Advice from the voice of EXPERIENCE !!

[rox]

Do not under any circumstances put out even just a lil bit warm fireplace ashes for the garbage man to pick up.
The garbage truck might just maybe catch on fire.

Similarly do not use the house central vacuum system to vacuum out the fireplace [see above] if ashes are even just a lil bit warm.

 

[Wakey]

Here's one that's not funny. I always slow down to wildlife speed when driving country roads after dark. Usually that means 45 mph with my brights on, even slower in bad visibility. Cars have hit a dozen deer on the road to my house. A couple of them messed up the car so badly it required a tow truck.

We have 1 section near me where most of the accidents happen. I set the cruise control and hover my foot on the brake while my hand is on the horn. I hit a turkey vulture the other day. He smeared some oily feathers on my windshield but no damage.

 

[teg]

No matter how funny you might think it is, On April 1st, do not ask your girlfriend to marry you...

I still to this day, 27 years later, can not pull an April fool's joke....

Someone said, the best April Fool's joke my wife could have said was, "Good, I'm pregnant!!"

 

[oosik]

Do not use your wife's expensive vacuum cleaner to suck the ashes out of your pellet stove. I had waited 24 hours for everything to die down. Three things happened when I did:

1) the vacuum became a roaring, fire-breathing jet engine
2) the house filled with smoke, soot and ash
3) the new vacuum was a LOT more expensive than the one it replaced

 

[teg]

Always remember to remove the pto shaft when you disconnect ... ...could bend the shaft so bad you need a new one.

Twice did this... :mur:

 

[Howling]

No mater how small the task always wear gloves when using the sand blaster.

 

[mapper]

Here's one that's not funny. I always slow down to wildlife speed when driving country roads after dark. Usually that means 45 mph with my brights on, even slower in bad visibility. Cars have hit a dozen deer on the road to my house. A couple of them messed up the car so badly it required a tow truck.

Been there done that - twice. Next time you find yourself in Montana in the Clark Fork region check out what the locals drive and play count the road kill game. I have never seen so many deer as we saw on a trip back there, we arrived at night and the number of eyes along the road was amazing. Just about every pickup and SUV sports a heavy brush guard type front bumper.

 

[Gunny]

If you're in the garden, tying up tomato plants with the help of your 4 year old grandson and he tells you that he lost the ball of jute twine he was holding, then it begins to rain and you just think you'll find the twine later on, that only works if your intent is to find it a few days later with your rear tine tiller.

 

[turnkey4099]

If you're in the garden, tying up tomato plants with the help of your 4 year old grandson and he tells you that he lost the ball of jute twine he was holding, then it begins to rain and you just think you'll find the twine later on, that only works if your intent is to find it a few days later with your rear tine tiller.

Or a hunk of baler twine with your lawnmower.

 

[Gunny]

Or you use a bush hog to find that 200 foot length of electric fence wire that you'd forgotten about

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Or you use a bush hog to find that 200 foot length of electric fence wire that you'd forgotten about

I know someone who found a strand of ancient barbed wire with his post hole digger, taking off the leg of an immigrant worker who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

[lennyzx11]

Don't use 1 3/4" screws to fasten two pieces of 3/4" wood together. On top of wife's heirloom dining table one cold rainy morning while she's gone.

Don't try to deny it a week later after she realizes the tablecloth had already been changed somehow for the week.

 

[GAFarmer2]

Alright, this happened to me this week....

When changing oil, just because you pick up a gallon jug from your "oil stash", do not assume it is what it is marked to be. It may be hydraulic oil in a 15w-40 gallon jug you "transferred" from a bucket for easier pouring. Did you know hydraulic oil doesn't build good oil pressure in a diesel motor?

 

[DaveNJ]

Don't use 1 3/4" screws to fasten two pieces of 3/4" wood together. On top of wife's heirloom dining table one cold rainy morning while she's gone.

Don't try to deny it a week later after she realizes the tablecloth had already been changed somehow for the week.

Always deny. Never confess.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Don't use 1 3/4" screws to fasten two pieces of 3/4" wood together. On top of wife's heirloom dining table one cold rainy morning while she's gone.

Don't try to deny it a week later after she realizes the tablecloth had already been changed somehow for the week.

Ouch..

 

[crash325]

If you have strike anywhere matches in your pocket.
Be very careful what & how you put something else in.

 

[Dftodd]

If you have strike anywhere matches in your pocket.
Be very careful what & how you put something else in.

HOT TAMALES!!!!!! Get them while they are hot!!!!!

 

[TemporaryKubotaOwnerMark]

If you have strike anywhere matches in your pocket.... you are doing it wrong.

 

[Dftodd]

Just because they make something in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it out in public :yuck::vomit: :shocked:

Wife and I experienced this first hand last weekend at the water park with our grandkids.

 

[1965]

Just because they make something in your size, doesn't mean you should wear it out in public :yuck::vomit: :shocked:

Wife and I experienced this first hand last weekend at the water park with our grandkids.

It's spandex..... not expandex.:laughing: