do you loan your trailer out

gemini5362 · May 29, 2008

Dave you are very right. I have said this before and will continue to say it. I am very blessed that the woman I talked into marrying me in my second marriage is such a great wife. I have heard her tell her children that I am her husband and that they had their own lives and hers is with me so if they were to force her to choose they might not like the results. I have also told my kids the same thing. At the age of my wife and I ( having met pat and his wife they are in the same age group) your kids are grown and have kids of their own. There are obviously some things that your kids are going to win out in hands down over a spouse. I would not want my wife not to feel that way and she knows how I feel. For the majority of things though your spouse needs to be the person in your life that comes first. In a matter like the trailer that is time to stand up with your spouse and tell the children that they are wrong and you are not going to support their wrong behavior.

deere755 · Jun 1, 2008

Update

Well I am glad I was gone for this weekend. My wife took the truck and trailer over to help her daughter move and for some reason the boyfriend was no where to be found. They finally got a hold of him and he asks my wife do you really need my help. This really made her mad. So He shows up mad constantly complaining about how hot it was and how junkie her furniture was and running down her daughter finally my wife had enough and told him what she thought which in turn made her daughter mad. So after one load my wife told them she was going home and they could rent a u haul on there own.

Redbug · Jun 1, 2008

Wow! Good for your wife! She was honest and said what was appropriate. A little time and things will work themselves out.

TA462 · Jun 2, 2008

LOL, good for her. I've loaned my trailers out a few times and only once one of them came back damaged. The neighbour broke a tail light somehow but replaced it right away. I'm kind of picky with my stuff and don't loan my truck or my tools to anybody but I'll loan my trailers out with the understanding that if you damage it you fix it.

patrick_g · Jun 2, 2008

Well, good... fantastic, mom DOES HAVE a backbone and boyfriend knows that now (daughter needs more maturity.) Step dad needs to compliment and reward mom for "doing the right thing."

A basic principle in human psychology is that behavior that is rewarded is behavior that is repeated.

Pat

gemini5362 · Jun 2, 2008

Pat do you ring a bell when you reward that behavior. ( I wont go into how pat gets his sodas when he is working upstairs in his house.)

I told my wife about this thread and her reply was not only would I not want you to loan her the trailer if she brought it back damaged and did not offer to pay or apologize or anything. I would be mad if you offered to pay for the U-Haul next time she needed to move.

I had a friend who had a community trailer. I took him mine to fix when I wrecked it and borrowed his a few times the two years he worked on it. I broke a taillight once or twice and had to replace them. Another friend borrowed it from him and bent the hitch where it mounts to the ball. He bought him a new one but the owner did not get around to replacing it he just straightened it out and continued to use it. I got tired of trying to mess with the bent hitch so I borrowed it one weekend and bought a new bulldog hitch, all of us that borrowed it chipped in on it. Another guy we worked with helped me get the hitch on and new safety chains. I took it back to the owner and told him I had problems with the hitch again but I fixed them permanently this time. He thought I had broken it worse and said well I have the other hitch here we can just put it on. He went out and saw the new bulldog hitch and safety chains. Felt nice to help someone out that is always doing for others.

patrick_g · Jun 3, 2008

gemini5362 said:
Pat do you ring a bell when you reward that behavior. ( I wont go into how pat gets his sodas when he is working upstairs in his house.)

Transfer of reward from the initial reward to a substitute (ring of a bell) can work but it takes longer to condition someone to do much work to hear the bell. Peer interest and pressure helps in that respect in setting expectations and standards. In a grade school class, for instance, if a group of kids go to the board and add a column of figures with the first one to get a right answer getting the coveted award of having the teacher ring the bell for them, they will try much harder than if not rewarded with the bell ringing in their honor.

This sort of motivation and conditioning goes beyond Pavlov but is not that far afield.

I think my soda request and delivery system is very useful, practical, and within proper taste and civility. Pushing it would be using the intercom to direct someone from a remote area to come to the soda supply area to fulfill the system operation.

Oh, and by the way. I have only loaned out my trailer (12,000 pound all steel util trailer) one time (without me attached) and it was returned like it left except the borrower chocked the wheels nicely.

Pat