Helping a parent to deal with losing their driving priveleges
- Thread starter Jstpssng
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2LaneCruzer
Super Member
In my case, it seemed to have solved itself. My Dad realized that he had a problem; he called me and Sharn Jean said let's take him in. We cared for him for 2 years, unitil he passed.
/pine
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It's a tough row to hoe...!
First there has to be someone that can carry them where they need to go...dr.'s appointments, etc. etc. etc...
And along with them having to give up (some of) their independence they will feel like when a son or daughter etc. is driving them that they are imposing on them and their time...sometimes you have to be a good fibber...!
First there has to be someone that can carry them where they need to go...dr.'s appointments, etc. etc. etc...
And along with them having to give up (some of) their independence they will feel like when a son or daughter etc. is driving them that they are imposing on them and their time...sometimes you have to be a good fibber...!
2manyrocks
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Both of my parents seemed to know when it was time to quit. On the other hand, the kids had to hide the keys from my wife's grandfather (dementia).
jaotguy
Veteran Member
a lot of the hectic stuff can be avoided ( dr appts, etc )
set aside one day of the week for those chores/tests/etc .... let the offices know that mom/dad has transportation on "Wednesdays only" and can they book the appointment for that day ... most can accommodate the requests. ... same for shopping , movies , etc .... make it a day out with them and take time to do the stuff they want to do , places they want to see ...
fewer surprises ... more control over your life ( and theirs)
set aside one day of the week for those chores/tests/etc .... let the offices know that mom/dad has transportation on "Wednesdays only" and can they book the appointment for that day ... most can accommodate the requests. ... same for shopping , movies , etc .... make it a day out with them and take time to do the stuff they want to do , places they want to see ...
fewer surprises ... more control over your life ( and theirs)
ultrarunner
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My Grandmother at 92 had no trouble passing the test... her one and only fender bender happened when she was 60.
One day she announced she would no longer be driving... kept her car to have available when people took her shopping and such. The reason she stopped is because she came upon a sideshow... for those that don't know it is when a group basically take over a road or intersection and do donuts and such until the tire smoke is so thick you can no longer see... they also do it on the freeway... close it down doing donuts... anyway... she said to many crazy drivers and that was it...
My Step grandfather had his licensed pulled driving home one night... poor night vision... he got it back with the provisions of no night or freeway driving... he was still working Monday to Friday from 8 to 4:30 and one day on the way home was pulled over on the freeway... license gone... had a real hard time because this meant he had to have someone take him and pick him up from work.
Mom has stopped driving accept to the local market and church... she no longer drives at night or freeway... same thing... lots of reckless drivers blowing through stop lights and stop signs... she's never had an accident or ticket.
It does make it hard when your parents/grandparents live alone and no longer drive... on them and on those that have to be available to help...
My widow neighbor across the street gave up driving at 94 and sold her car... same thing... the young drivers around here are very reckless... now at 101 she calls a taxi if she has a Doctor's appointment...
One day she announced she would no longer be driving... kept her car to have available when people took her shopping and such. The reason she stopped is because she came upon a sideshow... for those that don't know it is when a group basically take over a road or intersection and do donuts and such until the tire smoke is so thick you can no longer see... they also do it on the freeway... close it down doing donuts... anyway... she said to many crazy drivers and that was it...
My Step grandfather had his licensed pulled driving home one night... poor night vision... he got it back with the provisions of no night or freeway driving... he was still working Monday to Friday from 8 to 4:30 and one day on the way home was pulled over on the freeway... license gone... had a real hard time because this meant he had to have someone take him and pick him up from work.
Mom has stopped driving accept to the local market and church... she no longer drives at night or freeway... same thing... lots of reckless drivers blowing through stop lights and stop signs... she's never had an accident or ticket.
It does make it hard when your parents/grandparents live alone and no longer drive... on them and on those that have to be available to help...
My widow neighbor across the street gave up driving at 94 and sold her car... same thing... the young drivers around here are very reckless... now at 101 she calls a taxi if she has a Doctor's appointment...
ultrarunner
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On a related note... the elderly father of my friend lived alone in Sparks Nevada... he totaled his car and the lost his license...
Didn't remember anything about it... one day he took a cab to a car Dealership and wrote a check for $ 42,000 for a new SUV and drove it home... Dealer didn't check license or insurance since it was a cash sale... totaled it on the way home going the wrong way on a freeway off ramp... the man was brilliant and self made... then alzheimers took over.
Didn't remember anything about it... one day he took a cab to a car Dealership and wrote a check for $ 42,000 for a new SUV and drove it home... Dealer didn't check license or insurance since it was a cash sale... totaled it on the way home going the wrong way on a freeway off ramp... the man was brilliant and self made... then alzheimers took over.
sixdogs
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This is pretty much the best answer.
It's hard to deal with not driving and losing freedoms but that's the way life goes. A lot of people didn't live long enough to get to this point. I think as we age we realize the options and know we have to accept it regardless of how it's presented or sugar coated. Life is a finite experience for ever one of us, rich or poor, smart or not, big shot or small fry and aging is a part of it.
David Devuono
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I wonder if you need a licence to drive a horse and buggy? No kidding lots of folks moving into my area only use a horse and buggy. I am building my retirement home with the idea of have a mainfloor Master suite which will be for my mother, and later on for my wife and I when we are old, like in our 90's.
jaotguy
Veteran Member
time to invest in a "mobility scooter" like wally world offers some clients ... about 30 mile range ... older folks can be mobile enough to visit friends down the street , grocery shop locally , bingo , etc ....
