance:
Sticks out like dogs' balls.
She was so ugly;
she could make a freight train take a dirt road.
If ugly was a bicycle, she'd be a 10 speed.
she could snag lightning 10 feet underground.
her mama fed her with a slingshot.
her mama tied a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
Or judging intelligence:
His elevator don't go all the way to the top.
The lights are on, but nobody's home.
Just about as sharp as a bowling ball.
He reminds me of Paul Revere's ride, a little light in the belfry. (Foghorn Leghorn / Mel Blanc)
Or sobriety:
Drunk as a wobbly bicycle.
3 sheets in the wind
