Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.....

[jbrumberg]

IT- It's incredibly difficult to balance one's adult personal life and responsibilities with meeting the personal and safety needs of an active elderly independent parent. It's amazing what trouble they can get themselves into.

We do the best that we can with what skills we have.

Good luck to you too.

 

[farmeratheart]

My sister and I were lucky. Dad lived to 96- all but the last 4 weeks at home and Mom lived to 92- all but the last 6 months at home. About 10 years before Dad passed we sat down with our parents and had the very hard discussion about what aging in place was going to entail. We replaced the porch stairs with a wheelchair ramp. We took out the bathtub and replaced with a walk-in shower with bench seat. We put in a basement stair lift. Our agreement with them was that we were willing to make the infrastructure improvements for them IF they agreed to use a Life Alert service. Mom used it the 1st time when Dad fell and could not get up. She was wheelchair bound by then and couldn’t help him. After Dad died, I know she used it after a fall transferring herself from bed to the wheelchair. (At the time I lived 4 hours away and my sister was about 1.5 hours away.) The Life Alert allowed them to live several more years of independence.

 

[Industrial Toys]

My God, I took my Mom to get her License renewed. First, I drove six hours to get her to an appointment that we missed because she got the address wrong. She passed the test. Seems they will give it to anyone, She is a proud woman, and never figured that she would have to remove her knitted winter hat for the license picture. Under her hat, was a birds nest of hair with an intangled pair of eye glasses with one lense missing! The attendant insisted that the glasses had to be removed for the picture. So with a line of people growing longer and watching, I borrowed some scissors and cut the glasses out of Moms hair.

 

[drssg]

Before my dad had his heart bypass surgery, he spent an entire night buckled over in pain right next to the phone. He didn’t want to call 911 because my sister lived right next door. He was concerned that an ambulance in the middle of the night would disturb her.

People are going to live their life as they see fit. We can offer to help, but if they’re not senile, they deserve to make their own choices.

 

[jbrumberg]

My Father got his FL driver's license renewed w/o question. A month later he hit a brand new Mercedes and a supermarket in a plaza mall. Witnesses reported to the responding officer that the Mercedes operator caused the accident, but my Father lost his driver's license at the site of the accident. Luckily other than some damaged egos nobody got hurt. My Dad was lucky.

drssg- Your Dad's experience is pretty common. I agree about the right of a competent aging adult to make informed decisions regarding their own lives for better or worse. Losing one's independence is usually traumatic. In an ideal world one could age in place with necessary and agreed upon services and supports for a successful life in one's own home.

 

[bigtiller]

My widowed mom wears a flip phone in her bra. It works great as long as she remains conscious and not in the shower.

 

[k0ua]

Before my dad had his heart bypass surgery, he spent an entire night buckled over in pain right next to the phone. He didn’t want to call 911 because my sister lived right next door. He was concerned that an ambulance in the middle of the night would disturb her.

People are going to live their life as they see fit. We can offer to help, but if they’re not senile, they deserve to make their own choices.

That right there is one of the biggest problems. The not wanting to bother anyone with their problems. "oh it is just a little heart attack... Wouldn't want to upset the daughter!".

 

[jbrumberg]

That right there is one of the biggest problems. The not wanting to bother anyone with their problems. "oh it is just a little heart attack... Wouldn't want to upset the daughter!".

I agree and already see signs that I will probably act in a similar fashion despite my experiences; probably like many of the posters here.

 

[Bird]

My God, I took my Mom to get her License renewed. First, I drove six hours to get her to an appointment that we missed because she got the address wrong. She passed the test. Seems they will give it to anyone,

Less than a month ago, we went and took a former neighbor lady out to lunch for her 89th birthday. And she happened to mention that she had just renewed her drivers license with no problems.

 

[Industrial Toys]

Something about getting them to look at a clock. Looking for dimensia (sp?) . How about taking a real driving test? My Mom has rear ended several people and doesn't seem to think anything of it. Then, I get to hear about how long she has ben driving and that I have had accidents too.

I would not pass a real license test, no longer familiar with exact rules. How far behind a sidewalk crossing do you have to stop? Stop, heck, you just coast on through trying not to run over anyones feet, or slap them in the face with your mirrors!