Don't shoot that squirrel!

[toppop52]

A much more effective method would have been to soak his pants with lighter fluid and set them on fire to smoke the squirrel out!

"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."{

 

[JB4310]

A much more effective method would have been to soak his pants with lighter fluid and set them on fire to smoke the squirrel out!

Well that would be a different storey, if that squirrel went up the inside of my pants I might be temped to shoot too

JB

 

[k0ua]

Hmm.. something seems a little "squirrely" here to me.. lets see. he just happened to have a .22 rifle in his hands when the squirrel ran up his left leg.. so now remember this is a rifle (long gun) so you have to hold the rifle up over your head vertical and pointing down to aim at the squirrel on your leg and manage to shoot your self in the foot.. Uh-Huh..likely story. If it is true, then the man is what Bugs Bunny would call a "Maroon"

James K0UA

 

[EddieWalker]

When I was stationed at the US Embassy in Yaounde Cameroun, me and another Marine where in the basement checking doors when a rat came out of nowhere. It charged us, went for my buddy, and ran up his leg. We where both armed with pistols, side handle battons and mace. I chose the side handle batton to try and get it off of him. I missed when it was on his leg, and then paused when it got to his crotch. He was frozen with his arms up in the air. I was frozen with my arm swung back, but unsure what to do. The rat was frozen right at his fly, and we where all just staring at each other. In hindsite, it was about the funniest thing ever, but at that split second when we didn't know what that rat was going to do, it was terrifying.

Fortunatly, the rat changed directions and went back down his leg and then under a door that had a space under it way too small for it to fit, but it barely slowed down as it went under that door. We spent the next hour or so hunting for it, but never saw it again.

A month or so later, me and that same Marine where in the hallway, in front of the Ambassadors office and a rat can running down the middle of the hallway. We saw it from a fair distance, and it didn't seem to notice we where there. Pistols where not an option, and after our last fiasco with the side handle batton, we decided to mace it.

Neither of us thought this through. As the rat ran between us, we maced it, and each other at the same time. All I can say is that stuff is PAINFUL!!!!! I have no idea what happened to that rat, but we spent the rest of the day crying and trying to wash our eyes and faces off with cold water.

Eddie

 

[jinman]

Eddie, that's a great story.:laughing::laughing::laughing:

A couple of weeks ago, my wife took our grandson to school. She pulled up in front of the school, and my grandson opened the passenger door to her van to get out. Suddenly, a tiny field mouse jumped out of the van and started running up the covered breezeway toward the front door where some students were entering the door. All my wife could think about was screaming at them to close the door. Of course, when the mouse saw them at the door, it did a 90 degree turn and ran into the grass and shrubs to hide. My wife said she was so relieved that she wasn't responsible for turning a mouse loose in the middle school.

More than any other vehicle, my wife's van seems to attract mice. They get in through the air conditioning ducts and she's had quite a few encounters with them. The mouse going to school has to be the best one yet.

 

[brin]

Back on Squirrel experiences...I have a deck out one door of my office and the Mrs. and I had just pressure washed it and stained it with semi transparent stain - I began to notice a Squirrel hanging around the deck which I can see from my desk and after a few days I walked over to the French door and looked out and the Squirrel ran off into the woods..I stepped out on the deck and noticed notches or wood were missing...a chunk here and there...so the next day I watched closely and watched the squirrel eating my deck..he would eat at the railing then go up and down the ventricles and then the deck boards themselves....I got my Ruger Mark II 22 cal. with shell shot and waited and watched from the side of the house and I finally killed that Squirrel ..the only thing I can figure is there must have been something in that fresh stain that was appetizing to him...Never have had a problem since and I used my belt sander and more stain to repair the damage ..but he would have eaten the whole deck given time...Weird huh ?

 

[jinman]

Never have had a problem since and I used my belt sander and more stain to repair the damage ..but he would have eaten the whole deck given time...Weird huh ?

Maybe the stain tasted like pecan or acorn shells.

 

[dieselalles]

Sounds like this guy was an accident waiting to happen. All the idioms apply, "Stupid as as stupid does", "Stuck on stupid", "All the lights are on but nobody's home!"

And this about takes the cake, but during the winter storm in the NorthEast recently, I read about people putting a running generator in their house to keep it from getting stolen or those that put a lit charcoal grill in their house for warmth unfortunately ended in tragedy. And I'm sure there was a tag on the product or bold letters in the manual, "Warning!! Don't do <fill in the blank>!!". I roll my eyes at some of those warnings, but I'm sure they got there for a reason.

There's a story about how on the back of a tube of Preparation "H", it says "Don't take internally!". And surely there was a guy who pondered, "I wonder what this taste like on crackers?".

All the training in the world can't fix stupid.

 

[Taylortractornut]

Back when the landfill I run now was closed when the parent company closed They bought one of dads rolloff trucks to end the contract he had. The old Sidewinder Mack spent its previous life as a mixer truck and an old pulp wood hauler. THe cab had spots in the bottom a cat could walk through. Dad made us use this truck in the winter since it was rougher than the GMC General that was the main truck. Anyway the old truck stayed parked a year til Tiffins bought the plant and landfill. We didnt have a permit to reopen yeat so all the Redbay stuff had to go to Redbay landfill. I was comming out of their dump and opened the glove box to put the weight slip in the glove box when I opened it a huge gopher rat was looking at me then jumped out and ran around the cab.

I know it was just a rat and im not scared of them but just it running around suprised me. I was stomping at him and kicking at him. About that time I lifted the old carpet I had covering up a hole in the floor. Then he balled out and last I saw was out of the mirror I saw him running the opposite way I was goin.

 

[Tractor Seabee]

With our country living and lots of evergreen tree cones all over we had our share of squirells. One day the back door was left open and one ran in the house. He ran and peed all over as we chased him. Tried everything to get him directed to the door and out again. Finally he ran up under the fireplace insert trim (summer, no fire) after beating on the steel for 15 nmin decided he was staying. Blocked up the holes. Called for help. Exterminator said we are not allowed to touch wild animals you have to call Fish and Game. They do not make house calls but steered us to a certified wild animal trapper. He came out 3 hours later, charges $100 minimum. He removed the trim piecies and the squirell jumped in his face and took off. 1 hour later he trapped him in the office behind a small safe on the floor. Shoved the safe into him and squashed the life out with blood all over. Should of charged us more but didn't. He cleaned up the blood mess. It took us a month to get rid of the urine smell spots. Moral of the story "do not leave the door open".

Found a solution after awhile; we had bird feeders all over and the squirells were decimating them, and started to eat the plastic. Bought the type with metal shields so they could not chew the plastic. 3 months later after watching them get frustrated over the shields they all moved off to greener pastures. Now they are the neighbors' problem.

Ron