?????? GROAN 2

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   / ?????? GROAN 2 #201  

i7win7

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Central, IL
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kubota bx2370, b2650, ford 4000
a 2 legged table
2 leg table.png
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #206  

buckeyefarmer

Super Star Member
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MD
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Kubota L3940 L5030 MF205-4
CV was the last straw for most malls. Although section 8 housing behind one of ours did it in before that.
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #207  

Pixguy

Super Member
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Oct 16, 2010
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6,199
Location
By the lake in NH
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2011 MF 2410 TLB
Health Q&A's


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.




Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!




Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.




Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?




Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around themiddle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.




Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.




Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!




Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets.

And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather toskid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #208  

i7win7

Veteran Member
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Location
Central, IL
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kubota bx2370, b2650, ford 4000
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter 'penis.'

Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password. She then almost died laughing at the computer's response:

PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH!
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #209  

i7win7

Veteran Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2020
Messages
1,614
Location
Central, IL
Tractor
kubota bx2370, b2650, ford 4000
Answering Machine Message "Camptown Races":


I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.
Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.
Might be gone all night... Might be gone all day...
So leave a message when you hear the tone.
I'll call you back someday...
 
   / ?????? GROAN 2 #210  

k0ua

Epic Contributor
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
30,835
Location
Branson, Mo.
Tractor
Kioti DK35se Hydrostat
I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

A carload of scruffy-bearded, young men shouting Anti-American slogans
with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember George Floyd" slogan spray painted on the side stopped next to me.

Suddenly they yelled, "Defund the police." and took off before the light changed.

Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself, "Man ... that coulda been me!"

So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
 
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