?????? GROAN 2

[Pixguy]

A young woman was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down.

An American Indian on horseback soon came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would shout out a wild
“Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-” so loud that it echoed off the surrounding hills.

When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, she expressed her thanks, and he yelled a final “Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a!” and rode off.

“Why was that Indian so excited?” asked the service station attendant.

“I don’t know. I just rode behind him on the horse with my arms around his waist and holding onto the saddle horn so that I wouldn’t fall off,” the woman answered.

“Lady,” the attendant said,
“Indians don’t use saddles.”

 

[i7win7]

Some redneck found a new use for old stumps

 

[i7win7]

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood.
To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared & where he had carved "I love you, Sally".

On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armoured car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, & they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, & its fifty-thousand dollars.

The husband says: "We've got to give it back".
She says, "Finders keepers" & puts the money back in the bag & hides it up in their attic.
The next day, two policemen are going from door-to-door in the neighbourhood looking for the money show up at their home.
One knocks on the door & says: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?"
She says: "No"..
The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
She says: "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

But the policemen sit the man down & begin to question him.
One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."
The old man says: "Well, when Sally & I were walking home from school yesterday ..."
At this, the policeman looks at his partner & says: "We're outta here ..."

 

[czechsonofagun]

Some redneck found a new use for old stumps

View attachment 708796

Reminds me of russian fairytails. The witch would live in a hut on chicken leg.

 

[czechsonofagun]

 

[Pixguy]

Sven and Ollie are sitting in the two seater outhouse.
Just as Sven stands up, two quarters fall out of his pocket and down the hole.

Ollie asks Sven, Sven, what was that?
Sven says, dog gone it Ollie, two quarters just fell out of my pocket and into the hole!

Ollie says to Sven, that's a real shame there Sven, what are you gonna do?
Just then Sven takes off his watch and throws it down the hole.
In horror Ollie watches as Sven reaches into his back pocket and then throws his wallet and keys down too.

Ollie screams, Sven!!! What the heck are you doing!!!????

Sven shouts back, well you don't think I'm going down there just for 50 cents do ya???

 

[i7win7]

Got the brake light working

 

[i7win7]

OSHA approved office chair

 

[i7win7]

A guy calls a law office and says: "I want to talk to my lawyer."
The receptionist replies, "I’m sorry, but he died last week."

The next day he phones again and asks the same question. The receptionist replies, "I told you yesterday, he died last week."

The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer. By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, "I keep telling you, your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling?"
The guy says, "Because I just love hearing it."

 

[i7win7]

Most men are like bank accounts...
When they don't have a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.