Craigslist translator

[caver]

So...I'm browsing CL ads and looking at construction machinery I see these actual lines in ads and it reminds me of other read between the lines stuff you see on CL.
Feel free to add your own.

What the ad says____________________________________What it really means
Seems to be a good solid machine ................................................I bought at auction and I'm just trying to double my money.
Needs some TLC..........................................................................Worn out piece of junk that should be sold for scrap

 

[bcp]

Free firewood............................Cut down my rotten tree between the house and power line. Must be certified, bonded, and insured. Keep the wood for payment.

Bruce

PS just found an example:

Remove our trees for firewood

Remove our trees for firewood



We have 3 very large and mature trees needing removal. They are some type of fir. Free wood for you with removal. Take one, take two, take three. Your choice.


Must show proof of insurance for injury liability and property damage and have done this before.

 

[caver]

new tracks new rear sprockets new top idlers new radiator new fan rebuilt torque converter ..........................................It's a money pit and I'm tired of working on it.

 

[caver]

The firewood one is a classic bcp. It is brought up frequently on the forestryforum

 

[Citydude]

$25,000.00 invested in rebuild, sacrifice for $12,500.00"................I've given up. It's still a POS.

 

[Citydude]

"Cute and cozy cottage for sale"..............forget about furniture or your cat, no room to put an army cot in the only bedroom and the cat would run away looking for more room to lay down.

 

[Mike_Kanzer]

Only used on Sundays..........................translates to couldn't get it to start on Monday thru Saturday.

 

[Green Power]

Only used on Sundays..........................translates to couldn't get it to start on Monday thru Saturday.

Ford?

 

[strum456]

Ford?

You didn't just go there??? LOL


#1 Reference to a tractor or other machinery as a "vehicle" = scam. I don't know of anyone who actually owns a tractor that calls it a "vehicle".

#2 "I was going to restore/fix it but I just don't have time". Translation: It is either too costly to be worth repairing or I have no idea what is wrong and/or how to repair it

 

[vtsnowedin]

"Yard slopes down to the waters edge"........ means shack is perched on a cliff and is in danger of sliding over.

 

[von-mil]

Machinery that was "Only used once" means ... used for one entire season.

"Like new condition" means ... not too many bent or hacked up components.

 

[grnspot110]

Ran when it was parked-----------------------No idea how long it's sat there!

 

[aczlan]

Great condition, has a rebuilt title from a minor fender bender-----------------------A vehicle history report will tell you that its been totaled twice had had to be towed both times (pictures from when it sold at auction after the first accident were still up online if you looked for the VIN)...

Aaron Z

 

[heviduty]

No title = Probably Stolen

 

[CanadianBeaverS370]

Posted for a friend .................................. Too embarrassed to admit its theirs

 

[The Fred]

Too funny.

Fred

 

[hawkeye08]

Clean carfax............................................................buy this quick before all the repair shops work is reported.

 

[Sodo]

Posted for a friend .................................. Too embarrassed to admit its theirs

I have a friend who doesn't do internet but wants me to help him sell a "Massey Ferguson" tractor loader backhoe. He has no further need for it, is all done fixing on it, is not about to touch another wrench to it. It has no title. And it's HUGE and taking up space, and runs well. Anyway wondering what I ought to write then...

 

[George2615]

$25,000.00 invested in rebuild, sacrifice for $12,500.00"................I've given up. It's still a POS.

Also known to mean I have $5000. invested but want to make it sound like you're getting a bargain.

 

[caver]

Funny stuff, keep 'em coming.