Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[ArlyA]

We are heading back up to the house dearest grew up in and pick up the remnants still there on Saturday but we will need to stay for a few days. On the way up we'll pick up that used 16ft trailer we purchased. This might be the last time up there. Our house has box's of family stuff she needs to go through. Its been a long road descending into dementia, then their deaths and all the drama associated with that. The house went back on the market and cleaning out there and here, goes on.

 

[MossRoad]

We are heading back up to the house dearest grew up in and pick up the remnants still there on Saturday but we will need to stay for a few days. On the way up we'll pick up that used 16ft trailer we purchased. This might be the last time up there. Our house has box's of family stuff she needs to go through. Its been a long road descending into dementia, then their deaths and all the drama associated with that. The house went back on the market and cleaning out there and here, goes on.

Good luck finishing up. I recall going through my parents house with my siblings after my folks had passed. Lots of memories (and lots of 'stuff'). Took us several months of weekends to get it into shape to sell.

One thing my dad told us before he passed was to not feel obligated to keep the house for sentimental reasons. It was his dream to build it. It might become your nightmare to keep it. "Go make your own memories." was his final word on the house.

It was very kind of him, as it released us from any guilt we might have felt for selling it.

 

[Runner]

Just before I sold my parent's house (that I grew up in and that they built themselves) I did a last walk-through and took detailed photos of everything. In a way it's sad, seeing it empty like that, but I also like to be able to look back at it and see how it was. Lot's of little details that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but are good memories for me.

If you haven't done it already, you might think about doing it before it's too late.

 

[ultrarunner]

Good luck finishing up. I recall going through my parents house with my siblings after my folks had passed. Lots of memories (and lots of 'stuff'). Took us several months of weekends to get it into shape to sell.

One thing my dad told us before he passed was to not feel obligated to keep the house for sentimental reasons. It was his dream to build it. It might become your nightmare to keep it. "Go make your own memories." was his final word on the house.

It was very kind of him, as it released us from any guilt we might have felt for selling it.

A friend with an extensive auto collection including Cords, etc. told his kids don’t be sentimental and sell while selling is good…

 

[California]

A friend with an extensive auto collection including Cords, etc. told his kids don’t be sentimental and sell while selling is good…

That was good advice. If the kids aren't car fanatics like their dad.

In my case Dad saw the stock market declining as the dot-com bubble of Y2K began to shrink, and advised me immediately upon his death, to sell everything we had transferred into his Fidelity account. I did, in a single online transaction with Fidelity logged into his account. This avoided some losses.

But what we hadn't expected was the American agent representing Vodaphone of Britain, which had bought PacBell's mobile division, wouldn't accept the Sell order from Fidelity. I phoned, they said they were governed by British law and the sell order could only come directly from the stockholder. Then they rejected everything I mailed to them as Executor. Agent said I needed a British lawyer to represent me in a British probate court. WTF!!?? Finally I got some good advice from someone at their US representative: All they needed to sell, was a phone call from my decease Dad (wink wink) to sell and close the position. I phoned, answered the security questions correctly, and the sale went through. Down several thousand $ during that delay. I think they had been preventing sales any way they could just to stem the disastrous drop in their stock price. Bah.

I'm now giving my kids the same advice: Sell immediately. That won't be a time to speculate on short term market movements. But I need to get them familiar with our Fidelity account details. Hopefully that will be long in the future.

 

[ultrarunner]

Friend with the collection owned all the cars through his retirement account… done at a time when such things as collectibles were possible…

He really enjoyed them… had a lift with lube rack and a working gas pump to keep the vehicles topped off.

Being a builder of industrial and institutional buildings he had done well through the California boom years…

His mind was going and he was able to realize it pretty early on and let the kids know just make sure I’m cared for liquidate as you necessary…

He slowly faded away but never became delusional…

The kids did sell the cars one by one and then the commercial warehouse housing the collection…