death notice

dmccarty · Feb 9, 2006

William,

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss.

I had to reread your post. When I saw 47 I thought that was the age of your wife but then it sank in you two were married for 47 years! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif That is a heck of an accomplishment! *** I am *** not even 42 yet! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

One of my neighbors cared for his wife for many years. She had demtia that got worse and worse over time. I watched the burden of being the caregiver weigh very heavy on him. And of course it got worse and worse as her illness progressed.

She died a year or so ago. I don't know how many years they had been married but it had to be over 30.

He took awhile to heal. He needed the time. But his long winter went away as did the load he bore for so many years. After he had time to rest and recover the darkness of his soul lifted along with the long burden he had carried. I would be suprised if he is totally healed inside, not sure if that is possible, but he is so much better physically. Its a night and day difference. But it took time.

He started socializing with other people by going off to local dances and performances. He did the chores he could not do over the years, fixed up his tractors, whatever he could do to keep him busy. He met a widow who had been the caregiver to her husband. They had some things in common.

He used to ride motorcycles when he was younger but he stopped because of the danger. She had wanted to learn to ride but would not because of the danger. They both have gone off to take the motorcyle safety riding classes, bought matching bikes and riding gear. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif They are enjoying life again. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

They are kinda like teenagers. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

The spent years carrying a heavy load. It took them some time to get the load off their back. But they have put the worst of it behind them and literally are moving on down the road.

Give it time. Don't rush. Heal. Then move on.

I don't know if I would recommend the motorcyle though. They scare the heck out of me. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just be careful, it might be my neighbors zooming through on those motorcycles!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Take Care,
Dan

Ridgeman · Feb 10, 2006

William,

You have my condolences as well. You have 47 years of what I'm sure are some precious memories.

I lost my wife on January 28, 2006. We only had 3 years and 2 months together and they were the very best of my life. There was no sickness or any indication anything was wrong and it happened so quickly. From the time we realized there was a problem till her death was about 45 minutes.

I know that no matter how much time you're togther, when you lose your spouse it feels as if there is a huge hole in your soul.

We didn't have the time together we would have liked but, the one thing thats helps me right now is that at least for a short time I was blessed with a woman/wife that gave her all to me as I tried to do for her.

They say time heals al things, well, I'm not sure about that but I hope it will make it bearable.

Mike

accordionman · Feb 11, 2006

RIDGEMAN,
wow, i am sorry to hear that. i know what you
are going through, and it is tough. just take it a
day at a time, and it will get better.
good luck.
accordionman
wlbrown
wright city, mo.

CT_Tree_Guy · Feb 11, 2006

Mike, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Being so recent and unexpected, things must seem unreal and hard to believe.

I think you're right that it will get more bearable, but what a shocking thing to have to go through. Maybe the loss of a loved one is somehow easier to take if there's more warning ....

Again, I am so sorry - hang in there,

John

rox · Feb 11, 2006

Ridgeman,
My sincere and heartfelt condolenes on the passing of your beloved wife.

Come back to TBN and talk about your feelings whenever you feel like it. You will receive group hugs. Here is one now, Hug-Hug.
~rox

Farmwithjunk · Feb 13, 2006

After starting to type a reply maybe 10 times, I finally decided to go ahead with it.

What can anyone say at a time like this, other than hang in there. I don't even want to think about loosing my wife. She's 90% of what makes me keep going. I can only try to imagine the pain you feel.

Just remember you have lots of friends here. That sure doesn't equal what you lost, but we'll give it our best shot.

Try to keep in mind what my father told me 2 days before his death. Be glad you knew someone you'll miss that much. Not everyone has that luxery in life.

RonR · Feb 15, 2006

My condolences to those that have lost loved ones. It is a part of my life that I am NOT looking forward to.

I commend you for going to grief counseling. My wife went through some near death medical experiences, but is doing fine now. During that time, which lasted about 10 yrs, we went to a wonderful, Christian counelor that we'd known for a long time.

His wife died from cancer when his kids were in elementary school. So he's had school knowledge plus real world knowledge.

When I went through depression, he was able to help me work through it.

To me, having a good counselor can help you through a terrible time of your life.

My best wishes to all.

Ron