So You made me learn, I hate not knowing things. I have it figured out
pressure comes in from P port on block, goes through loader, comes out of PB, goes to back, goes into back hoe, or goes back up to front of tractor and connects on N port (circled before), the other line comes from loader Tank return, and backhoe return which is tied in at the loader valve tank return, shown in the second photo on post 25, you can also see the 2 lines coupled in the attach photo on this post as well
The N/PB in the block, is what feeds the 3pt, no pressure there, no 3pt. I finally understand this.
another edit, I was wondering why tank return didn't need a check valve, I assume (someone correct me), that the quick disconnect stops the flow through the splitter and forces it back to the tank.
based on all this, i still believe all you need to do is remove the plug in the p port on the relief/distribution valve