Ever put your foot in your mouth?

[Jstpssng]

I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease.

Years ago when working out of motels the foreman woke me up in the middle of the night with food poisoning, asking me to bring him to the hospital. After dropping him off and heading back to the motel all that I could think of was getting back to sleep, when the blue lights came on. When he asked "Do you know what the speed limit is here?" the right answer probably wasn't "I don't know, but I guess that it isn't 65."

Staying away another time, I was joking with the clerk while checking out of the grocery store. She said something to which I replied
"You get paid for your looks, and they don't pay you enough."... except that what came out was "You get paid for your looks, and you don't make much money." Luckily she started laughing; probably because of the look on my face as I realized what I had said. I tried to talk my way out of it; but the harder I tried, the deeper the hole got that I was digging myself into, causing her to laugh even harder. Thankfully she wasn't some teenager with the insecurity issues which come at that age.

 

[turnkey4099]

Sad, most people care so much what others think. The world would be a better place if people just spoke their mind. Kind of like the pres!

That would be going a bit too far!

 

[Thomas]

NOPE...okay kinda :ashamed: only human you know.

 

[bunyip]

At a local pool sitting on the grass waiting for friends to arrive when this huge girl leapt off the 9' board creating a big wave, I commented to a scrawny little bloke stting close by 'she jumps in, the water jumps out', he replied 'that's my fiance'.
Couldn't dig my way out of that hole.

 

[Molalla1]

At a local pool sitting on the grass waiting for friends to arrive when this huge girl leapt off the 9' board creating a big wave, I commented to a scrawny little bloke stting close by 'she jumps in, the water jumps out', he replied 'that's my fiance'.
Couldn't dig my way out of that hole.

Oh boy, :laughing:

 

[oosik]

Noon meeting with the mayor(s) and finance manager(s) of the three SW Alaska boroughs in our conference room. Open the door and there is one of my secretaries and a member of my field staff - - right there on the conference table. I could have hidden in the dust lodged under one of the floor mats.

They got an A+ for performance and an F for location...............

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Noon meeting with the mayor(s) and finance manager(s) of the three SW Alaska boroughs in our conference room. Open the door and there is one of my secretaries and a member of my field staff - - right there on the conference table. I could have hidden in the dust lodged under one of the floor mats.

They got an A+ for performance and an F for location...............

They dont call it a nooner for nothing....

 

[Jim Shooz]

I worked for a large Govt department and every couple of years you had to go through a performance assessment.There was always a lot of apprehension/trepidation while waiting some months for your assessment score to come out. Your future promotion depended on getting a 'good' number.
After attending a meeting I was walking back to my office passing one of the other buildings, there were two ambulances parked out front. I walked past on the other side of the road and there was one of their bosses just standing on edge of the footpath (sidewalk) I flippantly said:

"What happened Arthur? Did someone just get their report?"
He replied: "No, My brother just died"

Sh!!!!!t

He and his brother both worked in different sections of the same department and Arthur's brother had just had a heart attach and died at his desk. The Ambos had sent him outside to get some fresh air and get him away from the scene.

 

[Jstpssng]

^^^
That's one which you couldn't have predicted, and in those circumstances we all would have been feeling like complete heels.

 

[robbyr]

Pulled up to the drive through window at our small town McDonalds recently. I’m the type to make lighthearted banter so noticing they were pretty busy that early in the morning I said Dang they have got ya slaving away already huh? Of course she was a black girl. Bout the time the words came out of my mouth it dawned on me what I said. She didn’t flinch though.