Are my parents to strict?

[Cub124]

Realizing that your turning from their church will cause a rift with your parents is very important. A question you have to ask, and try to guess at the answer, is would it be better to talk to your parents about having them loosen the reigns a bit now that you are 18 or is it better to not ask. Only you can decide what to do but think it through carefully.

These are certainly reasonable things for you to do but realize that not all teenagers are allowed to do these things and being a JW has nothing to do with it. I knew kids growing up that could not date, could not socialize without a parent, nor could they hold a job. They were not JW either. Once they got into their late teens the restrictions were lifted somewhat. Parents put restrictions on kids for a variety of reasons not always religious. At 18 you should be able to do what you have listed as far as I am concerned but I ain't your parents.

Your problem is simple. You are 18, a legal adult, dependent on your parents, yet not liking their rules, and wanting to have some freedom. Nothing wrong with that at all, and from what you have said, I think your parents are too restrictive. The solution to your problem is not simple. Since you do not have a means to support yourself you have to accept your parents rules or find a means to support yourself. Joining the USAF will allow you to escape your situation but will the AF really help you reach the goals you have set for yourself? Or should you suck it up for a couple of years and get the training and certifications you have lined up? The third choice is to talk with your parents, but you seem to think that could be a problem, and it may be depending on how you approach the conversation. Those are NOT easy decisions, but being an adult means having to make hard decisions, and living with the results.

Can you approach you parents and ask about getting a job now that you are 18? I don't think you should ask them all at once What you are requesting is more than reasonable, but from a negotiation standpoint, start with the most reasonable request.

If you cannot talk to them about this situation, then you are back to living with the situation until you get your certifications or joining the USAF. Those are the two options you have outlined.

The word "scared" and "talking" can have many meanings. If you cannot talk to your parents, can you write out what you wish to do, and why, instead of talking? You are very articulate in writing, and I think you could make an excellent case for getting a job. A note is less confrontational and provides TIME for YOU to put down all of your arguments in defense of your position and provides TIME for them to absorb what you said before THEY respond. Having these types of conversations can be stressful, which can lead to things being said, that should not be said, and things that should be said, being left unsaid. Writing them out can make things a bit easier.

Stand back a bit, and realize that what you are dealing with is a PITA, but not the end of the world. What you are doing is prepping your way to be an adult and you have a good plan. You are MUCH farther along than most 18 year olds. You have outlined a couple of different solutions to your problem. Both are reasonable but maybe not perfect. Life ain't perfect. At least your parents DO care about you. I have known plenty of kids whose parents have not given a rats behind about their kids.

Later,
Dan

Thank you very much for the idea about writing a note. I really like that and think it would be better. I'll think about it.

 

[Dirtdeere]

Take your panties off, put some boxers on and get out of that mind bending religion you're in. Even Mormons get to use the Facebook. You know what you need to do. Do it. Don't let anyone on this planet walk on you. That's not the way it works in the real world. You need to attend some college classes and mingle with people your own age(chicks) that aren't in that crazy religion. Join the military and get firefighter training there. Just get out of that house. They're ruining you

Well put. Get on with it. And lose the cult!

 

[Bubbanewf]

Cult? Maybe he is Amish!

If you will truly lose the love of your family by going off on your own, then you have to think hard . You could regret it the rest of your life. But, if your leaving on your own will just upset them for a while , they will likely get over it.
I graduated HS, was in boot camp two weeks later. Rode submarines and then became a police officer. Got a pension at 43 years of age. It was rough leaving that young but I got thirty years of laid back on a farm out of it and still going.
Yes, it would be nice to be an officer, but if you are not that kind of student or have no wishes to find scholarships etc to go to college, there is nothing wrong with being an enlisted man in the service. Go to some military training schools whether they are fire fighting or not and you may find something else you would like to do for the rest of your life.
In boot camp, you will get a taste of firefighting. You will be herded into a smoke filled building and have to stay in it for so many minutes before they let you out. Thats just to give you that taste! You get to put out some oil fires and such too.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

 

[wcampbell47]

With this kid's smarts he could easily be an officer. In another post I mentioned attending an honor military academy for an AA degree. A number of those schools have direct appointments to the service academies. Attend one year, do well and receive an appointment to a service academy. His education would then be on us. He would graduate with a degree, immediately have a job and a career if he so chose. A degree from one of the Academies is about a $300K education. Just saying.

 

[Cub124]

Cult? Maybe he is Amish!

If you will truly lose the love of your family by going off on your own, then you have to think hard . You could regret it the rest of your life. But, if your leaving on your own will just upset them for a while , they will likely get over it.
I graduated HS, was in boot camp two weeks later. Rode submarines and then became a police officer. Got a pension at 43 years of age. It was rough leaving that young but I got thirty years of laid back on a farm out of it and still going.
Yes, it would be nice to be an officer, but if you are not that kind of student or have no wishes to find scholarships etc to go to college, there is nothing wrong with being an enlisted man in the service. Go to some military training schools whether they are fire fighting or not and you may find something else you would like to do for the rest of your life.
In boot camp, you will get a taste of firefighting. You will be herded into a smoke filled building and have to stay in it for so many minutes before they let you out. Thats just to give you that taste! You get to put out some oil fires and such too.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

No I'm not Amish. I've wished I was though. I would be happier. When they get into their late teens the Amish let their kids go out in the 'world' and decide for themselves if they want to stay with the Amish faith or not. I don't even get that choice. That would be nice retiring at 43, but id have to either have a big farm or a part time job or something. I like to work and keep myself busy.

 

[Cub124]

With this kid's smarts he could easily be an officer. In another post I mentioned attending an honor military academy for an AA degree. A number of those schools have direct appointments to the service academies. Attend one year, do well and receive an appointment to a service academy. His education would then be on us. He would graduate with a degree, immediately have a job and a career if he so chose. A degree from one of the Academies is about a $300K education. Just saying.

That would be nice. I looked into them and didn't see a degree that I liked. I don't want to go to a school and get a degree in something I don't really care for.

 

[dusty3030]

College of the Ozarks

Hollister Missouri

Check it out. Go make your own way.

 

[dusty3030]

www.cofo.edu

 

[jerrybob]

Cub......it's time to move on. My advice.......If you're trying to achieve, there will always be roadblocks. I've had them and so has everybody on this forum. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it. Stop the whoa is me......step up.....make some decisions that will better your life....it's time for you to grow!! Get moving!

 

[texasjohn]

He's already following your advice, very well:thumbsup:

I've read this entire post and see a can do/will do attitude throughout combined with a prudent sense of timing, which is so key to success in any life decision. Excellent decisions are always founded on gathering good information, weighing the pros and cons of various actions, planning the realistic steps toward an objective. He's doing this right now and has been incredibly open with facts regarding his situation, his honest feelings about it and his forward looking goals. I haven't seen any self pity or whines. I do see preparation for decisions that will better HIS life and the fact that he IS doing this means he IS growing and IS moving. I think we all applaud his approach and his decision to stay where he is and complete his high school education.

I wish him well, and encourage him that when he makes a step forward it be along a planned path that has realistic chances of leading him to his goal. An impulsive step into the unknown without resources and a place to land is fraught with danger and unpleasant consequences. He knows this and is actively planning his options and weighing their consequences. So should we all.:applause::applause:

Cub......it's time to move on. My advice.......If you're trying to achieve, there will always be roadblocks. I've had them and so has everybody on this forum. But obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work around it. Stop the whoa is me......step up.....make some decisions that will better your life....it's time for you to grow!! Get moving!