Are You a Redneck or just the opposite?

[sweettractors]

Hey, Ken, that looks like our local Redneck AAA service man!

Mine too! Don't matter how you do it, just "Get er done" Ken Sweet

 

[troutsqueezer]

My neck turns red when someone tells me where to sit, so yah.....

 

[brin]

I wonder if I might ask, how does one become a redneck ? Is there a class one must attend or a certification program ? :confused3:

 

[unbidden]

I wonder if I might ask, how does one become a redneck ? Is there a class one must attend or a certification program ? :confused3:

It's a secret society; they (the society elders) monitor you're behavior without you knowing. At a given point "they" decide if you are in or not.

Any one want to share their initiation night hazing story?

 

[deepNdirt]

I wonder if I might ask, how does one become a redneck ? Is there a class one must attend or a certification program ? :confused3:

Ha! funny you ask this, about half way between your and my location there is a city called Commerce, they hold free classes in the parking lot of walmrt each and every Saturday Night, look for the row of jacked up trucks with the large rebel flags flying from the back, I think to be accepted you must know their sign language, which is rather easy to accomplish, just pull down 3 of your fingers leaving only the longest middle finger sticking up, at least doing so seems to draw a big crowd, Even some of the police must be members because I sometimes see them in and among the crowd,

 

[shelkol]

A friend of mine refers to Tractor Supply Co. as 'Red Neck Home Depot' and I shop at Tractor Supply - nuff said

 

[kcender]

My user name is redneck spelled backwards so I guess I am a backwards redneck,whatever that is :laughing:

 

[chopped]

VERY GOOD ONE>>>>

That's why Mr. Haney always took advantage of Mr.Douglas.

 

[Ken]

Maybe this will provide somewhat of an answer.


Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

What do tornadoes, hurricanes and redneck divorces have in common?
Someone's fixin' to lose a trailer home

Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
It saves time in the long run

What do rednecks call duct tape?
Chrome.

Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar Arkansas State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

What do a divorce in Arkansas, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody is fixin' to lose them a house trailer.

What do people do with broken down cars in West Virginia?
Build a house next to them

Why do folks from Arkansas go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
17 and under are not admitted.

A new law was recently passed in Arkansas.
When a couple gets a divorce they're still brother and sister.

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
A documentary.

How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

Why did God invent armadillos?
So that rednecks can have 'possum on the half shell.

You just might be a Redneck if:

You just might be a Redneck if: You've ever tried to drown a fish.

You just might be a Redneck if: You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"

You just might be a Redneck if: Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.

You just might be a Redneck if: You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You just might be a Redneck if: More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your mother has been involved in a fist-fight at a high school sports event.

You just might be a Redneck if: None of your shirts cover your stomach.

You just might be a Redneck if: You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You just might be a Redneck if: You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You just might be a Redneck if: You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your family tree does not fork.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

You just might be a Redneck if: You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.

You just might be a Redneck if: The fifth grade is referred to as " your senior year."

You just might be a Redneck if: Three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your gene pool doesn't have a "deep end."

You just might be a Redneck if: You have the taxidermist's number on speed-dial.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.

You just might be a Redneck if: The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.

You just might be a Redneck if: You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.

You just might be a Redneck if: Your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

You just might be a Redneck if: You let you kid pee in the parking lot at K-Mart.

Did you hear that the Governors mansion in Arkansas burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.

What do they call "Hee Haw" in Kentucky?
"Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

What do you get when you have 32 Arkansasians in the same room?
A full set of teeth.

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
Nice tooth!

Friend don't know what you have against Arkansas. But most of your relivatives moved here.
And we pay taxes so your family can live the good life. Free clothes at Good Will. Free medical card for you ,yours and there kids. The plastic magic card so can purchase all needed items at wall -mart.

The school lunch program now prepares a week end meal so as to not cause undue hardship purchasing lottery
tickets at the local beer hall.
Since air Conditioning in the cars no more tobacco srains on sides of cars. just spit in soda bottle and roll back under seat. car will be repossed before needing to clean out anyway.
Most of the jokes and a lot of comments about Arkansas is from the local people living here. to disourage the
retires from moving in and wanting everything just like it was back in Michagin or NewYork. The N.Carolina group coming it is like long lost family finally getting the news of where the kids went long ago.(Somewhere there is a smile in this post)
ken

 

[brin]

It's a secret society; they (the society elders) monitor you're behavior without you knowing. At a given point "they" decide if you are in or not.

Any one want to share their initiation night hazing story?

Ha! funny you ask this, about half way between your and my location there is a city called Commerce, they hold free classes in the parking lot of walmrt each and every Saturday Night, look for the row of jacked up trucks with the large rebel flags flying from the back, I think to be accepted you must know their sign language, which is rather easy to accomplish, just pull down 3 of your fingers leaving only the longest middle finger sticking up, at least doing so seems to draw a big crowd, Even some of the police must be members because I sometimes see them in and among the crowd,

:dance1: You guys are funny.....I really think it was Lewis Grizzard, may he rest in peace , that coined the phrase " Redneck " He was a writer for the Atlanta Journal Constitution and passed away some years ago...Jeff Foxworthy has pretty much copied his act from Lewis Grizzard...at least I think that is so...maybe redneck was around before Lewis and he just added to its definition...