Gad! House buying today

[paulsharvey]

just purchased my first home, the survey threw up a few things but was deemed to be structurally sound and okay for its age. I knew it would need some things doing but accepted it for the price. However I’ve moved in now and the weight of being a first time homeowner, my existing anxiety issues and being in a new environment have taken their toll on me all of a sudden. The house doesn’t feel homely, I suddenly really dislike it and am looking at every single surface and panicking that there’s something hugely wrong with the house. I feel scared to be in here and wish so much that I hadn’t bought this place, but now it’s too late. I just wondered if anyone has felt the same and how I can move past this? I feel my anxiety is making me unwell. my thoughts seem to focus on either the house falling down or if I discover something where it’s unsaleable one day. (Full survey was done and mortgage lender had no issues so maybe I’m being totally unreasonable here) Any advice would be gladly received, right now I just dislike the house so much and am so afraid of what I’ve done and if I’ve made a huge mistake. It’s making me feel so sick.

We made a 3 tier list when we purchased our house (which was close to same cost as rent)
1st Tier: things we had to do before moving in, like removing the maroon shag carpet in the bathroom, fixing the porch steps
2nd Tier: things we would (hopefuly) do in the first year; replace entire porch, redo hall bathroom floors; admittedly most of this list is done now. after 16 years
3rd Tier: things we would like to do when we had spare time and spare money; this was mostly a wish list; and we learn to not notice the pink formica countertops

Basically what I'm saying; there are certain things that do Need done; but you can learn to live with a lot; this is a Long term project, that you only will finish when you sell it eventually. That's not ment to be intimidating; just as money is available, pick 1 small thing per month that can be finished in an afternoon for $100; and maybe 1 time per year, pick a week long project that costs like $1000. Over the course of 5/10 years, it will be a totally different home than it is today.

 

[paulsharvey]

@geteh I'll admit I did a quick check on your posts, and found one about HVAC recently. If things are tight, there is nothing wrong with 2 or 3 window units; they aren't nearly as inefficient as they used to be (bit noisy); and cheap, maybe $150-300 per. For a first time homebuyer; unless your money is better than mine; just make things work for you. Dont worry about the latest and greatest; or what the neighbors do. The first step is to get your feet under you.

If you don't do a lot of handyman kinda work, I would highly suggest watching some repair videos for things that do come up. If you have common sense, some minor abilities, and some stubborn perseverance, the average person can do a lot for themselves.

Also, some things can be a bit wrong, you donr have to react to everything, have a beer, or sip some coffee and watch the birds. You can't become a slave to the house.


Edir; I said Repair videos, not remodel or flip or HGTV videos,

 

[paulsharvey]

Also, with something like a home, especially a rehab kinda deal; you got to be on the same team with the wife/partner/whatever. Understand your own abilities, use your friends wisely, and all that.

I HATE to ask for help, but am more than willing to help others, but that is a weakness. I've helped a friend recarpet his barn to apartment project, helped install a septic tank, helped build barns, ect for friends, for nothing more than some free beer. Not saying you can get 4 or 5 guys to come re-sheetrock a whole house, but 24 cold beers, and some hotdogs and burgers will get you a lot of help.

 

[goeduck]

just purchased my first home, the survey threw up a few things but was deemed to be structurally sound and okay for its age. I knew it would need some things doing but accepted it for the price. However I’ve moved in now and the weight of being a first time homeowner, my existing anxiety issues and being in a new environment have taken their toll on me all of a sudden. The house doesn’t feel homely, I suddenly really dislike it and am looking at every single surface and panicking that there’s something hugely wrong with the house. I feel scared to be in here and wish so much that I hadn’t bought this place, but now it’s too late. I just wondered if anyone has felt the same and how I can move past this? I feel my anxiety is making me unwell. my thoughts seem to focus on either the house falling down or if I discover something where it’s unsaleable one day. (Full survey was done and mortgage lender had no issues so maybe I’m being totally unreasonable here) Any advice would be gladly received, right now I just dislike the house so much and am so afraid of what I’ve done and if I’ve made a huge mistake. It’s making me feel so sick.

I am sure the house is not going to fall down. There will be imperfections on every house, but you have TIME to work on them or let them be. We moved into our current house in 2016 and there are still items I need to do. Don't panic, just take care of what you can afford and realize not everything you see as imperfect will even be noticed by someone else. Enjoy your home.

 

[ultrarunner]

Also, with something like a home, especially a rehab kinda deal; you got to be on the same team with the wife/partner/whatever. Understand your own abilities, use your friends wisely, and all that.

I HATE to ask for help, but am more than willing to help others, but that is a weakness. I've helped a friend recarpet his barn to apartment project, helped install a septic tank, helped build barns, ect for friends, for nothing more than some free beer. Not saying you can get 4 or 5 guys to come re-sheetrock a whole house, but 24 cold beers, and some hotdogs and burgers will get you a lot of help.

Over the years since college I have helped many from shingling roofs and finishing concrete to painting, etc.

It didn’t occur to me that reciprocation might expire but people age, have health issues, move or expire.

Time marched on and making sure the roof don’t leak, toilets flush, HVAC is dependable are my priorities.

Decorating, energy upgrades, landscape are more wish list…

My parents were very frugal but dad had standards like a good roof with top line materials number 1

 

[Hay Dude]

I am just finishing up the details on selling my home of 16 years. Lots of memories here of raising the kids. Kind of the main/important years of our family's life.
Moving into a rental house until we find what we’re looking for. Wife and I toured a few and came to the conclusion that “there’s no place like home”.
Talk about stressful. Least the kids are now young adults and can help lol

 

[paulsharvey]

Funny, sad , upsetting | Salvador Cortez | Absolute Mortgage Group Inc | mrdavidangelo · Original audio

Funny, sad , upsetting. mrdavidangelo · Original audio

www.facebook.com

 

[CloverKnollFarms]

I think it's a combination of post inflation cash depletion, high home prices, and interest rates are the icing. If you look at the cost of a home in relation to household income, it's wildly different than the early 80s. Homes were cheap in relation to household income back then.

 

[Dftodd]

I am just finishing up the details on selling my home of 16 years. Lots of memories here of raising the kids. Kind of the main/important years of our family's life.
Moving into a rental house until we find what we’re looking for. Wife and I toured a few and came to the conclusion that “there’s no place like home”.
Talk about stressful. Least the kids are now young adults and can help lol

We went through the same thing a couple years ago. Finding a rental was super frustrating.

Toured a bunch and then found out there were 30 other people touring the same place. Reminded me of recess as a kid waiting to get picked for a team to play kick ball

The other issue was having a large dog that fell into the list of banned breeds that excluded us from 90% of the properties.

We finally located a property manager last minute who had nice properties and didn't care about the pooch.

 

[paulsharvey]

We went through the same thing a couple years ago. Finding a rental was super frustrating.

Toured a bunch and then found out there were 30 other people touring the same place. Reminded me of recess as a kid waiting to get picked for a team to play kick ball

The other issue was having a large dog that fell into the list of banned breeds that excluded us from 90% of the properties.

We finally located a property manager last minute who had nice properties and didn't care about the pooch.

Back in 2007, me and wife had just got married maybe 6-9 months before, and I had just left a travel construction job, and landed a local construction superintendent job. We had moved and rented every 6-18 months for like 3 years; and we always had the dog issue. She had a rotti-jack Russell mix (yep, I know...) and we had a dobberman. Was always a fight to find something that would allow large or 'restricted' breed dogs. That's kinda how we ended up buying our first home; heck, now I don't Have to move every few months, and rent vs mortage are same-same; and less BS.