Got a reply about all this from the place I purchased. Which was Ingram's out of KY.
They suggest a grundfos up15-18 pump to circulate DHW through the DSH.
Said something to the effect that the head temp of the refrigerant will never exceed 130, so there is no risk of overheating.
I'm no HVAC expert so I don't know what the temps of R410a run. But assuming this is true, I can see how in loser demand conditions, like low stage with lower refrigerant temps, and a tank of water already at 125 degrees, that the DSH very well can have a reverse effect and actually cool the DHW.
Thus i like the idea of the temp controls and how the bard works to prevent this. And not waste energy running the DSH pump when no benefit or a negative benefit will result.
So, I ordered the bard.