Ever put your foot in your mouth?

[dstig1]

Me never! Roommate's girlfriend was over one day (we were a year or so out of college). We were chatting and she made mention that they moved around a lot as a kid. I made a wisecrack "Oh staying one step ahead of the law?" She replied "well, yes, sort of. My dad was always in a lot of trouble with the law". Ouch. Note to self - SHUTUP!

 

[4570Man]

I was at the Dr's office, and a nurse brings me into a room. There sits a picture if her with 2 young children. I took her to be in her mid-late 50s so I commented...
"What beautiful grandchildren you have"
Well.. they WEREN'T her grandchildren...
I then asked" Is there any way to salvage this situation?"
Her eyes teared up, she replied "NOPE!"
...and she walked out....

I hope my boot was clean.....it tasted awful...

She kinda brought that upon herself by having kids late in life and then putting a picture in her office. What does she expect people to assume?

 

[thepumpguysc]

Working in a room w/ 10 mechanics, THINGS are gonna get said that shouldn't have been said..
1 "BIG" {fat} fella walks in 1 day & announces that his wife is pregnant.. another shouts out>> What, did u get some on your finger???
"THAT'LL" go down in history..!!!

One day the secretary walk in the shop & said, Theres a guy at the front counter that wants to but 12 inches of fuel hose.. anybody know how to measure 12 inches?? What she really wanted was a tape measure.. but it came out wrong.. REAL wrong..Lol
One guy yells out>> just put it in your mouth & push.. when u start to choke.. THATS 12 inches.!!! {Theres 2 for the history books}

 

[oosik]

Many years ago - a group of us guys, at work, were admiring and commenting on how nice a new girl looked and other unmentionable comments. One of the younger guys spoke up - " Yes - she IS very nice and I sleep with her every night". Talk about wanting to crawl under a rock..............

 

[3Ts]

I used to work for a company that had a high divorce rate. I heard that one of the couples I knew was getting divorced so I went over and asked her what led up to the divorce. (I like to learn from others mistakes - I make enough of my own) Turns out her husband was caught by company security using a conference table for a bed with another woman.

 

[Fuddy1952]

Here's one!
Before I retired I had a business in town. One day my neighbor's brother came in with another guy. We've always been friends with the neighbor and wife, and I have seen his brother... they're both about 6ft. tall...but this guy was very short, plump with a long pointed beard.
That evening at home I spotted my neighbor so I walk over saying "I saw your brother today, he came into my store with this little garden gnome looking thing with him". Neighbor replies "Yea...that was my other brother Bill"!
I was speechless! Things haven't been quite the same since.

 

[CobyRupert]

Here's one!
Before I retired I had a business in town. One day my neighbor's brother came in with another guy. We've always been friends with the neighbor and wife, and I have seen his brother... they're both about 6ft. tall...but this guy was very short, plump with a long pointed beard.
That evening at home I spotted my neighbor so I walk over saying "I saw your brother today, he came into my store with this little garden gnome looking thing with him". Neighbor replies "Yea...that was my other brother Bill"!
I was speechless! Things haven't been quite the same since.

Could of been worse. You could of replied: "What, did you have a short fat mailman when you where growing up?"

 

[k0ua]

**(Q_ER&Q_QQ*what?()__

 

[bunyip]

'I do'
First one cost me a few hundred thousand $$$$$$$.

 

[Travelover]

...........husband was caught by company security using a conference table for a bed ...........

Shame on him for misusing company property.